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user1001
Sea Gull
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07 Jun 2011, 6:15 pm

I am a junior in high school and I desperately want friends or people to talk to. I have many acquaintances but no friends at all. I am never invited on the weekend and I am bored at home most of the time. I never talk to anyone on the phone or chat with people and I am mostly by my self depressed. I wish I had people to talk to but I don't I am mostly just home or on the computer most of my time staying at home. I don't have anyone to talk to and I want someone to talk to me. I get really jelous when I see friends hugging (sorry if that sounds corny) or talking to other people an I'm by my self, but other guys at my school do that a lot. I mostly stay at home and none ever calls or text me back. I wish I had someone to talk to but I don't know why I am so lonely. At lunch I would sit upstairs or in the library or walk around. After school I would be even more by my self. I wonder how can I make friends? I get really bored easily so I would stay in my imagination most of the time.



aliensyndrome
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07 Jun 2011, 6:37 pm

I know what you mean. Unfortunately, making friends is very difficult. It seems to happen by accident the vast majority of the time.



I_N_V_I_C_T_U_S
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07 Jun 2011, 8:22 pm

I know how that feels. I see people with strong friendships or romantic partners that like them for something more than a convenient person to go to when they need something and it feels bad and makes me wonder how they do it. I suggest making friends with other Autistic people? They might understand you better and might even be in the same situation you're in.



Jory
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07 Jun 2011, 8:52 pm

You can start by not calling me a hoe. :P

I'm clueless at this. I have no idea how to just approach people and make friends. The few people I know who aren't family members, I met online. The conversation that leads to us meeting in person typically goes like this:

Them: "Hey, we live in the same area. Cool, huh? You wanna meet and hang out?"

Me: "I might go to [location] tomorrow around [time]."

And then they show up and we meet. I never leave the house specifically to meet someone for the first time, it's just a "running into each other" situation.



Fatal-Noogie
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07 Jun 2011, 10:52 pm

My experience as an Aspie indicates that the best friendships are maintained thru collaboration/cooperation.
NTs can maintain frienships while having seemingly nothing in common.
When I hang out with NTs, I never know what qualifies as relevant subject to talk about.

If you're in a club (photography club, sports team, music ensemble, etc),
then you and your peers have a reason to know eachother and something to talk about.
If they know you, gradually they start to trust you. When they trust you, they (hopefully) invite you to parties & shindigs.

That's a reductionist assessment but it applies to my experience.


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Ilka
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08 Jun 2011, 8:58 am

Making friends is really difficult. When I was at junior high I used to look for lonely people like myself, then talk to them. "Hi. My name is ... How are you?" Is a good start. You can start telling them about yourself, and asking them about themselves. For example, talk anout the last movie you watched or the last book you read and then ask if he/she likes movies/books and what kind. You can do the ssme with other subjects/things you like. Show interest in what the other person say, and try to be possitive (restrain from negative comments or talking about the things you do not like, unless the other person starts). You can also search for groups of people with the same interests you have (readibg, sci-fi, video games, etc). Its easier to make friends w/peopke you share interests with.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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08 Jun 2011, 10:07 am

aliensyndrome wrote:
. . . It seems to happen by accident the vast majority of the time.

Yes, it's kind of the zen art of under-trying, of action by inaction. At the same time, you place yourself in a position where you can meet people.

Maybe political clubs and organizations or theater groups? As a way of increasing your chances of meeting fellow young people more on the creative side.



user1001
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09 Jun 2011, 11:28 pm

Sorry for the typo in the title.