I have given up making friends.

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I'm 43 now and totally over it. I did not know that I had AS until recently. Making friends is too hard. I dread it. Most people I meet critisize me. They say they don't think I like them or they treat me as if I am weird. I get very little follow through in the people I do meet. I hate the phone so that doesn't help things. I honestly prefer my own company. I like to hang out with my hubby, also AS. No demands on me I have a little girl too and I love hanging out with her. I do the mummy and toddler thing with playgroups and things but I feel like I don't fit in. I am polite on the surface but I don't want anything more. For years, I thought I did and could never achieve consistency with friends. It's like I can read them and the challenge is off for me. I like to be pleasant but that's it. Somedays I want everyone to leave me in peace and hide away with a film or a book. I hate bumping into people I know because I hate spontaneous conversation. I don't know what to say. How have you coped? I don't like be totally lonely either.

I know how you feel. I can't seem to make friends either, though I try and try. The fact is, it's likely not me and that's why I hate it so much! I just feel so helpless being rejected over and over, because there is nothing I can do. If it were my fault, at least I would be in control over the situation... I usually make my friends over the internet and they tend to be more interesting and loyal than the people in real life anyway.

I'm sorry to hear of your experiences.

A month ago, I left my job, because I got bullied, suffered from Anxiety and felt out of love with my job and unfortunately in the process, I lost a total of nine friends within a few weeks - five of them at my old job, and the remainder at various social-networking sites and at an other old job.

I say to myself, that I am glad to be my own best friend and that Confidence is more important than friendship. I only use this website, to exchange posts with fellow-aspergians and no long bother with neurotypicals anymore. And I certainly don't want anymore friends, because my identity is someone elses problem, as I have found out from past and recent experiences.

Do you feel put off making new friends, for the fear of being rejected later again?

me too, dont even bother to try, just doesn't happen for me

My cat and bearded dragon are my best friends. I don't need any human friends.

Chivolsoc, making friends can be stressful. Online is a good way to try to meet people. You can try to put a post asking if others near you on here want to meet maybe. At least on here, people are more likely to be more understanding of you and probably more trustworthy too. Like you know that reactions would be occurring because of someone's odd behavior and not probably because they are intentionally malicious.

I would also suggest looking for autistic social groups to join. Depending on where you are, they aren't always nearby. If they are not, and if you can drive, it's worth the drive to go to something once in awhile.

Oh yeah, and for making friends, don't go to the point of making a connection that you are just giving yourself up too much to the other people. Keep in mind that the people you are with may not be interested for whatever dumb reason, and don't wait around too long. Don't let someone boss you around- if things start to seem that way, just walk away. People can usually sense when something is not right. If someone slightly betrays you and then begs for your friendship, get them to do things more on YOUR terms.

I hope this helps, and I do know how you feel. If there are specific situations you want to talk about, and if I log on here a lot more often, I am more than happy to try to help.