Is it normal even as an Aspie.....

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To feel both Emotionally numb,yet also majorly hypersensitive at the same time?
By that I mean that most of the time when I have face to face interaction I have to mime body language to a big extent cause I don't feel like NT's.Most of my body language repertoire has been consciously learned from books including keeping open body positions;and how to properly use smiles and other facial expressions for maximum effect.Before I learned these skills I felt my gesturing was almost nonexistent and I kept a blank/serious face most of the time.Just didn't feel I could emote well at all,which is where the numbness comes in.It's always a work in progress.

But at the same time I seem to be hypersensitive to things like criticism,embarrassment,and insults.To the point where I feel like crying,breaking things,or both in my humiliation and frustration.I realize I'm kinda slow,where my brain takes a while longer than the average NT's to respond to data and sensory input.So when someone insults or puts me down,my answer usually comes out a lot slower than theirs in a stuttering mess.This increases the more anxious I get.I think this is where most of the anger and desire for violence comes from.Try as I might I can't defend myself well verbally so I sometimes feel my only recourse is to fight back physically.This has gotten me into some major trouble in the past and I'm afraid I might lose control again.

Sad that even with all my book knowledge I still can't even remotely understand myself.Is this at all normal,even for a person on the low spectrum?

I don't know if i'm in the majority or not but i'm exactly the same.

Ditto here as well. I deal with it daily, even in interaction with my wife and kids. Wish I had an answer as to how to control it...

You're not the only one.....I kind of have this exact problem except I never bothered to read any books on facial expressions or body language. I mean I have come to terms with the fact that I sometimes get over sensative to criticism and such and I tend to laugh about it later...but still it bothers me because I think it makes me look childish and there is no excuse it seems.....I mean it does not matter if you say you have AS or agree with them that your overemotional and immature or on your time of the month just so they will shut up.

I seem a bit better at controlling it now, it does not happen as much as when I was younger.

I experience the same sort of issue myself.

You're not emotionally numb at all. That's not it. You're non-responsive to usual NT social cues. Which we all are.
I also read books on body language and try to keep an open position. I also use the pointing in a particular direction, away from the talking person, to signal I want to leave the conversation. It all feels calculated, but who cares.
I know I'm not numb, I'm just bored with most of what NTs want to talk about (usually nothing).
If someone talks about something that interests me, then I can become curious and sort of light-up, in my own way.
At that point I stop caring what my body language is like.
Oh and I never fake a smile, that's the most uncomfortable thing ever. I just nod and raise one (sort of like Spock) or two eyebrows to signal "interesting" and "really?" respectively.



The exact same thing happens to me.
Since we're non-verbal thinkers, alot of us anyway, it takes longer to translate what we're thinking into words.
And in the mist of very strong anger and anxiety, the process is near impossible. It's not that you don't know how to
counteract the insult or verbal attack, it's all there in your head. But not in a way you can communicate.
It would be sweet to just transmit that stuff direct into their minds!

Yes, it is normal for an Aspergian. I have the same problems (except for the crying part - although I frequently feel like breaking things) and it makes me unbearably anxious, leading to sudden mood swings. Right now, I'm feeling extremely depressed, but I'll probably feel better by the next week.

Not at the same time, but you can have both be a part of your personality.



The numbness is in my mind sometimes. My body is probably too expressive. Half the time I might be saying stuff wth my body language that I don't know.



I am not sensitive to criticisms as long as they are tasteful. Embarrassment...completely. Insult, I can usually get them to get into a your face, your mom war. I usually win those. That's what used to happen to me, and still kinda does. When I was younger, I was actually bullied this way. I never knew how to express it. The best way was when I was in 7th grade, and I called it "bullying with words" Totally know the feeling. I know I am not stupid, and you aren't either (or you don't seem to be). But when I try to reply to insults, I am not creative...not quick-witted enough. My thoughts are that NT's are born with smart mouths, and we aspies have to learn it. Sometimes I can think of good replies.....but sometimes I have to lean on the your mom/your face thing. Don't be afraid to use that. It is something in a mindset where we are given no defenses against "bullying with words." Violence too, I've REALLY had to work on that. When I was younger, I would lash out. Fortunately, as long as it wasn't my sister....they would tell me that it was "a bad idea" for me to do that. But whenever I even poked my sisters, I was a violent monster. Even now, when I yell: "You could have blown their eardrums." It's freakin frustrating...but it's life. My family continues to tell me that I could lose my control one day and kill someone. I am not afraid of that.....however, I am scared that I will seriously injure someone. Anger management seems like the place I'm gonna end up. Nevertheless, I try to work on it. Self-control is the name of the game. I've read many internet articles about self-control, and I've tried to apply that discipline to other areas of my life.



