You wouldn't understand

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.....or you don't know how it feels or you've never been through pain like I have. I almost want to punch these people in the face. To me it's like someone telling me "You're not human or you've never had feelings so you wouldn't understand."

Is it just me?

I feel bad when people are upset or in trouble but I almost want to avoid them completely when they bring up these very lines.

People are imperfect. When someone is upset they are likely to say or do things wrong. If someone thinks I can't help them, I give them a list of resources that can. If they do nothing with it, it's up to them. I wish I could force people into action, but I can't. I barely manage myself to make changes so I know it's hard.

People usually use "you wouldn't understand" when they think you are too young or too inexperienced to understand something. The best comeback to that line is "try me". You might surprise them.

I use that line all the time, because people who have not had hands on experience with autism for longer periods of time will not understand what it is about.

I say it far more often than people say it to me. But at least in my scenario, it's usually true. Many people are obviously incapable of understanding how much it bothers me when people screw with my routines.

It's entirely possible for people to understand that it bothers you.

They may choose to disbelieve you and they may not understand why, but they can get that it does bother you.

When people say "you wouldn't understand" it means they don't want to talk about it. I will say, "You'd be surprised. I'm here if you want to talk." and leave it at that. When people are hurting, they say things that can be interpreted as rude and hurtful. They're distressed by their situation and I know it's not personal.