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How to make friends without joining a club

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ocdgirl123
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08 Jul 2011, 6:12 pm

I'm in high school and was wondering how I could make friends without joining a club. I tend to feel anxious in club settings because I don't find them very structured, and I notice that people will often invite friends to the club, and aren't interested in making friends with the other club members. There aren't a lot of interesting clubs at my school either. Most of them are sports teams, and I don't think I'd make the tryouts, I'm not very good at sports and tend to get anxious when playing them.

Has anyone had any success making friends without joining a club?

Oh, I'm not really supposed to wander around the school alone, I need to have an adult with me at all times. I think they want me to eat my lunch in a separate room. I don't really like the cafeteria anyway, because it's loud and chaotic, and there are bullies in that area. I don't do very well with bullies.



chrissyrun
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08 Jul 2011, 9:34 pm

ocdgirl123 wrote:
I'm in high school and was wondering how I could make friends without joining a club. I tend to feel anxious in club settings because I don't find them very structured, and I notice that people will often invite friends to the club, and aren't interested in making friends with the other club members. There aren't a lot of interesting clubs at my school either. Most of them are sports teams, and I don't think I'd make the tryouts, I'm not very good at sports and tend to get anxious when playing them.

Has anyone had any success making friends without joining a club?

Oh, I'm not really supposed to wander around the school alone, I need to have an adult with me at all times. I think they want me to eat my lunch in a separate room. I don't really like the cafeteria anyway, because it's loud and chaotic, and there are bullies in that area. I don't do very well with bullies.


You should join cross-country, there are no cuts!
I did that sport all of high school, and though it is hard work (because it is)....it is so much fun and rewarding.
Also, don't say that you can't run...I used to run a 13:30 mile and was 4th to last in the mile (in 7th grade) and I recently completed my first marathon....it is just something you have to work at.

If you have any questions about running, don't hesitate to PM me! Or about cross-country.



ocdgirl123
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08 Jul 2011, 11:27 pm

It's the competition that makes me anxious. I can do long distance running just fine, also I might not be allowed to join a sports team. My parents would worry about me and the school may say "no" because I have an IEP.



chrissyrun
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08 Jul 2011, 11:45 pm

ocdgirl123 wrote:
It's the competition that makes me anxious. I can do long distance running just fine, also I might not be allowed to join a sports team. My parents would worry about me and the school may say "no" because I have an IEP.


You don't have to worry about the competition, you just have to try your best.
Well, it doesn't have to ask. And the parents worrying thing is normal, try to do little things that might persuade them to letting you join.
Really, it is so much fun. I would have died in high school without it.



jojobean
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09 Jul 2011, 12:29 am

take up a facinating or talented hobby then all the focus goes from your AS to your talent...that worked well for me. After joining artist ciclres, I became esentric thus alot cooler than just weird.


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ocdgirl123
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09 Jul 2011, 12:33 am

I don't have a talent. :(

I don't find running fun, I can do it, but it's not fun for me. Why would I do something that I didn't find fun, that I am not required to do?

Chances are, I wouldn't make the tryouts. I was the only one who didn't make the try-outs in grade 4 for a long distance running thing.

I don't really want to join a club, is there any other ways to make friends?



chrissyrun
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09 Jul 2011, 12:41 am

ocdgirl123 wrote:
I don't have a talent. :(

I don't find running fun, I can do it, but it's not fun for me. Why would I do something that I didn't find fun, that I am not required to do?

Chances are, I wouldn't make the tryouts. I was the only one who didn't make the try-outs in grade 4 for a long distance running thing.

I don't really want to join a club, is there any other ways to make friends?


Sad. =(

Ok, I was just saying it as a suggestion...plus some people grow to love it. I used to hate it when I was younger, then I joined xc for conditioning (I thought I could make the basketball team, boy was I wrong) I fell in love with the sport

You could though! It is a no-cut sport!

Um, you could go to a church group?



ocdgirl123
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09 Jul 2011, 1:03 am

I'm not very religious. I'm actually "on the fence" in terms of religion.



Amajanshi
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09 Jul 2011, 5:18 am

ocdgirl123 wrote:
I'm in high school and was wondering how I could make friends without joining a club. I tend to feel anxious in club settings because I don't find them very structured, and I notice that people will often invite friends to the club, and aren't interested in making friends with the other club members. There aren't a lot of interesting clubs at my school either. Most of them are sports teams, and I don't think I'd make the tryouts, I'm not very good at sports and tend to get anxious when playing them.

Has anyone had any success making friends without joining a club?

Oh, I'm not really supposed to wander around the school alone, I need to have an adult with me at all times. I think they want me to eat my lunch in a separate room. I don't really like the cafeteria anyway, because it's loud and chaotic, and there are bullies in that area. I don't do very well with bullies.


My success with making friends outside a club was only by pure luck in terms of who I meet at Uni. I find it much easier to meet people who I get along with at clubs that are related to my Special interest. I guess that certain clubs are more unpredictable and unstructured than others depending on the interest. But for clubs that are related to Board Games, such as Chess or Scrabble, then I think it is more structured at the very least because of the game itself which has fixed rules, and also coz you have to spend your time thinking during the game, so there is less opportunity for random chit-chat. There is still a bit of talking before playing the game, but this is more of a nicety and can be learned at an intellectual level by HFA/Aspies.



ocdgirl123
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09 Jul 2011, 1:11 pm

There are no clubs for my special interest. Well, it's a band and there is a "fanclub". Sometimes, before concerts, fans will meet up at a bar or pub, I'm underage so can't do that.