Meltdown after Party

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I accompanied my boyfriend to a sort of reunion party yesterday. I slept poorly the night before, due to anxiety about the event. So this was the first ingredient in a recipe for meltdown. I had gone to the one last year, and felt that I had a good time, so I hoped that it would be alright.

The house that the reunion was held in, was smaller than last year, and it felt claustrophobic. There was a patio out back, where people sat and smoked so I couldn't go out there. (I get ill from second hand smoke.) People were being nice, but they all wanted hugs. I felt it would be rude to refuse them, so this added further ingredients to the meltdown pot.

There was this one woman there, who got drunk and kept laughing loudly like a hyena. Her shrill shrieks were like nails on a chalkboard. This drunk woman asked my boyfriend about some old pictures that he had been working on for the group, and when he told her he had made discs and would give her one, she gave him a hug. I didn't mind that, but as she got progressively drunker, she asked if he were married. He said no. Then she asked if he had ever been married. He said no never. I realized that she didn't know that we had arrived together, and that she assumed that he was alone. And my boyfriend, being an Aspie, didn't realize that he should tell her, at that point, that he was in a relationship. I figured that she would figure it out sooner or later, so I said nothing. There was another woman who was the girlfriend of one of the other guests, who was also drunk. She kept going around touching other women. She would start massaging their shoulders or patting their arms. This made me very nervous because I had to stay vigilant so that she didn't startle me with unexpected touching. Then the touchy feely lady joined a discussion where myself and two other ladies were talking about past surgeries. She lifted up her shirt and said "I got one of those." We asked her one of what? She then pushed the waist band of her pants down and while I still didn't see anything unusual, I did get a glimpse of pubic hair. Finding this disturbing, I walked away. Why do people behave that way?

We had been there for several hours. Whenever I tried to sit down alone and re-group, the host or hostess would come over anxiously inquiring if I was alright, did I want something, a drink, some food, etc. I had to keep assuring people that I was having a good time, blah blah blah. I realize now that I should have asked if I could go sit in a room alone, but they might have thought that was weird.

I told my boyfriend, after 5 hours that I wanted to go. I was desperate to leave. He kept getting distracted and not leaving. When we finally did leave, I melted down. When this happens, I cry. I cried a long time and when we got home, we had to have a talk about having a plan for going to social events so that it doesn't have to end that way.

Oh boy,
It sounded like you had a lot going on. However, I think if you are feeling over loaded and you haven't slept, then I would recommend talking to your boyfriend by mentioning that you didn't sleep very well and that you are still tired and that you don't feel like going to the party.

When feeling over whelmed, the best thing that you could do is go up to the host of hostess and then politely ask them if you could excuse yourself for a few minutes and then go for a walk in the neighborhood. That way you can go get some air and calm down until you feel better.

As for the woman who was taking her clothes off, she was drunk and drunk people do silly or repulsive things that they regret later on. If someone acts like that in the future, it might be wise to play along and think in my head, "She's intoxicated which can cause some inappropriate behavior.

Finally, having a meltdown sounds like a healthy thing to do after the party because you are getting those emotions out such as frustration with your boyfriend and with the party.

If I find myself stuck at a party, I hide in the bathroom or I go and sit outside in the car. If people act concerned and ask why, I tell them I have either a headache or cramps (bathroom = cramps, car = headache). I always keep books in the car, and a pillow and blanket and battery-powered lamp, snack and drink. People do find me a little strange and prone to frequent "headaches" but so far no one has banished me for being this way.

As for drunk people, they are prone to doing ridiculous and offensive things. I just attempt to physically keep a distance from them. If I become exhausted playing keep-away, off I go to the car. The car trick works better if you park a little distance away from the party house, so people won't feel tempted to keep popping out to check on you.

Good luck!

I also thought of something else and it may sound odd but I would recommend trying yoga before a party and maybe sipping a few calming teas to help you manage your stress levels. It sounds like you were stressed out as well as tired. Finally, taking a two hour nap can help you feel better before going to a party like that.

I think those will help you out in the long run because a party can be quite strenuous. On a side note, I might also suggest getting a squeeze machine like Dr. Grandin has which causes her to relax.

You found yourself some answers and some areas.