Letting people know you're not okay.

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The title says it all.... how do you do it?

i don't know. i've only done it once irl and that was because i had to

I don't tell them, they just seem to automatically know.

I don't. I bottle it up for years and become very mentally ill.

who do I have to tell and like anybody would care anyway.

It depends what it is I'm not okay about. If it is something I want to discuss or feel comfortable talking about, it inevitably comes about with NTs when they ask how I am.

I have separated from my husband and will be divorcing him. My RL friends are aware of it, but have been silent.

drop it into the next conversation. they might be unsure if it is ok to talk about?

They haven't talked to me at all. I've even sent an invitation to one and asked another if they were available. Nothing.

oh. are they worried about taking sides?

It's possible. They are my ex's friends, too.

No idea where you are from, but the English have a tendency to be polite and ask how you are with no real interest in the answer. You hear the phrase, 'Sorry I asked' trotted out when you do tell the truth and it happens not to be the response they expected. I've never worked that out. If we feel like utter sh*t, are we supposed to say 'I'm fine' just to please others? There's only one person I know who expects the truth when she asks how I am, but she lives over 300km away.

As for telling anyone in advance, 'Look, I'm feeling like sh*t, just leave me alone for a while/come keep me company/whatever', I'm at a loss. I know no-one I can do that with.

There's the easy assumption (not always correct) that any friends who will not offer support while you are going through a separation leading to a divorce, are probably not the friends you thought they were.

BTW, your signature. That's part of the lyrics to a song, I'm sure. But which song?

I usually don't say anything to anyone who matters....I probably should but I really don't know how to go about it. That may be why no one suspected I was suicidal until I attempted suicide because I was able to bottle it all up and eventually I felt like I could not handle it anymore. I am not doing that great now but I don't want people to worry I guess so I have been mostly keeping it to myself.

It's the same around here. I've taken to asking if people want the truth or just the standard "I'm good."


I think this may be partly my fault. I've never really done it before. Maybe they just aren't sure how to react? I'm also working under the assumption that there are specific rules for this sort of thing I'm unaware of.



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgcYfKw0_TI[/youtube]

make an anonymous blog and link friends to it who you want to share with. Or send them an email it can be easier saying things in an email.

Ive never found friends helpful in break up situations, they tend to make me feel worse. I find it hard to talk about my feelings and feel extra bad if the talking doesnt work out well (ie if people are snotty/unsympathetic). I find with break up it can be best to journal/blog and work through the feelings on my own. Try to make your day full so your busy and distracted and add in lots of nice things, try to be your own best freind and do things for yourself that your 'dream' best friend would do.

I found this book very helpful
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Heal-Move-Seven ... 1408802600

I don't know either, if that's any consolation. One of my neighbours once told me, 'You are not a very happy person are you? You are a nightmare to chat to.' That floored me. It made my mood so much darker than it already was. So, I'm with TeaEarlGreyHot on this one. Now, I ask what response people want and some don't like that at all. But telling anyone 'I'm fine' when I'm not just makes it all so much worse.

There is one thing though, sweetleaf. I find this place incredibly calming. I can be honest. I don't have to pretend when I'm here. I don't have to make excuses for who and what I am. That, in itself, has done me more good than I ever imagined.