Fitting In

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Have you ever tried to fit in with other people, before and/or currently right now? If so, what was the results? For me, when I tried to fit in my high school days, it was both good & bad. I made friends, but later drifted away from me. Also, it led to a lot of bullying.

In gradeschool, it let to positive things for a while, there weren't many social cliques, and I had friends kinda. I just was a loner 90% of the time, most people tried to bully me but.. I did eventually make progress.

Then school change and new area in 6th grade, bullied due to different culture and people, bullied by the same people I tried to make friends with who tried to fight me every day.

My mom let me change schools midyear but the damage was sorta done. I didn't want to talk or open up to anyone, I was always naive yet still incredibly guarded. I changed schools to my cousins school and even people I had been friends with I didn't want to talk to.

Fastforward 7th and 8th grade, I was much the same but a smaller class at a private school did me some good. I made friends only due to a teachers intervention, this teacher was incredibly nice but my relationship with my mom started to deteriorate. I got incredibly depressed during the school year, leading me to go to a highschool with the same kids who bullied me in 6th.

My only successful attempt at making friends was when I was at a job at a restaurant my mom owned, still bullied but I had some good interactions with customers and co-workers. I didn't try to fit in, I think I have a mind-block in place that prevents me from trying to fit in, but fitting in it itself isn't bad.

I usually go wrong when I waste time trying to bring people in with little capacity to share my experiences. Hanging out with vegans, when you enjoy steak, or the other way around, probably won't get you far. Seek out those who have the same 'mood level' as well. Seeking out a bossy type will drain you if you're really quiet.

If you think visually, think of your energy like that of a magnet when you set out into the world!