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Dakow
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Joined: 2 Apr 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Male
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02 May 2011, 10:12 pm

TL:DR version at bottom.

I'll start off by saying I don't NOT like him, we are just very different people and I don't really want to deal with him.

I'm 15, and know somebody (Let's call him James). James is an aspie like me. I've known him for a long time. For a while I was friends with him.

He dropped out of school, and now works for a family member.

I don't like him so much anymore. This is for a few reasons. One is that he has the kind of humor and ideas that I don't really like, such as being obsessed with guns and making jokes about killing people. I am very much against killing. Coupled with the fact that he and his life are unstable, this creates a situation where it could be potentially dangerous in the future if I get on his bad side (I could just be paranoid).

Also, I find him annoying. He has recently started calling me after school when I'm exhausted and don't want to talk to anybody. I tried ignoring him for one day, but he is so persistent that it didn't work. I was home alone. He called me 3 times, and I didn't answer. He shows up at my house and rings the doorbell. I don't answer. He waits for 20 minutes on my step (Seriously?) My dad comes home and let's him in. He finds me and he insists that we do something. The story goes on.

He also won't take no for an answer.
"Want to go biking?"
"Sorry, I can't"
"Why? "
"My mom said no."
"Why'd she say no?"
"We're going somewhere"
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know"
"When are you coming back?"

If I tell him I'm busy and I don't know how long I'll be, he calls every hour to see if I'm done.

I don't like to do anything with him not because I don't like him but because we have very different interests. It's honestly just boring to go somewhere with him. Not his fault, but we are different people.

It is impossible to say no to him. He has an answer for EVERYTHING.

Also from what I gather, he's doing all this because he believes I don't get outside enough. He said that I should "not hide behind a computer all day". Then the sense of humor that I don't like comes back, and he says that if I was one of "those fat nerds," he'd smash my computer (It's a joke, but still).

He also does not realize that I am in fact a fairy active person, but it shouldn't be any of his concern.

It seems like he feels that it's his responsibility to change my lifestyle and get me outside more. I'd really like to tell him that it's not his job to do that, and that it's honestly fricken annoying.

I'd also like to tell him that unlike him, I am INTROVERTED. I don't like to "hang out" all that much.

So, to summarize:

- Violent interests and humor, potentially dangerous when combined with instability.
- EXTREMELY persistent
- Lives close to me
- Tries to be responsible for my lifestyle, and tries to make me more active for my own good. 
- Different, incompatible interests from me
- I don't particularly dislike him, but things don't work out between us.

What should I do?



TenPencePiece
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03 May 2011, 4:51 am

Dakow wrote:
Also, I find him annoying. He has recently started calling me after school when I'm exhausted and don't want to talk to anybody. I tried ignoring him for one day, but he is so persistent that it didn't work. I was home alone. He called me 3 times, and I didn't answer. He shows up at my house and rings the doorbell. I don't answer. He waits for 20 minutes on my step (Seriously?) My dad comes home and let's him in. He finds me and he insists that we do something. The story goes on.

It doesn't sound like he understands your need to be alone after school. Perhaps you need to be up front and explain this to him if you haven't already. I don't blame you for finding it annoying though.
Dakow wrote:
It seems like he feels that it's his responsibility to change my lifestyle and get me outside more. I'd really like to tell him that it's not his job to do that, and that it's honestly fricken annoying.

I'd also like to tell him that unlike him, I am INTROVERTED. I don't like to "hang out" all that much.

Well if it comes to it, tell him that. Or try to make him imagine what it would be like if he was in your shoes. Perhaps he'll get the message that way. I don't know what else you could do, perhaps others could be of more advice. It obviously seems that ignoring doesn't work.


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