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Simonono
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08 Aug 2011, 5:15 am

To make friends, how do you actually get to the people? This probably doesn't make sense, well it doesn't even to me, but anyways, how do you meet people? Because I'm not doing anything. Literally. At all. As in, I don't go to college anymore, I don't work, I don't go anywhere that would have human beings, other than online. I don't go out anywhere with my friends, because they do that themselves with their own friends whom I don't know. I have absolutely no current opportunity to make real-life friends.

I'm going to try to look up some things on the internet on how to actually meet people so I actually have an opportunity to try and talk to them, but does anyone know how?

This is a very, very tough circle, since I can't learn the social skills if there is no opportunity to do so! :?



kahlua
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08 Aug 2011, 5:46 am

Get a new hobby that involves teams or clubs, and you will meet people.

Personally that isn't the hard bit, I tried to put myself out there to meet people, but they don't end up as friends.



izzeme
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08 Aug 2011, 6:18 am

indeed, find a hobby that involves other people, then go to a club based on that hobby; it's the best way for yourself to get there, and provides some instant and easyy to use conversation topics, to get the flow started.

for example, if you play an instrument, try and join a (small) orchestra, or see if there is a seminar for whatever you'd want to use for a hobby. most cities offer seminars in things like pottery, photography, painting, dancing...



pollyfinite
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08 Aug 2011, 9:37 am

I like volunteer work. There are so many people in need and volunteers are more likely to want to talk about real things that interest me than just chit chat.


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anneurysm
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08 Aug 2011, 4:25 pm

I second volunteer work, especially if its something you'd enjoy and are really interested in so that you'll meet people with similar interests. I've also had some success with meeting a few people in the strictly platonic section of craigslist.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

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chrissyrun
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09 Aug 2011, 1:44 am

You should go to a church, there are usually groups of people.

The LDS singles wards are also pretty open, just, fyi :wink:

But for reals, not just that religion, but a lot have groups you can join.


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Artros
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09 Aug 2011, 3:05 am

I met most of my friends through group work at university and a group for younger students (2-3 years younger than everyone else) in high school.


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effzedpilot
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10 Aug 2011, 7:21 am

Note: I by no means recommend this for anyone else, but this strategy worked for me.

In all honesty, smoking is the only reason I had any friends at university. Smokers were herded into certain areas outside on campus and awkward small talk was the norm. You see the same people in the same spot often enough you discover commonalities and eventually meet up later to do other stuff.

I think the point of this is that you can meet people if you are exposed to the same group of people over and over again. For instance if you go to the gym at the same time every day, you'll meet the people who are there all the time if you are open to it. Pubs, book stores, coffee shops, etc.

Please don't start smoking.



jackbus01
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11 Aug 2011, 2:39 am

I have been wondering that for some time now. Sorry I can't help. I am pretty introverted but I still wouldn't mind hanging out with someone once a week or so. It is different when one is not in a college environment, where there is a lot of social interaction.



KWifler
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12 Aug 2011, 9:35 pm

Usually for people who don't "get to the people" this is how it works:
First, a family member invites you out to an event such as a dance or other function.
You have to go because it is family and they didn't let you refuse.
Now you stand around nervously and someone catches your eye, or you catch theirs.
You gravitate toward each other slowly, or smash into each other, and apologize.
Apologies become conversations, conversations become friendships.
Then you have people visiting and calling you non stop every day until you are 80.
Then they all die off, and you have 5 kids and 20 grand kids and living alone in a big house.