second hand smoke and social situations

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Years ago I was an occasional smoker (exams, parties), but I haven's smoked in 15 years. Recently I have become so sensitive that I have to leave the room or give the smoker a wide path on the sidewalk. I try to be a healthy person and stay away from anything carcinogenic, as there is a genetic cancer risk in my family. This spring I had a bit of a scare after my physical. I am fine, but now I am really trying to stay away from it.

I like to see my in-laws on special occasions but they are all smokers, and all the family things are at their houses. The smoke gets really thick - especially at Christmas, when the windows cannot be opened. I get really sick, queasy, limited appetite, headaches, sore throat, burning itchy eyes - the whole program.

(If you are a smoker and are reading this, no offence intended, you may not be as sensitive as me. Some of my ex-smoker friends say that they had no idea it was this intense until they quit.)

What to do about this? I don't want to cause a hassle for my partner or his family. I don't think that he wants to go to these things by himself. He hates the smoke too but he goes anyway. I like my family and I want to see them. Any suggestions?

If you want to see your family, just go and don't talk about it.
Smoke makes me sick also, but they probably won't stop smoking on special occasions, even if you ask them to. Also, if you're not smoking yourself/around smoke all the time but just a few times a year, you shouldn't worry about it being carcinogenic.
Sorry this is kind of a lousy answer, but it's what I would do.