Being witty with condescending people

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Last night, I attended a singles ministry at my synagogoue which just started while I also happen to be new there. So, I am trying to get to know some other people who I can associate with. I introduced myself to one of the people who claims that they had met me more than once and had a very unfriendly attitude with me. She also seemed to be very condescending by correcting me on absulutely everything and acting as if she knew better.
For example, of the people there happened to be wearing a shirt that said had to do with an organization that for people with AS and so I was curious. I said, "Hey, what is that?" However, the woman with the attitude blurted out "Asperger's- A form of high-functioning Autism." I replied to her by mentioning, "Oh I know what Asperger's Syndrome is since I have it." I had wanted to slap her, yell at her, and ever curse at her but I know it would have sinking to her level. I also decided that confronting her would not be worth it since it probably prove that I am the one who is arrogant and not her.

So, I would like top get some tips about being witty without offending people like that but also making them laugh.

Tips for being witty? You have to be a witty person. If you are trying to say witty things just for the purpose of getting back at someone, it won't work. Saying witty things works if you focus on yourself. You have to enjoy being witty, and you have to see the world a certain way. Comics say funny things, but comedians see funny things.

Also it's a lot easier to be witty if a person isn't bothering you. Being witty is impossible if you aren't thick-skinned.

Okay thanks for the tip. However, she did annoy me. I cannot stand people like this who make you feel bad if you don't exactly get things write on their terms and she was one of those types. I also have a cousin who acts like that and talks to me as if I am a know nothing as she always has since she was 7. I don't want to say anything just to make her mad and that is my whole point. I want to find something funny that will work for her and for myself.

Theres nothing better than just being yourself. Then you cant go wrong, and its also very natural. People will either like you for who you are, or dislike you for who you are, but you can never get everyone to like you as all personalities are different and sometimes they conflict.

If you come across someone who you conflict with, best just smile nicely and keep your distance, and spend time getting to know those who get on with you instead.

I have a brother who can snap out a witty or amusing comment with no thought. Often, our mother would fly into rages. My brother would get this exaggerated look of fear on his face and pretend to be ducking for safety. Mom would end up laughing.

Sometimes I can deflect negative people, but it depends upon who it is and under what circumstances. I had someone act rude and superior at a recent reunion that I attended with my fiance. But I understood what was eating her! My fiance told me that years ago, when they were teens, that she had a major crush on him, but he was not interested in her. He told me that she would act jealously around whomever he was dating at the time. So, apparently she hasn't changed, which is pathetic. And all she did was make herself appear petty and foolish in front of my fiance. After one attempt to joke with her, I decided to just ignore her. Maybe that's all you can do with people like that.

I was talking to someone else about her when leaving the singles gathering last night who is a close friend of hers but I did not talk bad about her but happened to mention that I felt like she didn't seem to like me that much and I seemed to get on her nerves. I also mentioned that she got on my nerves with the condescending attitude. He said that she happened to have migraines the majority of the time and did not feel good also mentioned that some people can only take others in minor dosages and that we seemed like that type.

I also noticed that this woman appeared to be insecure since she is very obese while I am so thin. This behavior was scene when everyone was going around introducing themselves and talking about where they went to or are currently going to school. Everyone seemed to clap for me while she looked down and pouted and made a huff when she found out that the two of us happened to go to the same University. Yet, she was as nice as can be towards other people while completely shutting me out or often making fun of me.

I talked to a few other members of the singles group and they told me also that you will always have people like that who will decide that they don't like you for whatever reason. They also told me to keep my distance and talk to other people who are interested and enjoy myself.