At someone else's house, how do you ask for something?

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When you are visiting someone's house, how do you ask for things, such as a drink of water or to use the bathroom?
I've been running over through my head all the phrases I know and they all don't seem right.
"May I have a glass of water?" That sounds nice and polite, but if they are really casual (i.e. relative), they might think its weird if they think its ok for me to go in their kitchen and find my way around their stuff. But i'd feel nervous doing that. And if its weird, maybe they think I'm asking them to get me one themself like a servant, and that's not polite.
"Do you guys have any waterbottles?" But waterbottles aren't environmentally friendly, and these ppl are really environmentally cautious.
"Can I have some water?" That just sounds really crude.

Then I had to go to the bathroom. If you know where the bathroom is, do you still ask to use it? I tested the sound of that in my brain, "Can I use your restroom?" And that sounded wrong.

I've gone through agonies about asking to use the bathroom.

If I ask, they look at me like I'm mad and make an 'it's not kindergarten' joke so I feel like I want to die from embarrassment (they don't mean to do this to me but it seems to be a reflex for people to do it).

If I don't ask, I have no idea how to leave the room. If we're sitting around talking, do I just get up and leave without saying anything or do I say something? If I say something, what do I say? If I don't, I feel very strange and everyone looks at me as If I did it wrong.

When I was a kid, I would wet myself rather than go to the bathroom in someone else's house. Now, I just try to avoid social situations altogether.

This isn't purely because of bathrooms, basically every social decision is the same for me. A minefield of agonies about things that normal people seem to just KNOW how to do.

"would you mind if i get some water/ use your restroom?"

they probably won't mind and will act like you didn't have to ask, but will actually appreciate that you did ask.

follow up with "okay, thanks. umm. . . where is it?"

Very, very politely.

I must seem like a douchebag so many times without realizing it. But honestly i dont care. If i need/want something i just ask directly for it. If they want to think things about it thats their weakness not mine.

To avoid the water issue, I always carry my own bottle.

As for the bathroom, I rarely go someplace I'm not familiar, but at a friend/relative's house, I will usually say "I'll be right back." I find that solves my problem of leaving the room/conversation abruptly, without the jokes about "it's not kindergarten, you don't have to ask". I also tend to wait too long, though, as I hate going to the bathroom anywhere that's not home.

I always ask, like "Could I have a glass of water?" Or "Can I use your bathroom?"

Sometimes they make jokes, or say "No." as a joke which is hell because half the time I take them seriously.

But I find it completely impossible for me to just do it without asking.

My parents always told me it is impolite to ask someone if you could get something to drink.

Over the years, I realized this isn't true. The reason that it's considered impolite is because it may shame the host because they forgot to offer something.
I have some aspie friends who don't think about offering something to drink, so when I'm at theirs, I always just ask. They never considered it to be impolite.

If I'm thirsty and at someone who I rarely see (when I don't know their habits in offering drinks), I mostly say something like "I'm really thirsty, could I maybe get a glass of water?"

We all need to have water and go to the bathroom. It's a human thing. Of course, it's always better to be polite but don't think it to death or you'll find yourself so afraid to even say anything. I have been to many places and homes and I just ask and don't worry too much how it sounded. I mean really if you gotta go then you gotta go. "Where is your bathroom? I need to go.", "Can I use your restroom?" Frankly I find this to be a funny moment. So, I just don't worry about asking. As most people can relate to being at someones house and being in the same situation. I'm thirsty, can I have a glass of water please? and don't forget to say "Thank You." As long as you are polite it doesn't really matter how you ask.