My friend is a real b***h...

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I have this friend who is diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. SHe was telling me about some of the things she deals with and I had suspected that she might have AS. So I told her to take the Aspie quiz. She goes through and then finishes and she was like, "Neurotypical Thank f*****g God" and I'm thinking, "okay that's a little offensive". So I told her that being autistic wasn't that bad for me.

and she said this:

I know that
Jeez >__>
I just don't need anymore things on top of my ADHD
Especially since I can't take meds for my ADHD

It was on Facebook chat and it just made me a little offended because of the way she had said it at first. I mean here I'm trying to help her and all of a sudden she's got this really snappy attitude about it. I mean she exhibits a few traits of AS but I don't think she has enough that covers an actual diagnosis. It just bothers me.

Why are NTs like this when you try to help them? Is this normal for them to be this way?

But my other friend, the rude one, her name is Angel... she just... ugh. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't even want to understand my boundaries. She IMs me randomly on facebook chat and I'm talking to other friends. It alarms me because I don't expect it. Then she just keeps talking and expecting me to respond... and once I tell her that I don't want to talk right now she is all, "But I just want you to answer my question..." and I get so frustrated that my brain locks down.

She's also known for calling one of my best friends, who is like a big brother to me, a stupid ex... or stupid. Because he is her ex-boyfriend. But she is very obsessive and she broke up with him. He loves someone else and doesn't even love Angel... yet she is always making a big deal about him. It's like she doesn't care how others feel.

I still think she shows signs of AS... maybe full-blown but she just doesn't want to except it. I get so pissed at her that at times I am logging off facebook chat and then I don't know when my boyfriend gets on... or the friends actually LIKE talking to.

What do you think I should do?

Let me see if I understand you correctly: You have a friend who doesn't want to have Autism and considers it a good thing that she doesn't have another psychological condition and you think this is bitchy NT behavior.

Then you have another friend who messages you when she sees you're online and actually tries to chat with you via a chat system. Then she has the pure audacity to not like her ex-boyfriend. You think this is bitchy AS behavior.

I think you need to chill.

Those sound like pretty NT responses for people between their late teens and early-mid twenties. I think of a bitchy NT as someone who purposefully tries to create problems to gain attention and uses their neg. attitudes to control situations. Most NT's I've met are pissy at their exes and a lot of people don't like the idea of not being "normal" let alone being mixed syndrome.

This might sound mean but we're the last people you should be asking social skills advice on, though this friend seems like she has social skills problems too.

Tell her..hmm
tell her she should not msg you for a social chat more then twice a day and only msg you more then that for emergencies or a very quick comment/question. That way you'll be able to tend to her better.

Or just stay off facebook when you don't want to talk.

I think you need to chill.

I don't understand why you think she is NT when she has ADHD? ADHD is ND too but in a slightly different way. Just as you might struggle with social things, so does she. But maybe you like to talk to one person at once and she probably doesn't get that, she might like to talk to several people at the same time and doesn't get why you don't. As for the friend of yours, he's your friend, her ex, its not surprising that you see it in a different way. Maybe you should make him a topic you don't talk about. Maybe you can talk to your boyfriend on a different chat program and then she won't now if you are online?

I can DEFINITELY understand where you're coming from, but I think I agree with wefunction in that this is normal behaviour.

I mean, I was so hurt when me and my ex split and I was angry to boot, and to get it out of my system and move on I bitched like hell and back about him for a few weeks. I also randomly talk to people when they're online.

About the online thing on FB - can't you seperate your contacts into specific groups, and click 'offline' on the groups you don't want messages from?

But I agree, about the AS, that can be quite offensive... Some people don't understand it's a difference not a disorder. (Although it does cause problems! )