I dont understand.

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This is just a vent i had to get out.

I used to have this guy who was a really great mate since primary school so 10ish. We did orchestra together on the same instrument and everything. He is 7years older then me but we always got on great. When i turned 12 we would flirt with each other and i developed the biggest crush on him. We kept in contact and flirted all the way through high school. I was with his sister for a while. I am still friends with her too. When i got to university he was studying honours performance on the same instrument as me still. Our flirting went up a notch and he asked me out a few times. I was dating a man who was his mate and so i had to turn him down. We continued to flirt and be friends when i moved in with my ex husband. In fact the day my sister gave me a blackeye, he was there for me.

After my daughter was born we got back in contact and things went up a notch and we professed love for each other. I went out to meet him at a bar, he was making out with a girl he met there that night. I cut contact and worked on my marriage. I have recently decided i am over him and i would like to still be mates because we have all mutual friends in the same friendship groups.

He has told me that he wanted to be friends at the time but i threw it back in his face and now he is unsure if he wants to know me if i am that fickle.

I don't understand.

I take it you are pretty angry about the whole bar-kiss thing. I would be very clear on this and say that that's why you may have seemed fickle to him.

I think you both need to have a private but frank discussion about what kind of relationship you want to have with each other and your prospective/current spouses. You should also bring up mixed signals you have been getting over the many years you've known each other.