WP is weird.

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It's weird how this section is poorly active compared to L&D, Adult, Women, members and Random sections.

Every time I post a thread here, I regret it later (due to a very poor posting) and wish if I tweaked its context a bit so I can post it in the L&D.

"Social Skills and Making Friends" is supposed to be a core area that aspies struggle with, yet I never sensed it is the case on WP. I rarely hear members complaining or talking about their struggle in interpersonal skills and in having and maintaining friends.

Sometimes I feel I am one of the very few members who struggles in that area.

Just take a look at the current numbers:

The L&D has 9459 threads and 250816 posts (I guess this includes the OPs too)

The Adult section has 4957 threads and 229073 posts

The heaven has 9048 and 149300

While this section has 5478 threads but only 74109 posts - very poor replying rate, if you browse through the pages here , you would notice that there a lot of thread not replied at all or with one reply, yet the subjects aren't less important and even more unique than the repetitive threads in L&D and adult sections.


So what's the issue, 'aspies'?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 28 Nov 2011, 6:02 pm, edited 4 times in total.

I have little desire for friends.

I have NO desire for friends.

I do. I'm one of them. And i'm probably not even an aspie.



People would rather have love than friends.

People would rather want what they lack.

LOL it's true I don't like having many relationships because I feel guilty about not maintaining them. I have trouble enjoying the same social situations as the friends I've made. I'd rather sit at my computer and complain in general discussion about how much life sucks with AS rather than try and up keep friendships outside the internet because being in public places gets too stressful. Actually I complain more about my social problems in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions because I feel my social problems are more related to psych issues. Maybe I should be paying more attention to this Forum.

The counselor that deals with my AS says almost all his male clients complain about being single, which makes me hesitant to go to the gathering for my age group because I heard it's a real sausage fest. I'm scared rather than making friends I'll be pestered for a relationship. I was actually advised not to go by another female. I can understand why aspies are more desperate for relationships. It's easier to maintain one close relationship than many casual ones. It's a self esteem booster too. I dated several aspie guys though and they really didn't know what to do while in a relationship which killed it for me because my needs weren't being met. Though I didn't do much better with NT guys. I found Aspie guys are too clingy and NT guys pull hit and quits. I'd rather not be in a relationship at this point, unless Mr. right appears.

Last edited by Angel_ryan on 28 Nov 2011, 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

By your reckoning aspies tend to lack both.

So why is L & D popping and this place is a ghost town? That's your question, aye?

I can only surmise that people priorities love and relationships because they are more important to them.

You find that people who get into relationships put their friends on the backburner or forget about them almost completely.

This all makes sense to me, but might not be absolutely true.

Yes, exactly.



That's a one good explanation.

For some reason, I knew what this topic would be about as soon as I read the title. I have observed it, too.

Anyway, my greatest problem right now is how I feel like I am always out of place, as if I were from another planet (I feel I do not fit even here on WP). Arguably, the solution for that would be getting some friends (I do have some good friends, but I never feel 100% "connected" to them: I am too weird and they are too "normal"). But I think a relationship would be a better solution because it seems.. stronger than friendship. Supposedly, it would require that both parties involved think alike, which is exactly what I am looking for right now.

Thanks

sex sells

People believe that having a partner will complete them, fix them, make them whole and happy.
Friends are cool, but they can't compete with that promise.

From another standpoint:
Not being able to attract a mate severely impacts the average person's self esteem and thus well being. Not having (good) friends is also bad, but less severe (and it's easy to fake having friends or to "have friends" a.k.a. people you run across every once in a while so it's enough to calm your mind, but close to impossible to fake a relationship).

Pretty much everyone has this deep and urgent craving to complete him/herself because they feel they're not enough. This is even more prevalent among people who perceive themselves as weak or at a disadvantage. They are especially eager to "make up" for their perceived deficiencies.

It sure does, I've sold several sacks full today

also (for me anyway) relationship = best friend anyway.

you filthy mare

good point em. if other people here are like me they can exist quite happily with just one good friend anyway, infact many more often becomes a hinderance(don't mean to be rude)...perhaps seeking a mate is simply more efficient as it would fully satisfy both their romantic and platonic needs all in one. result- priority of l&d = > ss&mf(i got lazy)

Why take two bottles into the shower?