Difference between polite and friendly

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I always struggle with the difference between someone being polite e.g. in a work or business context and someone being genuinely friendly to you
I go to an exercise class with a work mate. She did suggest initially I go. She talks with her friends and the instructor there and they obviously socialise together. After the class they talk. I am not sure if I am welcome i.e. if it is weird if I join in their conversation as personal e.g. about their partner's health problems - who I have never met.
I feel OK talking to the workmate on her own but don't really know the others. I either rush out of the class or hang around like a spare part next to them not saying anything and feeling awkward.
I am also unsure if she minds giving me a lift. She does not offer but always says yes in what I think is a positive way. Once or twice she has offered when the other workmate has gone. She does however hang around for half an hour after work, then walk 20 minutes to where her car is.

Any ideas?

I wish I could answer and help you 123 but I have the same problem I hope you dont mind me posting the same problem on your post....

At my job I am having the same problem.

We do not work in the same area but she is always happy to be working with someone she knows, she talks and jokes with me when she sees me, giving the odd high five and the such but at the same time she is also talking to her ohter friends about going to this movie that lake or doing that again. It sounds like after work they always do something once a week and she is talking about this right in front of me.

If you want to know if you are welcome to join the group, wave hello to your friend from a certain distance (about 3 meters would be OK. Make sure she notices you waved hello, and if she did not, say "Hi, -----. How are you?". If she wants you to join the group, she will invite you over. If she waves back or replies to your greetings but does not invite you, that means that she does not want to share her friends (some people do not like to "share" their friends - which I find crazy, by the way).

If she replies in a positive way to your request for a lift, then it means she is OK with it. If she is not, she should say something. But I would recommend you to talk to her openly about it. If she drives you very often (more than 2 times a week), you should offer her some money to cover her gas expenses (the amount you would spend if you take a cab, for example). If she refuses, it is polite to insist at least two times before dropping the subject. That way you are not abusing her friendship.