hmm im not sure?

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I think this question may come off as stupid but i just have to know. Ill point out the scenario and example first, Your at school in the college library you see a really attractive beautiful girl that plays sports sitting next to you shes dressed up in either a mini skirt or really short shorts and she has a great body and is showing off her legs. Your natural response is to get aroused and to check her out. Now my question is morally is it wrong to ask her if you could touch her thighs or put your hands there ? I mean i know its sexual harassment if you touch her while with out asking or if you go up to any random girl that has short shorts on or a mini skirt and touch them. But is it sexual harassment for You to ask her if you can touch? Is it wrong to ask? Is it risky? Reason i ask is because i saw a really attractive girl and yesterday was my first day at school and i was sitting on the library computer checking my emails and i was there for a couple hours and she comes in with her group of friends and she sits right next to me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her but got too shy and screwed up. Now i want to know if this is offense to a woman in general just for even looking at her. I always wondered why do women wear such short shorts and mini skirts. And second of all whats worse Groping a womans breast? or touching her thighs. I thought groping is worse and is considared rape. Anyways im just curious its a hypothetical kind of question for me. I know it sounds stupid. Id prefer to hear a womans point of view on this.

Don't ask her, don't touch her. Odds are that if she wears such things, she's easy anyway. Act smooth, get a date, continue along, and eventually you will get there. It's slightly more wait, but significantly more fun. If acting smooth is difficult, just completely let go of the natural filter your mouth has and see what comes out. It could get you laid, it could get you slapped. The fact that you talked to her at all is more than I could do, so there is really no good reason to take my advice.

If you don't really know her that well, then asking something like that would probably go over very badly.

...And maybe I'm just interpreting this all wrong, but why would it be harder to strike up a normal conversation than to ask somebody if you can touch their thigh?

As a formerly attractive woman, I say don't ask anything like that in a library. Not in a workplace, not in class and not in any other serious setting. Especially if you don't know her very well. Not only is it possibly offensive, you may set off "assault" alarms. You don't know where she is from and she may assume you are dangerous.
Just because she is "showing off" her legs doesn't mean she is welcoming an advance. That's a myth and a very dangerous one. Whether or not she is "easy" is none of anyone's business unless she decides so.
The only time it's appropriate to ask something like that (and make sure you're not all that serious, you're just playing) is in a bar or coffee shop or somewhere that is for fun and flirting. And then only if she actively flirting with you.

Why is that? Why does a female need to be asking a male in order for him to be able to do something like that, but if a female came up to a guy and asked to touch him, it would be considered a sign of a really loose woman. Seems sexist.

I will on rare occasion dress provocatively and I would just about die if some guy asked me to touch my thighs "since I'm showing them off anyway" and having had my breast groped once I can assure you it feels horrible, horrible.

Don't ask a woman if you can touch her thighs unless she is willingly in bed with you!!

I think when a woman dresses like that she is either 1) following fashion 2) not thinking about it 3) letting you look, but not touch! So consider just the glimpse a gift.

But I didn't ask for the gift, nor do I want it. In some cases it is tantalizing and tormenting, and in others it is rather disgusting. I'd much prefer the gift taken back or traded in.

You shouldn't ask someone if you can touch her. She won't know if she wants you to touch her unless you touch her. Someone told me this once:

That's the best way to open a kiss, because if she wants to kiss you, you get to kiss and if she doesn't want to kiss you, you get to tease her and make her laugh.

I don't really worry about kissing or touching a girl because I just do it if I want to and she'll usually want to kiss/touch me as much as I want to do it to her and if I don't take the initiative myself, she'll do it herself (although that only works if girls really like you to begin with). You must touch them so they think that kissing you is natural.

You're doing good, however. Girls like guys who touch them confidently like it's no big deal. One thing to do is gradually build up towards more intense touching.

What you need to do is touch everyone when you talk to them. Some people naturally touch each other on the back of the arm quickly but smoothly as if they're not thinking about it. I've had girls who were interested in me just keep talking to me and touch my shoulder affectionaly or my arm within the first hour of meething them at school.

Once another guy told a girl friend (not romantic) of mine "I don't get Alex. He always seems to have girls around him. How does he do that?"

I really don't know the answer to that question. I've just always been confident and never had any approach anxiety or fear that a girl won't like me. Because think about it. There are billions of girls in the world. Tons of them like you, and if you assume that they like you, they'll like you even more. Instead of asking yourself "does she like me?" ask yourself "should i choose to have her?"

I know this probably goes against most of what you've been taught, but it's all true. I will frequently sit down next to a hot girl on the subway and have her touching me and stuff. Sometimes they ask for my number. I tell them I don't give it out to strangers and get them to give me their email so I'm the one who chooses to iniate the next contact, not them. Girls will just ask for phone numbers and never call them just for an ego boost.

If you do not know someone don't ask if you can touch their thigh.....they will think you are creepy. And they shouldn't be touching your thigh or asking to either. Get to know them, and not just a one time conversation in the library. My daughter is beautiful, but if some guy comes up and asks to touch her thigh???????No Immortalwarrior, you should never ask that of a stranger.

If you're going to, just ask to have sex with her anyway. Makes you sound decisive.

i meant in general i didnt mean asking a stranger i mean ill admit it was extremly arousing a bonerfying to be next to this really pretty jock dressed in short shorts but it really bothered me that she had to sit Right next to me theres Millions of computers that are empty that are available and she had to sit next to me in a way it was torchersome when i tried to talk to her to tell her that ( my space) was not working she wanted to whine about it because half the people at school all they do is bull s**t on their my space and make a huge deal about it. But i mean lets say your on a nude beach. If i saw a ton of nude women even if they are older i would be aroused. I mean i am attracted to all sorts of women ok the other day i was at the gym i met a 50 year old lady who was swimming in her bikini she had an absolutely sexy gorgeous body. Thats the first time ive said a 50 year old is sexy. She looks like shes about 35 she has no white hair and no wrinkles and shes married to this 25 year old guy. And she was asking me what i thought of her and stuff. It was a little painful having to check her out because it arouses me thats why i dont really like swimming pools although i love swimming if i see a woman in a thong or in a bikini i have to always look i cant help it. Sometimes i just want to put a hot poker in my eyes for looking. Because in a way i feel bad for looking because when i look i look with the eyes of lust and sexuality not for the attraction or the artisticness of it its because i desire and lust for sex. and i am still a virgin at 22.

No, don't ask to touch. Just don't. Especially in a library! Don't even look. You're going to have to know how not to look if you ever get married (or any committed relationship) anyway, might as well start practicing now.

If she sat beside you in an empty room with dozens of other places to sit, it's possibly an invitation to strike up a conversation - or maybe not. Maybe it's just her favourite spot or something. Who knows.

Personally, I would just say hi and then excuse myself and tell her I am going to go sit somewhere else cause she's too damn hot and I can't concentrate. Except that I'm married so I wouldn't even say that, I'd have to think of something else, maybe cough a bit and make like I had a contagious cold and then excuse myself. If you get up and leave as soon as someone sits down beside you it is considered very rude.

I think that's an excellent conversation starter! But what the hell do I know, I'm weird. She'll probably think you are too. If she digs weird, you're off to a good start.

Lol, you don't ask people if you can touch them, they'd probbaly call the police.

I'm not suggesting asking if you can touch them, I'm suggesting asking, "morally is it wrong to ask...?" What a great conversation starter! But, you know, I'm weird.