A friendship severed

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I had recently planned on having a get together this upcoming weekend and had invited over several people who I associate with. One of the people originally put "Maybe," on the invitation and then decided to put ,"No," on the invite and make this phoney apology. "Oh no, I forgot it's mother's day this weekend and we are going to the Renaissance Festival that day." I told him that sounded fun and then that he mother was cool. I then attempted to invite him to a movie on Friday but he said that he wanted to stay home. In all honesty, I had no problem with him staying home, however, I had also invited him to several other events and he had made excuses that he was busy doing things with his family or that everything else was really important.

This person also has Asperger's Syndrome and likes to deny that he has it and likes to try and cover it up. So, he has been associating with people in a singles group who do heavy drinking and partying and blowing off any of his friends with Asperger's Syndrome or Autism. I have often asked him why he is not interested in attending a gathering which usually boils down to that my parties are not exciting enough and that they are boring. I have also confronted him for making commitments and then breaking them by being passive-aggressive, and he has admitted to her behaviors.

Long story short, I sent him a message in facebook stating that I was concerned with his recent behavior and his treatment of others with AS while associating with the other group and that I felt like they were a bad influence on him. I also said that I felt that ever since he had joined that group that he had been a jerk to me and our other friends. I then sent him a text telling him that I was getting really tired of his crap. He then texted back "What are you mad at now, I told the truth, do you think that I am lying?" I then confronted him by mentioning that it was obvious that he didn't want to hang out. "I sort of don't," he replied back. I asked him why and he wrote back stating that he was busy and then asked me to call him back the next day before such and such time. I wrote back and told him to get over himself. He replied, "You first." I then said "Excuse me? Goodbye".

I had decided that I didn't want him as a friend after that and vice versa which ended up with a message on my voice mail with him yelling at me that our friendship was over. He then yelled at me for fighting with him on facebook and texting. On top of that, he tried to manipulate me by telling me that the reason he had such an attitude was because he was cleaning for his brother. Meanwhile, he also chose to take me off his list of friends on facebook.

How should I have handled dealing with someone like him?

Should have just ditched him, there comes a time when you just can't handle with these people. Eventually he'll either get over himself or he won't. You shouldn't let it worry you. The shouting and anger may be because you're right, he knows you're right and he doesn't like that. You did mostly the right thing but facebook and texts and confronting, 1 or 2 would have been well enough.

How should I have handled it rather than talking to him on facebook? With me being on the spectrum, I have trouble being assertive and I can often escalate to saying things that I don't mean. If I were to confront someone like this guy in the future, how should I have handled it?

I also sent him another text message after I got that message and explained to him that it was one way that I communicate and that he was not to talk to me like that. I then got home and read his short messages online by stating, "What is so bad about staying in on Friday Night?"
I then mentioned to him that it wasn't a problem at all but it was just that he was always leading me around and giving me mixed messages. I then told him that I didn't think that singles group was so good for either of us since it was pulling us both down and causing us to get hurt by drinking each time. Finally, I mentioned that we were bad for each other since there was no good chemistry there anymore and that I wished him luck in the future.

It's just you sent a facebook message then a text before he replied (unless there's something you didn't mention). But yeah it is most definitely good he's gone, this guy sounds awful.

Lol, he is awful but that is because those people are pulling him down and teaching him to treat and manipulate other people. He was also a partier all through college and did a bunch of drinking there too. As for the message and text messages, it got to the point where I got fed up with him. He was always having an attitude about every little thing and that things had to be a certain way. For him, my parties were too lame and boring and didn't carry enough excitement. For instance, he would whine that my parties often consisted of us drinking luke warm water, eating cookies, and watching movies, and that my parties were always way too far away. Meanwhile, he was also getting an attitude with his cool friends even when they took him out to a diner to do karaoke and paid for his drinks as well as everyone else's saying that it wasn't his type of place. It was like it's everyone else's responsibility to try and keep him entertained all the time and never his own.

I am glad you got that idiot out of your life. People like that I always hate, they really get to me. I'm mean to people sometimes but not like that, people always know that I'll be there. If I don't want to go, I'll be honest but I won't diss you, I just don't feel like going. I'm glad he's out of your life. You got MSN? We could talk there. Sorry if I'm being forward, I just like making new friends.

No I don't but I do have AIM or we could send messages on here. I am also glad that I got that guy out of my life. He wanted me out of his life and didn't really have the nerve to say so and so I decided that he was wasting my time.

How about just email then?