How can anyone have no friends?

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From all the threads I've read on here, I've felt puzzled that many people here claim to have few friends. I have quite a bit and my social skills aren't that good.

I mean, on this planet, in the country, in your immediate area, there has to be at least one person who is entertained by your presence. It just seems unlikely that a person doesn't have a connection to at least somebody.

Oh dear, Riley. You are going to make a lot of sad people with this post. You just have to believe that we have different experiences and different kinds of reactions, and some of us, because of abandonment or illness or a move that didn't work out or who knows, don't have friends at the moment. Some of us have inadvertently burnt all our bridges.

This isn't question of legitimacy.
But rather my own pondering.

But if people have different experiences, then why are the stories the same?
Is the world that small?

And rather, why would someone just abandon you? I've known people for years and they're still with me. Again different strokes, but always the same story.

Maybe it's like the saying “Every happy family is the same, but unhappy families are all different." Or maybe that's just a clever-sounding line.

My mother had a friend when she young, who had 'buck teeth.' She went to a matchmaker and was set up on 26 dates, but not one of the 26 men, after meeting her, wanted a second date. Then she got her teeth fixed, and only needed 2 more dates to eventually end up married. Now maybe the teeth had nothing to do with it, but... well they probably did. Maybe the world is small, in terms of people having very common reactions to certain things. It's sad that someone's future could be so effected by 2 teeth, but that is the way of the world.

Dude, I wouldn't make assumptions about others based on yourself. Not everyone is like you. In fact, everyone is different. Just because you entertain people doesn't mean others here want to or do.

spend three minutes with me face to face and you will wonder why i am even friends with myself..

when you spend your whole elementary years hanging around the teachers, and during middle school you make friends but they abandon you because you're too immature and ignorant on subjects that were being brought up like dating and such and then you observe others getting in trouble and you think that's how you get people to like you so you act out and you think you're funny but you're not and you make a fool of yourself so no one likes you and when you get to highschool you can't handle the environment and everyone's already formed their cliches so you're invisible and then you can't even attend school so your stuck at home friendless.

Riley, you are curious how people here can claim to have few friends ...

I went through college without making a single friend. I would go to school every day with the intention of building a friendship. I would try to sit by people or go where people would be (anxiety wasn't an issue), but I could never capitalize on the situation. I could sit in the middle of classroom surrounded by 100 people on the first day of class and spontaneous conversations would spring up all around me, invitations would be extended and friendships would be formed. None with me. I always ate alone, studied alone and spent weekends by myself. I didn't exchange a single telephone number or have a single telephone conversation with anyone from college.

People were nice to me and I was alway nice back. I looked and dressed quite average and probably blended in on that basis. I was self aware and knew what I had to do to make friends, but could never pull it off. I put so much energy into psyching myself up to be more sociable, but I just couldn't read or deliver social cues or keep up socially. For example, someone would say "hello" to me and it would take few seconds for it to register in my mind (if I even noticed at all), I would then try to remember the person's name, determine whether they were really talking to me and then formulate a response by which time the moment and the person had long passed.

All of this was going on in my head, but it never translated into expressive action. I would often notice on a Saturday that I hadn't spoken a single word to a single person the entire week. Most people can't make it 5 minutes into the week without speaking and they do so without trying. I would devote large amounts of mental energy to my socializing and end up not saying a word. When I did have a rare conversation, I couldn't build a connection with the person and I would miss later oppportunities to strike up a second conversation.

I think the really unfortunate thing is that we are such great people but many of us just don't know how to fit into the social world. In many ways I wonder how many others like myself were out there during my college and high school years that I could have known, but they were just as uncomfortable socially as I was, and I never connected with them.

I think I probably missed out on knowing people like all of you, and I think the world is less rich because many of us can't seem to immerse ourselves socially the way many NTs can. This is not meant to be egotistical, elitist, or aspie arrogance, but I do think people are missing out not knowing people like us.

For me...I didn't bother keeping in contact with friends from school because I didn't like the way they excluded me at the beginning. Even when I was friends with them, they didn't treat me with respect. E.g. I'd be in their way, they'd shove me out of the way and shout "MOVE". This boy who stood up for me at the time, years later tried to shut my hand in a car door, so I stopped contact with him.

I went to a college for people with Aspergers...a lot of them there were very immature and had no manners. A boy there used to push me out of the way too. The others just laughed when I had a big panic attack, so I left (for other reasons too). I kept in touch with one guy, Josh...who was far more mature than the others. He went to Uni in Canada, so we lost touch. Then, I went to the college I currently go to. Everybody there respected me. I made friends with one guy called Ben (who happened to have AS) and he's now moved on.

Currently, in my Geography A level class I feel I have nothing in common with people younger than me (4 years younger). I find I'm happier to sit there at break times and read a book rather than socialise. I do talk to people though. As for my Psychology class, I study that at an adult college. I can talk to the people there, but they're a bit old (40s/50s age group) to really be friends with.

I think my social life is getting better. Most of my friends I talk with are online, on Facebook and MSN, and this website called Aspie Village. I know a few people who live in the Midlands who I sometimes see face to face. I can now talk with strangers, and in groups of people.

Learning2Survive...you can't tell everyone what you think, because they either don't understand, find it boring or become offended.

You know, just because you don't smoke, drink, party, or have promiscuous sex does NOT make you a cooler or nobler person.