I can't either. And I'm glad that I'm not the only one who gets this way. However, I'm on the higher end of the spectrum, so more is required of me...still, it is hard. It's not sad, it's facts.

Thank you for your honest responses.It really does make me feel better to talk to people here who are in the same boat.




I agree....I resent the fact that I severely overreact to negative stimuli because he makes me seem so immature or even a 'wimp' to do so.I used to fully believe that was the case when people would call me these things.But even though it's not an excuse to try and improve,at least now that I understand autism and apergers a lot better I realize it's not 'all my fault' so to speak.My brain is just wired differently than a NT,and I'm just gonna have to learn to adapt the ol Aspergers way



Hahaha exactly who cares.

I don't look at it as manipulation unless I had malicious purposes which I don't.It's simply the fact that what most NT's learn subconsciously,I've had to learn consciously to better control my incomes.It really does seem neat that I can at least to some extent control how people perceive me,through trying to use conscious Body language.I suppose that's at least one thing most NT's never think about doing



That's very true...most of the time they're talking about Sports,Cars,or their crappy reality shows or music stars that I could care less about.It's very hard sometimes to even maintain the usual 'politely listening' face when these kind of subjects come up (which is often).I'm sure that try as I might the impatience frequently shows on my face through pressed lips,frowns, fast eye blinking and other anxious facial body language.I try to maintain pretty good eye contact though even though it can be uncomfortable.At least that tells them that ?I'm trying to listen rather than looking around or picking lint off my shirt.

And yeah...the nod and eye raise is one of the main tools in my arsenal besides eye contact to show attention.Making fake smiles really is uncomfortable.I guess sometimes I just do it because I don't want people to think I'm angry,boring,etc for holding the same facial expression 90% of the time..lol.I've heard it's especially important when you're flirting with girls,and therein lies the dilemma.How can I make wanted connections with girls if anxiety and lack of interest in the usual NT girls hobbies prevents me from coming out with genuine smiles?






Same here.
I got a channel on Youtube and I like to get constructive criticism.
people that just say 'This F*******ing sucks' or some other similar garbage annoy me though.Many cowards on the internet like to use 'freedom of expression' as their excuse to be a douche online.But then again I guess that's no difference than using your rich parents,Jock status,or being the Principals/bosses son to get away with things in real life situations like High School and the job market



Lol..'Yo Momma' is one of my favorite joke sets of all time.One friend in particular I had I would use these jokes on in a playful manner and he was really cool about it.
And strangely enough so far when someone insults my deceased mom (whether spiteful or not) or other family members in the typical way it doesn't bother me too much.I just figure I know they aren't those things so it's not a big deal.Now threaten me or my family and friends with actual harm and the hot head heats up in a hurry.



It's definitely frustrating ,trying to verbally keep up with smart alec and witty NT's that abuse their tongue.I don't know why,but I have this ENORMOUS anger and hatred toward perpetrators that I consider to be unfair or having done an injustice to another person.We Christians believe God will deal with all wrong doers.But at the same time the urge to smack the smirk off their faces is still very strong,and i have to hold myself back.




Seems you family has very legitimate concerns about your well being though.
Two years back I lost my job and very well could have went to prison when I beat the heck out of a so called 'friend' that had been lying and playing me for a fool for quite a while.
If I hadn't switched my angry emotion off halfway through the beating and went back to somewhat logical thinking,I might have killed him and been imprisoned for life.But thankfully due to me being a first time offender with a good civic record and a good lawyer I merely lost my job and paid a fine.It was a rude wake up call for me.

I know logically that many time's injustice will win regardless of what I do.It's just hard to tell the fiery emotional side of me that comes out when I'm distressed the same thing.Not gonna do any anger management classes if I can help it.I don't trust Shrinks and similar arts,having suffered their ineffective treatments and medications for many years before quitting.But I do feel the hypnosis/meditation/affirmations and other practices have helped me learn to cop and love myself more.




Hehehe well that certainly is an interesting idea.
You know we could always found a commune,town,or city,and only populate it with aspies/autists.
Needless to say though it might not be the cleanest kept,or most socially exciting place around but I'm sure it would at least be very peaceful
Who knows...maybe one day the government will really kick into gear on the space program and really give us our own planet to live on out there

Last edited by gtw1983 on 22 Jul 2011, 1:56 pm, edited 5 times in total.

dupe post..plz delete mods

Last edited by gtw1983 on 22 Jul 2011, 1:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I also understand this like many others. I wonder what it would be like if Aspergians were the only people on the planet. We wouldn't have to put up with all this 'body language' bull s**t and fakery!!