I think I know where my fear of confrontation stems from

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And no posting criticism like "but that happened YEARS ago, get over it!" I don't find that very helpful.

But anyway, when I was 5 I accidentally pulled a chair back just as the teacher's assistant was about to sit down, and she fell down. And before I could see what I had unintentionally done, the teacher yelled at me so loudly, that the whole class went quiet. I kind of walked backwards as this ogre of a teacher was shouting and pointing at me, with a really angry face. I was frightened. Really frightened. I cried but the teacher didn't care. I can't quite remember what happened for the rest of the school day, but I remember at home time the teacher taking my hand and saying "I'm going to tell your mummy what you did today". And even then, in my little 5-year-old mind, I was thinking "please, it was an accident, now Mummy's going to be upset with me". I was too young to speak up for myself and say that it was an accident. And yes, the teacher told my mum, and my mum was angry at me.

That is a vivid memory I have of a horrible experience of confrontation as a small child, and that feeling has stayed with me ever since. And I think that is why I get so upset and anxious when confronted loudly in front of lots of people. Especially being falsely accused.

Has anyone else experienced something so unpleasant in your childhood that you will never forget, and it still makes you anxious to this day if it happened again?

I totally understand. I was thinking about this the other day. I didn't express myself clearly enough to a teacher when I was 4 or 5 and instead of helping me express myself clearly she snapped at me and sent me to think of something more appropriate to say. I had no idea what I'd done wrong.

I think that stayed with me. The reason I was thinking about this was because I wanted to ask my boss for the day off next week and I was thinking over and over in my head how to phrase it. I was thinking why is this such a confrontational thing to me. He's not going to say no. I needed to ask a friend for a really easy favour last week too and I had to really work myself up to do it.