How do I make friends?

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I am male and 17 with ASD and I have a hard time making friends I don't know why. People are always mean to me for some reason and I don't know why. I try to be nice but none will ever talk to me or hang out with me. I have people to talk to but none to hang out with. When someone hangs out with me they will talk to me for a few but then when someone comes in that they know they would walk up and talk to them. At my school everyone always has someone to talk to but I am mostly by my self at lunch I would hide upstairs and eat there where none is or I would be bored on the weekend most of the time and by my self and just stay there and be bored. None talks or texts me on the weekend I get so lonely and none invites me anywhere my parents tell me to wait for them to invite me but I am not sure about that. I am mostly shy and mute the whole time and I feel so lonely. Everyone always picks on me and is being mean to me and I did not do anything to deserve that. I only have some people to talk to at school but I don't have anyone to hang out with after school and I am just by my self. I never get anyone to talk to me and when it is group time in class I am alone most of the time and wishing that I had my own group of people would accept me. I don't know why people don't want ot be my friend I am extremely nice but I don't know why people don't like to talk to me and just stay away from me. Is this just me that is having this problem I don't know what could be wrong.

oh and sorry for bad spelling everyone my comp does not have a spell checker.

I'm 40 years old and what you're going through is similar to what I went through growing up. I did have friends, but they were few and far in between. As I got older, people have continued to be mean to me at work. I studied sociology in college and even taught it as a college professor for 9 years. Learning about social interaction has helped me tremendously. I even read about body language and facial expressions to further help me in social interactions. It would be nice if we lived in a world where people could just accept us for who we are, but I think my life has been easier since I've started to study about how to be "normal".

As much as I want to run away and hide at times, isolation is NOT the answer. That only puts a bigger target on your back. I was bullied at my last workplace because I tried to stay to myself. Instead now when I want to be alone, I read a book or do something to make others think I'm busy. Hope this helps. Just know that you're not alone.

It's absolutely not just you. Highschool and teen years are the most difficult and exclusionary of any social arena. Look around you and you will see other lonely souls in your school.

Study it for a while and if you'd like, approach one of them. He or she may like a friend too.

Hang in there. All the best to you.

Ok ok, I agree that the highschool/ teen years are some of the most difficult times to go to through. It's been 3 years since I graduated highschool and I'm about finsh to uni. Since highschool I've understood people a little better and know how to make a bit of small talk. I'm glad I don't have to go back to highschool for good reason, I found that my interests didn't match with people of my own age and they found me very strange. I was basically singled out because I was very strange. At the time I was not aware I had Aspergers and I was wondering why no one wanted to be friends with me. I still feel lonely but I make an effort to improve myself and try to be more social (it's one of my new years resolutions). People are a**holes and they aren't going to give a damn about you. However I suggest to you that you find some kind of support system, I'm about to find a support group for my Aspergers. You just need to find postive people, someone who is going to give you a chance to grow and not be judged. This support system could be online or offline, it's important you have friends and I'm just learning this now myself. All the best and good luck

Hey, I'm seventeen as well, and I have...well, something. Hard to say if it's AS or inwardly directed ADD or whatever, but I definitely know what it's like to have very few friends. Firstly, I know it might be a little out of place to tell you to ignore your parents, but waiting for people to invite you is definitely not going to work. You have to make it known hat you're interested in relationships with peers of similar interests. Without that, none of them know you exist. This is something I have yet to work on; in sixth grade I was the kid who never shut up about Led Zeppelin, and now I'm the kid who just flat out never talks. I just get shy now about going up to someone and talking to them. But it's something we all have to work through.
I hope this helps at any rate.

Another problem is that when I do make friends I never want to hang out with them. People would ask me why I never hang out with other people sometimes and it is kind of weird. I have this reverse effect on me wanting friends first I want friends and then when I do get friends I don't want any friends at all.


I also have a hard time starting a conversation with other people. They would usually talk to me but I always try to start a conversation by asking to many questions. I am unsure of how to communicate with them so I would start talking to them and ask them really stupid questions about random stuff.

I found helpful
http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Make-Anyone ... 0722540248



http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-friends-2

I am also afraid to talk to people as well I want to talk to them but I am to shy to walk up to them and I don't know how to start up a conversation or greet my self with them.

If you can find a way to remain calm and centered, it will help. Can you take martial arts or yoga classes? Both of those helped me maintain focus in stressful situations. Being more comfortable with yourself will help other people feel more comfortable with you.

I know how you feel. I'm a 17-year-old with AS and I usually spend days without talking to people my own age. I actively try to set up things with some of the girls, but they rarely seem interested and usually don't invite me along on their own. I did have friends but recently a bunch of them became popular all of a sudden and left me behind, so I'm kind of stuck in my room all day now. The only things to do in this stupid town are the library and the skating rink, and that costs money...

I really wanna make some friends too.