People who don't remember personal matters you told them.

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Doesn't upset you if a friend or so-called friend who completely doesn't remember (every time) a personal matter you told them earlier (and not by a long time ago)? Such as a crush or any other personal info. Like, "the family problem I told you about 2 days ago, him: hmm..what? I can't remember at all, what problem?). Specially when you remember everything they told you about.


For me, this just reflects an imbalanced level of mutual caring.

Aspies and NTs have different talents regarding memory. We don't process as much information--so we have a much better time of remembering what we do manage to process. NTs are so busy processing nonverbal clues that they don't have the ability to remember as much. This is made even worse by talking to someone who doesn't do well with non-verbal interaction--for us, this may be like talking to someone with a bad stutter. It is likely that how much they remember has nothing to do with how much they care about you.

No. I can never remember peoples' names. That's about the most personal thing about a person, so I can't really throw stones.

I follow the Golden rule when I deal with people "One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself".

Honestly, if you were an acquaintance that I talked with a lot ...for let's say for months (like we're almost turning into friends) yet you can't recall my name after all this time then I would certainly feel offended or at least...disappointed.

"I have Asperger's Syndrome", is just one of things that people don't remember me telling them.

You need a thicker skin then Everyone forgets colleagues names from time to time, or calls people by the wrong name. If you have a super memory, then congrats, but I know when I'm pre-occupied my attention goes out the window and I'll never remember a person's name first time because I'm stressed about meeting them. Often they don't tell you again, so you just need to keep an ear open to hear what other people call them..

Ive had that happen quite often, I dont take offense mainly cause I tend to overload people with information so I dont expect them to remember it. Yes one of the 1s that people have forgetten is that I have Aspergers Syndrome. My friend thinks Im a weirdo, and he forgot I had Aspergers syndrome. Im typically appreciative if someones willing to hear me out. There doing something for me.

I am not sure what you mean. Do you mean things like personal issues like losing a loved one or suffering a loss of a child or being in a car crash?

One of my autistic friends kept forgetting I lost a baby once but it never bothered me. But I can understand why it may upset others.

I do not much care if people remember things or not. My husband always has a lot going on in his mind so he tends to forget things I say even if they seem to be very important to me. I do not let it bother me because I can be forgetful as well even about things other people consider very important. If I were more able to retain all of the important information people tell me, it might bother me more, but the way I can be, I have no room at all to upset by it.

Honestly, I wouldn't really care if they did that, either. I would care more about whether the person is able to make interesting conversation and whether the reason for their connecting with me is more intellectual than anything else. The people who put the pressure on me to emotionally reciprocate in our relationship are the ones who make me the most uncomfortable, since emotional reciprocity is something that is entirely beyond my abilities for specific reasons that might not even be shared by others on the spectrum.

I totally know what you mean. I think in most cases If people don't remember the important personal stuff you've told them (Specially If you're really close to them), It's ok to get offended as you are sort of relying on them and Also, In your mind they are the "Special" people who you tell things that you would never tell anyone else.

I don't remember a lot of things people tell me, but it's not because I don't care. My memory is s**t and my ADD divides my attention.

This. Used to make me angry, but not anymore. Now I just keep amazing people with my memory, as when someone tells me something that is important to him, I remember it preciseley. I guess that's the reason why it used to make me mad, as there have been occasions where I told someone something that was important, and he or she forgot it a week later, and in the same instance, I said something like "Remember when you told me when...?" and they woule reply " Oh yeah, now that you mention it, but man, that was three years ago!" Just made me feel not important enough to them to remember something for a few days, while I recall their important stuff almost by word for years.

Yea, I know some people I have told that I have AS, and they have forgotten.

However, that is sorta helpful on that level.