How do you make CLOSE friends?

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I can make acquaintances just fine, but true friends that actually keep in touch with me and want to do stuff with me? That seems impossible. Even when I feel that I've made such a friend, they end up shunning me or at least ignoring me. For example, I'll call them, and they never call me. I just feel so hated. No one besides relatives has known me my whole life or even a significant part of it.

I'm not just talking about friends in real life either. I have trouble even making on-line friends and would be happy just to improve on that!

Yeah that's extremely difficult. I have one close friend. We have a lot of common interests, and we are opposites as far as social life is concerned. She loves talking all the time and I don't, so I'm often willing to listen (she hates hanging out with other hyper-talkative people, because then she gets into fights since she wants to talk all th etime but so does the other person). But, people like that are hard to come by. It's just a matter of luck.

I can make friends, but I have also had a lot of bad experiences like you've had. I think it depends more on the other person than on you.

Edit: Because of the above, I don't really believe in a formula for friend-making. If anything, I'd recommend mirroring the friend-to-be a bit. Like, if he/she talks about something serious that happened to him/her in his/her past, then you can tell him/her about some of your past afterwards (after the discussion on her serious thing has ended, maybe even in a different conversation). I read about that somewhere yesterday but I've forgotten where it was.

Yeah, that's the same with me. I can make friends, but we drift off after a while because we have absolutely nothing in common or nothing to talk about. I think the best way, is to "pretend" that you have the same interests as that person even if you don't.

I won`t approach someone fist unless it`s on the internet. I have trouble keeping friends though.

Well, making a true friend either requires sacrifice, or a lot in common.

Most of my true friends have ADHD or asperger's too or are really awkward or are really nice and miraculously think I'm funny (uhhh wat??). I can say anything to them and they'll laugh or understand what I mean. It's hard to find such people, so that's why I love them, and I will give up my time and look over how uncomfortable I am when I go out and be myself with them and do things with them.
So it's understandable that it's hard to find true friends with contrasting people. Don't force yourself to hang out with them if you have nothing in common. Don't change yourself. Just look for the right people. They're everywhere.

This isn't going to be a positive post, so I apologise in advance. No matter what I say, remain hopeful though!! (IMO, hope is the most important thing you can carry with you.)

But I had close friends. Now I just don't know where I went wrong. I'm lonely as heck tonight, I just want to curl up and find someone out there who's like me. If such a person exists...

But yeah, I'm like BillyIdolFan217 - I find it hard to initiate conversation or friendship outside of the internet.

I have the same issue, and from the other responses it seems like a fairly common problem around here. I have "acquaintances" who like to call me their friends, but whenever they hang out with their close friends or their circle of friends, I'm typically not part of the action. I've even tried inviting people over to my place, but despite the fact that I live smack downtown where you can get to from any direction public transportation wise, people aren't interested in stopping by. I think people like to be around people who make themselves feel "cool", and since aspies are typically indifferent or ignorant of the small subtleties that constitute "cool" we have nothing to add for them. Also not being a heavy drinker seems to be an issue. I shouldn't try shoving every "aspie" in my box, but I figured the trouble with people wanting to come to you to hang out isnt limited to just me.

I have this problem too. I can meet people and start to make what seems to be friends and then it stops. I am given the cold shoulder or left out of other arrangements. At my playgroup, I hear the other mums fixing up playdates etc but not with me. It hurts and I wonder what is wrong with me. If I invite someone over it never happens. I have kind of grown to accept this and just don't bother anymore. As a result, I am alone with my daughter alot and I feel very bored. But I find it so tiring to be socialable. There are lots of awkward siliences and guess what? I don't hear from them again. It's never going to away. I have tried so hard that I am over it. I am learning to accept this in me and work around it. I can think of no other way. Anyone got some tips?

I can relate to your post Chivolsoc. The last friend I had came and went and is gone and haven't heard from her for nearly 6 months so now apart from an ex I am completely friendless. The people I talked to and tried to make friends with met once or twice and then they were gone. No one invites me out and on Facebook I message people and half the time nobody acknowledges my messages and if I do attempt to socialise I get so bored and silences fill the air. I feel I have no conversation to give and yet I do get bored on my own but it is just the way it is at the moment.
Have spent the majority of my life with no close friends and I don't believe I will ever make any close friends.

I have since discovered in the last year and a half that I have Aspergers and I started going to an Aspergers group support in the city. We meet every month and there are people from all ages. Not sure where you living but you may like to see if there are any support groups in your area. It's a good idea to see if you can meet some like minded people who understand you.

I call people all the time and ask them if they want to hang out but the answer is always, "no, I'm doing something with someone else today, call back later". My high school is very cliquey and even the geeks are unwilling to let me in. I try my best to show people I'm interested and want to make friends without being desperate, but it never works. They never call me, invite me anywhere, and rarely even hang out with me at all. I get the runaround consistently from people who are supposed to be my friends. It breaks my heart to see how they all hang out with each other in one big group but never invite me along. I feel like a total loser and even though I do everything my counselor says to do, they still won't give me a chance. I feel like banging my head on the table because nobody seems to want anything to do with me most of the time, and I don't think it's my fault. At least if it were my fault, I would be able to fix the problem and try again. It just hurts so much when the ball is in their court and they don't even care enough to toss it back.

It was like this in school for me too. I was also bullied there. It has taken me now until 43 to give up and accept it that I am just not the fitting in type. I feel so happy in that decision. I know I am a good person. I read somewhere that we are better off attending classes or special interest groups and meeting people that way. I do that and I while I am polite to people, I don't bother taking it any further. There's no point only to end up with the same result. When I do this, I feel in control of it all and I feel better. When I think back to my days in school, I wish I had the chance again to do it differently. To be the best I could be and don't bother about the friends bit. Make them outside and societies and groups. That way I would have had contact to fulfil the need I have for connection but that's it. I wasted so much time trying to fit in, I really did. It was hell and has been for so many years. I read this great book called Solutions for adults with AS by Juanita lovett. It was this book that helped me come to the conclusions that I have. At my playgroup (I have a 2 year old) there is this lady who just keeps herself to herself but she is polite. I admire her and watch her and wish I was like her. Sometimes I copy her and I feel good. At first, I thought she was rude and didn't like me, but I watched and she doesn't talk to anyone.