Please Help, I'm so lost.

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Hello Wrong Planet forums

I come to you today as a brand new member who was directed here after a long battle with my feelings and diagnosis. To clarify I was directed here by my mother after I asked her where to go for insight on my diagnosis of aspergers. After so many months of trying to avoid this place i felt that my feelings that I've wrapped wrestled with for a while now have left me with little alternatives to try and quell the maelstrom inside.

To begin, I've always felt isolated and awkward since toddlerhood, as is apparently common amongst those with it I hardly played with others I had fixed interest was nigh mute and baffled family and peers. As I grew along with my emotionally abusive father my discontent grew, I felt frustrated by my mental blocks and lack of ways to communicate with peers.What hardly helped was what I thought was finally a group of friends I thought were true but I slowly and sorely came to realize I had little in common with and they had little interest in my actual being. My parents eventually separated which brought it's own stressor but it was for the better. My mother quit her job to start her own business and I went to college. I thought it would be prime to start a new away from the sleepy town I grew up in. Initially though a rocky start I felt finally whole. Many to talk to and no feelings of otherness and isolation. Cracks began to show once more as I felt little involvement in my new associates lives. I began to feel them drift away and I had no clue what to do. I wondered alone for many days wondering and hoping I'd find a lasting companion but it was not meant to be. I soon moved to a new dorm which seemed like a good idea but quickly became a mistake as I felt more isolated than ever. My cries of deep pain and isolation took its toll and my mother took me back into her home and I returned back to my sleepy hometown. A positive point, soon after returning a business contact of my mother's reached out to my brother and I to create something for his company and we revieved a handsome amount of funding for it. However this pain gaws still and now with my trappings at my home with no where to go and almost nothing to do, when things are finally looking up I still feel so down. I literally can't leave my house most days and I'm so self conciousness about my social skills I feel unconfident in my ability to make lasting relationships after my failures of yore. My mother the wonderful woman she is tries to set up therapy appointments and such but in our current positions and locations it's very difficult to find support or help for those like us especially peers od mine. Sometimes I wonder If I should have stayed in college.

Now after my funding had petered out a bit with my next stipend a ways away, and my mother's business faltering due to economic changes in the industry she worKS in, myself and my family feel the pressure and gloom more than ever and I try to keep my spirits up but know with my emotions and worries so large I just want to talk to feel good and talk. That's all I want. Please someone. I'm so sick of being stuck I'm so sick of lonely sobs.

Please I'm so lonely and lost. Can somebody provide some conversation or comfort please?

Hello to you and I'm sad to hear your pain.

Many of us struggle with social isolation and loneliness. Social skills and interacting with NT folks can be difficult.

Please, keep coming here and reading through the different forums.

You are not alone when you are here.



PS I'll be back to check on you and talk. Hang in there.

hi. what was your college major? mine was biology.

Thank you all for replying.

My major in college was called "Arts and Technology". Basically means video games and other electronic media

I think you'll find that many people here on WP share your concerns.

Well I would usually consider myself an entrepreneur first and an artist second. So far in my current life state its very difficult to find solace in things like conversation as I am so isolated. I've never really had a lasting relationship with peers and now more than ever its difficult to find those in a similar boat to share my conversations with. Unfortunately my hometown doesn't lend itself very well to activities and such especially not those geared towards those my age.

Im still not feeling so well. I had a huge toothache the past days and now a massive headache. Im feeling a bit discouraged more and more it seems. I feel a bit overwhelmed and all I want really is some reassurance, I feel so alone and lost still. Recently I even ran across an innocuous video on Youtube and two people briefly hugged for a second and a half but for some reason I felt myself rewinding and watching it over and over and I just felt a huge pain shoot out of my body as I realized I haven't been touched in a comforting reassuring way in many many days and I almost felt like crying. Now, with what seems like my resolve slowly slipping that seems to be all I can focus on. Maybe that would make things better. I just want to feel warm and not alone.

sending you a virtual hug.

I understand feeling like there are all these things you want out of like that "normal people" have and getting depressed about it, and its a bad feeling. I know exactly how you feel with the weird shooting feelings when you feel like you are deeply missing out on something. You have to realize that feeling like how you do right now won't last forever and that dwelling on it just makes it worse. Yet on the flip side you will always feel different from NTs and you also need to accept that, you are not an NT, and you can't beat yourself up for not being exactly like one. Take small steps towards whatever it is you want, if you have the means to, then do it.

Hopefully that helps a little?

Everyone you're missing is in there. Quiet yourself enough and they're audible.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Another virtual hug coming your way.

A very warm welcome to Wrong Planet! I'm sorry you're feeling so down, but you've come to a good place. Many people here will identify very closely with your situation, so as other posters have said, you are certainly not alone. If you don't get quick responses here, please don't think you've said something wrong or that we don't like or care about you. It's just the nature of the site.

You obviously have talent and a few opportunities, so make the best you can of all you have. In the meantime, keep visiting the different forums and gradually get to know people. If you'd like a chat, by all means send me a pm.

Hugs.

Hi, I don't know how to comfort others well but I hope you feel well soon hugs