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cyberfox007
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20 Jul 2011, 6:24 pm

I have recently been going to concerts, the movies, out on the town etc. just by myself and no one else. I do it mostly to get out the house and get away from the PC/video games abit. I sometimes tag along with friends but if only i get an invite or if i ask if there is any extra room for me to tag along. I usually don't ask my friends that much if they ever want to hang out with me. I think mostly because that i am expect the "i am too busy" response or some other lame excuse. Now that i am done school, i am trying to find ways to improve my social edge. this is something that i feel i have ignored for the longest time and something i wanna fix since it has much wide reaching implications. I will admit, it does hurt me that i get do go some goof stuff but i end up having to doing it alone

Another side to this is there are times where i wanna go out but i spend more time trying to figure out where to go than rather than actualy going out and as result, i shut myself from the rest of the world. I feel as if there is little to no venues where i can go in my town with a friend to have a good time. Most of the time on friday/saturday nights, i usually shut my self in wondering where i could go and i kill of my evening playing video games or watching TV where i could go out and become the social animal that we are programed to be. I still wanna do some fun stuff before i get old! (No, not having a mid-life crisis)

Any thoughts on these two contrasts in my social behavior and how i should correct them?



Radiofixr
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20 Jul 2011, 6:37 pm

I go through the same thing all the time and end up just like you sitting around wondering what I could do-its very frustrating I totally understand what you are through-I would also love to know how to cope also.


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SammichEater
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20 Jul 2011, 10:58 pm

It's not very often that I feel like this. I can't wait to get back home tomorrow and play video games in my nice quiet room all day long. I've been staying at the beach here since Monday morning, and although it's been fun, I need time to myself. I usually feel like I never get enough, especially with school. I don't know what to tell you besides go out more, and then you'll want to stay in.


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Sowlowsolo
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21 Jul 2011, 2:55 pm

I can relate to all three posters here. I sometimes spend a lot of time planning what to do - but not getting far - and sometimes I relish being left alone.

Thing is - sometimes I make a real affort (or at least it feels like an effort to me!! !) and still get nowhere.

Twice I've invited a 'friend' at work to join me in a social activity - and twice (after initial enthusiasm) she has pulled out.

A recently added 'friend' on Facebook (she added me) messaged me her phone number yesterday and said she'd love to go for a drink sometime. I said that would be nice and that I'd put her number in my phone. This evening on Facebook she posted on her wall that she wanted someone to hang out with - I volunteered saying I was free - she didn't respond at all!! !

I don't understand?



ljsb
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22 Jul 2011, 12:14 am

javascript:emoticon(':(') I'm sorry that happened to you. But remember your friend might not have checked her facebook. Some people only check-in once every few weeks. She might have gotten an unexpected invitation, or decided to go out to see a movie or something. Or maybe she was at home watching TV feeling blue and thinking no one would reply to her facebook post. Why not try calling her? As for "pulling out" some people get excited about plans and change their mind because they are tired when it comes right down to it. Sometimes it works better just to call and ask "What are you up to tonight?" "Wanna go to a movie or take a walk or something?" Just keep making an effort. Don't give up unless she tells you to quit asking.



Sowlowsolo
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22 Jul 2011, 1:56 am

ljsb wrote:
javascript:emoticon(':(') I'm sorry that happened to you. But remember your friend might not have checked her facebook. Some people only check-in once every few weeks. She might have gotten an unexpected invitation, or decided to go out to see a movie or something. Or maybe she was at home watching TV feeling blue and thinking no one would reply to her facebook post. Why not try calling her? As for "pulling out" some people get excited about plans and change their mind because they are tired when it comes right down to it. Sometimes it works better just to call and ask "What are you up to tonight?" "Wanna go to a movie or take a walk or something?" Just keep making an effort. Don't give up unless she tells you to quit asking.


Thank you for your answer, however ...

The 'friend' at work pulled out of the first event saying that she had no money. That didn't stop her going out the following evening with other friends!!

The 'friend' on Facebook responded to her daughter's comment on her wall, which came shortly after mine, and then she posted on her wall again about an hour later - still didn't acknowledge what I had said - and upon checking this morning - she went on to say that she had a nice evening with someone else. ..... it was as if I hadn't said anything at all!! ! And I don't get it because she was the one (on the previous day) who said she would like to go for a drink with me sometime!