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Alycat
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24 Jul 2010, 3:56 pm

I have kind of kept my AS a secret since I was diagnosed, but my T suggested when I make friends I should let them know.
Recently I've started to become more friendly with a couple of people, so I've been trying to tell them about my AS.
1) My boss I told a while ago, because she kept arguing with me saying 'why can't you...' and eventually I said 'I can't I have Aspergers!' which was perhaps not the best way.
2) I told a woman on my trampolining course via email. She's been good about it, and said she sort of knew about it already.
3) I texted my trampolining course today, but haven't heard back yet. I'm nervous about it.

How do you tell people? How do you phrase it? And how do you choose who to tell?


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lotusblossom
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24 Jul 2010, 4:09 pm

When I was diagnosed I went round telling everyone I knew, it went very badly and most of the people would not talk to me again, the ones who would talk to me said they did not beleive in aspergers.

Now I only tell profecionals who are involved with me. However that has gone wrong on several occasions when they did not beleive I had it and thought I was misdiagnosed or another one where they thought it meant I was a risk to my children.

I often now will just tell people I am an anxious person or have social phobia as people tend to beleive that better, though a snotty aspie at a meet up said she did not think I had social phobia either!

I hate telling people I have aspergers as it has had such negative reactions, it makes me uncomfortable and has not helped. People dont tend to be more tollerant or understanding when they know, they still have too high standards.



KaiG
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24 Jul 2010, 4:11 pm

I don't feel the need. People generally think I'm quirky and unusual, and they are either intrigued or they aren't. I don't feel the need to stick a label on it.


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Ichinin
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24 Jul 2010, 4:30 pm

Well, whenever i see people looking at me funny or turn their head i mention Aspergers in a "by the way"-way, example:

-"(blah bla blah)...i sometimes shower up to 4 times a day during the summer, usually in intense heat which makes me relaxed, it is possible that it is related to Aspergers", which sort of "bakes it into the bread" and defuses the situation.


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Laz
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24 Jul 2010, 4:58 pm

Yeah BTW I'm an autistic spazz.

That gives me free licence to masterbate in public basically



Ichinin
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24 Jul 2010, 5:28 pm

Laz wrote:
Yeah BTW I'm an autistic spazz.

That gives me free licence to masterbate in public basically



No it makes you (yet another) forum troll which we seem to need so much more of here :roll:


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Willard
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24 Jul 2010, 5:42 pm

Alycat wrote:
How do you tell people? How do you phrase it? And how do you choose who to tell?


Try wearing a WrongPlanet cap everywhere you go and let them ask you about it. :D


I prefer the term 'a form of High Functioning Autism', simply because people have at least some vague clue as to what that is. Most people have never heard of Asperger Syndrome and Ass Burgers sounds so weird, it just distracts from whatever is said after. Of course, if you pronounce it properly Ahz-pair-gur Syndrome, it sounds much more exotic, but they still won't know what you're talking about.

I have no problem with disclosing it, but its almost impossible to describe in a nutshell, so I wouldn't try unless I had at least a half hour and a quiet, comfortable environment to attempt to explain it. Most people just don't get it, no matter how you tell them. Unless they're close to you, they just don't care enough to wrap their heads around it. I've not had anyone bully me because I told them, but I have tried to explain why something was hard for me because of my Autism, and they continued to stubbornly insist that I was 'just shy' and they could cure me and make me an aggressive salesman. I'm still fighting that discrimination.



rmctagg09
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24 Jul 2010, 6:24 pm

I've only told close friends and teachers about it, and no one else. I also don't really feel like dealing with people who'd say I don't have autism because I don't fit into their stereotypical view of it since my NT mask is so good.



astaut
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24 Jul 2010, 8:59 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
When I was diagnosed I went round telling everyone I knew, it went very badly and most of the people would not talk to me again, the ones who would talk to me said they did not beleive in aspergers.


Don't believe in Aspergers, so weird :roll: I guess quite a bit of people don't 'believe' in neurological/psychological conditions but I still find it hard to imagine.

