How do I keep from being left out of conversations?

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I'm tired of this happening. Today I was starting to make a friend; we were eating lunch together and talking when a guy I knew from a class last semester and was sort of friends with asked to sit with us. We said that was fine, and over the next couple of minutes, he proceeded to expertly converse with my potential friend about things I wasn't interested in, like certain video games. They then kept talking to each other about a whole array of topics, ranging from driving in the snow to going to malls, completely ignoring me. I kept searching for things to say pertaining to the topic, but it would change so quickly that I never thought of anything in time, so I just sat there staring at them as they talked about everything under the sun. I eventually left, and they didn't even say goodbye; they just kept chatting. How do I join a conversation without sounding super awkward? I feel like I'm not "welcome" in their conversation anymore because I haven't said anything in such a long time, even though I desperately want to.

I have the same problem. The saying "two's company but three's a crowd" seems to be quite applicable. As far as a solution goes, I have no idea.

Neurotypical persons seem to like to bounce from topic to topic in loose fashion.

Actually, these two were inconsiderate and lacking in skill in not including you in the conversation. And yes, quote-unquote 'typical' persons can have gaps and patches in their skills, too, and it took me a long time to realize this. And of course, no human being is 'typical' or 'normal' or anything like that and how boring a place the world would be if they were!

One thing I learned playing poker is that if I like someone, I have an easier time reading them. So, perhaps staying open to loosely liking them without feeling that you necessarily must participate.

And pulling out your cell phone as kind of a fall back and a face saving gesture. And maybe just a very brief, 'Guys, I've got to go.'

One or both might feel a little bad for excluding you, and make more of an effort next time. Of course whether or not this happens depends on their maturity level.

Then a decision how to handle it,

option 1: 'oh, I was just a little distracted the beginning of the semester and all.'

option 2: 'well, now that you mention it, perhaps more of an effort.'

option 3:

option 4:

etc.

I'm sure other people can think of good options, too.

Speak louder, speak first, and monopolize the conversation,


Also,
Learn to be funny.

I know how to be funny. I have a great sense of humor. That doesn't do anything when you don't know what the hell to talk about.

In my experience, in situations like the one you describe, the people who left you out of conversation were probably not intentionally doing so. They just get one a stream of conversation and go back and forth too quickly for some of us folks who cannot think of something to say that quickly (I have the same problem - one of the reasons I prefer 1:1 conversation.)

I would try again with one or both people (hopefully individually). Don't write them off and think they just don't like you. Try starting conversations with them again, or if you see them say hello or respond when they do, etc. In short, continue to be friendly.

As far as how to keep from getting left out of conversations...I don't know. Often times, I sit on the sidelines and listen in on conversations and try to continue to make occasional eye contact with the person who is talking. It is rude, even in a group, to make it clear that you find the conversation boring. If you must leave, make an excuse. The phone is a good one...have a call to take/make. Or excuse yourself to be off to a meeting or an errand, etc. Say "It's been nice chatting/meeting up/sitting with you." It is NOT a lie.

I don't enjoy group conversations much at all. If I want to talk more with someone from the group, I might contact them later and say, "I enjoyed seeing you the other day but didn't get a chance to chat with you as much as I'd like. Would you like to meet up for coffee/lunch?" and then plan a time, which will make it sound like a private thing. My aim is to steer conversations to 1:1 settings.