Facebook Anxiety?

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Yesterday I closed my Facebook account. It was only bringing me misery. I kept trying to connect with people, only to find out they weren't interested in me because they already "had enough friends". I tried some shier people and that still didn't work. Nobody ever wrote on my wall or commented on my statuses. I tried my hardest to be interesting and that failed. I wrote and posted photos on their walls. Nothing worked. I just couldn't get people to respond to me. It really depressed me to be gone 2 days and have only one notification, while people like my sellout ex got 20+ likes from the people who had earlier rejected me. Eventually I got tired of the shame of an empty wall and shut it down.

Facebook was just a reminder to me of how I repeatedly fail to make friends my own age. Does anyone else with a Facebook feel this way? Do you think I did the right thing shutting it down, and why do you think people weren't responding to me?

maybe you commented/messaged too much and overwhelmed them? Maybe they didnt know you well enough for adding or sharing info.

I close my account down every few days, I think that is probably normal for aspies to be a bit emo about face book.

these videos might have some hints

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-con ... n-facebook



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iROYzrm5SBM[/youtube]

I didn't have much going on mine for ages and ages. Maybe you're just barking up the wrong trees. Maybe the people you are trying to reach are wrong, or maybe the material you are trying to reach them with is wrong. I know that a lot of my interests are pretty obscure, and if I post on them, I won't get much interest.

I go back and forth from merely tolerating FB to hating it. Most of my "friends" are family members, and a few friends from long ago. I get sick of watching everyone interact, and when I post something or make a comment, it's a miracle if anyone even notices. The only reason I joined was because the leader of my Aspie support group started a page for us so that we could keep in touch. That isn't working out either. I get tempted to just close my account down, but it's the only way I can stay in touch with certain family members that I care about since they rarely call. So, this is how I feel about FB:

I closed my FB account almost a year ago due to similar reasons. It also made me feel bad so I figured closing it was the easiest thing to do to get away from that. I don't miss having a FB account although a few friends (actual friends, not just FB friends) have said they wish I was still on there....ok, ehhh.....whatever. There is always email (I know, sort of archaic these days) and texting; I don't like talking on the phone.

Since I got rid of my FB account I have spent way less time on the Internet in general.....I don't mind it at all, get a lot more stuff done.

You did the right thing, because facebook as a whole seems very superficial, at least to me. Often, people will have 600 friends but, in reality, only talk to around 10.

It can also make people such as you and I feel bad when we see friendships are closer and already established between people we'd like to get to know. It can be hard because that level of intimacy cannot be built up from facebook alone and by posting things.

When I deleted mine and began to use it for business purposes only, I became less self-concious and more confident about myself. `You would likely fare much better meeting people in real life by joining groups that you're interested in as the connections you can make through real life realtionsips are often more personal, and people are more likely to regard you as an actual friend rather than a name on a list.

There are days when nobody responds to me on facebook. I just think of it this way... I don't respond just to respond, so why would anyone else? Like someone else said, you could have been posting too much or sharing the wrong things.

It was your decision, though. I'm not going to say whether you were right or wrong because I'm not in your shoes.

I think you are putting to much thinking into it. Why did you open a FB account, to start with? Many people see FB as a popularity contest. I think af FB as a way to keep in touch with people it's very hard for me to see otherwise. I just post things I like: movie reviews, articles, recipes, pictures, feelings... if people comment or like them, that's Ok. But if they don't that's also Ok. I wanted to post them, but they do not have to like them or read them. The important here is YOU communicate. You cannot force people to do things. You cannot force them to read your stuff or comment on your stuff. I login to my FB account everyday. I read the newsfeeds everyday. I read all the posts from all my friends, but I do not always comment on them or like them. But I do read them.

I think you should not post different things for people to "like" you. I think you should be yourself, and people should love you the way you are. You just need to find people with your same interests. I have better relationships with my FB friends than with my real friends. Because with my FB friends I have interests in common.

If you reopen your FB account, you can add me as friend: ilka.zapata. Just send me the invitation along with a message to know it's you.

I just in-activated my FB account.

no facebook for me anymore either

I know what you mean. I have a facebook account because everyone else had one and used it to "re-connect" with people from high school that never talked to me. and the people that I do talk to don't bother posting anything on my wall or invite me to do something,

Nah, the hierarchy in facebook is identical to that in real life, duh.

If nobody paids attention to you in reality, nobody will in facebook. The story of my life

I use to get really upset with FB and almost deleted my account. Now I just don't care much. In some ways it's a good way to get in touch with people. I still to some degree get upset with my family members especially my sisters. They tend to leave me out of a lot of stuff and have friends galore replying and tagging them. I guess it in some ways it reminds me that I do have a life much different than the average neurotypical and that it is not ever going to be easy to make friends or socially engage in the same way as FBers and the rest of friendship hierarchy.

I have 459 friends on my account as I'm writing this, and I've come to quite enjoy 'collecting' friends. It probably sounds like a pointless endeavor, but given that I have a very limited amount of 'real' friends (most of whom I like to consider aquaintances anyway - that way I don't have to worry about whether or not they consider me their friends), Facebook seems to have become a sort of 'mental ineptitude replacement' for me.
It isn't like the question of whether or not Facebook-friends are 'real' friends has ever been on my mind anyway, because I consider my friends to be aquaintances (see above).

I despise facebook, but it does seem like you almost 'have' to have it nowadays. I avoided it for a while, but now in my degree others want to use it to stay in contact for projects, and we had to use it for an experiment (I study psychology). It all just seems so shallow and unsubstantial (conversation wise anyway). I think it just reflects my general disdain for small talk/gossip that some seem to thrive on, definitely prefer forums where you can have a decent thread of conversation.