I told one friend, but that's because I suspected it before I got diagnosed. I brought up AS in conversation one day and explained what it was and just told her when I got diagnosed. My other good friend thinks 'Aspergers' is equal to 'ret*d' so I don't tell her.


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GoatOnFire
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24 Jul 2010, 11:47 pm

I don't tell. A couple of times I have been in a room where the conversation turns to Asperger's syndrome, and generally I get the impression that what people do know about it comes from negative stuff on the internet.


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lotusblossom
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25 Jul 2010, 1:52 am

astaut wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
When I was diagnosed I went round telling everyone I knew, it went very badly and most of the people would not talk to me again, the ones who would talk to me said they did not beleive in aspergers.


Don't believe in Aspergers, so weird :roll: I guess quite a bit of people don't 'believe' in neurological/psychological conditions but I still find it hard to imagine.

I told one friend, but that's because I suspected it before I got diagnosed. I brought up AS in conversation one day and explained what it was and just told her when I got diagnosed. My other good friend thinks 'Aspergers' is equal to 'ret*d' so I don't tell her.

yes they think that its 'labelling' difference and not a true condition. They think that in children its just an excuse for bad parenting and in adults its just an excuse for not fitting in.

A therapist I had for a short time said I should just accept that Im a 'crazy eccentric', and that I did not need to have a diagnosis to bring me down. I said to her that my diagnosis was not for her or anyone else but for myself to aid in my understanding of myself and I didnt care what she thought, it was what it meant for me which counted.



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25 Jul 2010, 2:29 am

very casually


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25 Jul 2010, 4:23 pm

Many of the people I work with I told actually came back to me and said I knew that was the way you were-it seems that everybody but me knew-The boss know but only becasuse he always wondered why I do the things I do and the HR lady had no problem with it because her son is also an aspie.My boss just wanted to know if there was a medicine that I could take for it I guess to make me the perfect employee that wont embarass the company.


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nick007
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25 Jul 2010, 7:39 pm

I've tried telling a few people I worked with before I was an Aspie but they had no idea what AS or autism wer; there's not much awareness of that here & the little there is seems to think it's mental retardation. It's not a label I go out of my way to advertise. I rather keep the label to myself till I know people a while & then mention it causally if the conversation is in that direction


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25 Jul 2010, 8:03 pm

I don't generally tell anyone unless I feel they need to know; like my teachers or my boss. I can fake it well enough that most people don't even have a clue I'm different. When I do though, it's always carefully and as innocuously as possible. I never want to make it seem like it's a huge deal that prevents me from functioning like a normal human being.


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jojobean
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26 Jul 2010, 9:39 pm

when I tell people...that I have high functioning autism, most people I interact with are amazed at how well I function. Meaning that I am not banging my head on the floor wearing diapers. Most people dont know that autism is a spectrum disorder that goes from severely impaired to freakin' genius with some difficulties.
One time I was helping my mom with her SSDI lawyer, she mentioned that I have high functioning autism. He looked at me like I just stepped off a spaceship and said, "ya..VERY high functioning.

I also had a therapist that did not believe that I have autism...untill I told her that I had to be taught english as a second language as a kid because I could not congregate verbs correctly and there was a 50 point differnce between by verbal IQ and my nonverbal IQ scores.

It kinda sucks to work so hard in therapy to be more functional...and now ppl are less inclined to believe me.

But when I tell other people...I often just throw it out there in the middle of conversation as if it were no big deal.

You are better off saying you have high fuctioning autism than asperger's...it tends to not weird them out as much.
But as far as ppl not believing that aspergers is a valid dx...you can tell them that for a very long time doctors and others thought fibromialgia (a chronic pain disease) was just in ppl head, untill recently it was discovered that it is caused by a virus.

I personally think that folks like autism speaks started the rumor mill about aspergers not being a valid dx because we are so vocal about what they do.

anyway,
take care and it is up to you how much you wish to disclose

Jojo


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