Activity vs. reactivity in Aspie conversation

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Keeno
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06 Jul 2011, 6:38 pm

Like every Wednesday night and some other nights, I have a night out with a group of other Aspies. Often, a curious thing happens in these groups conversation-wise.

Some Aspies are active, or proactive and are able to make conversation (often, I'll admit, about special interests, and the more passion about that interest the more conversation). While some Aspies are reactive, or passive, and so are better when spoken to and responding.

Tonight, when one member of the group went home who was the type able to be active in conversation and so keeping a flow going, three of us reactive Aspies were left. For the remainder of the time we were together, over an hour, there was virtually no conversation.

This is not like a situation I'd maybe find myself in with an NT, where I have nothing to talk about with the person, and vice versa, to try to connect, and we have nothing in common. Here, there is a common bond, and there is no disconnect, it is just without any conversation or the abilit to be proactive at it.

Just thought this was a notable thing that can happen among Aspies.


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kahlua
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07 Jul 2011, 6:44 am

There seems to be 2 types of aspies. Those that don't know when to shut up, and those who rarely say a word.

There are both types at the aspie meetings I've been to. I belong to the rarely say a word group. Maybe if there were 2 or 3 people, but no way when there is 20+

One of my goals is to force myself to try and say something. I get all panicky just thinking about saying something. (pulse goes up, face starts going red, adrenaline starts flowing etc)



anneurysm
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07 Jul 2011, 8:02 am

I've noticed the two kids of Aspies too, and I find it interesting too to watch the two types interact. I've even given them names: the "shy/avoidant" and the "active yet odd" personalities.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.