People want to ruin things for me

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I joined a workout club last saturday with my mother because she felt it would be a good thing for me. I was on one of the treadmills and an asian woman came up to me on the other. She asked if I was watching one of the TV's hanging in front of the machines and it caused me to slip.
I tore some skin off my arm from the fall and the speed of the machine threw me off. I hit the floor hard and I sat there, upset, panting and silently swearing. She told me she was sorry and asked if I was ok but I believe it was lip service. I just replied, "I want to be alone." (should have said something harsh) and walked off. My head was filled with anger and hate. I wanted to leave and lie down in my bed as rest is the only escape I have from this f****d up world. I even felt like crying because I'm sick of people doing mean things to me.

I truly believe people want to ruin things for me. I've suffered a lot of rejection and harm from people ever since I was a toddler. I've never been abused by my family but some of the kids and adults I've met growing up have done things harmful to them. It is their fault I have such a negative outlook on life and why I can't reach my dreams (a girlfriend, excelling in my interests and having an entertaining life). They keep putting obstacles up that keep getting back up whenever I try to break them. I f*****g hate people.

She was trying to be polite.

Most people don't fall off the treadmill if someone else talks to them. If this is a major problem for you then stay off the treadmill or any other equipment where a small distraction will result in you damaging yourself.

I would say that she probably wasn't trying to be mean. I try to look for more evidence before making a decision like that.

If it turns out that it is for no reason, there's something to be said for laughing at them for going out of their way to hurt you.

Reminds me of one time I was in college I was cooking pasta in the common kitchen
then I brought the mostly drained pasta back to my private room. I tried to get the rest of the water out by carefully pouring it in my bathroom sink. I manage to pour half the
pasta on my bathroom floor. I said aloud "the whole world is a conspircy to destroy
me" . I quickly realized how crazy that statement was.

My point bad things happen and its mostly not an evil plot.

I would seriously suggest therapy and possably anti-depressents...I am not being mean or insulting you.I am genuinly concerned for your well being...as a fellow "paranoid"...I have alot of empathy for you.You not only have to deal with people who are generouly rude,insensitive and get thrills from hurting people ...you also have to deal with all your "self projected "injustices...all the hurt must be very over whelming.I hope you are a "logical" person...and can see the following ...

Just because an action (your falling)is preceeded by another action(her comment)it does not follow that her action(comment) was" intended" to cause the action(falling).

I can not tell you the number of times I have been in her position...something happened(bad) after I did something(nutral)....Most of the time ,not only did I not intend for following action to happen..it had nothing to do woth what eventually did happen...Hope that makes some sense..

I love working out on the machines in a gym but I'm astonished at people who want to talk to me. I really thought that if there was a place to be ignored, that would be it. But it isn't. I don't know what to do. Not a T-shirt that says Leave Me Alone, that would attract them. Maybe blue spiky hair and a Metallica Tshirt and Dracula teeth?

Claradoon...You maybe shocked to hear this but many people join gyms more to meet and have social time then to work out ....Personaly,it is one reason I dont belong to a gym.In college we had a weight machine in the basement that no one used and I used to love it...it felt so good and I liked the feeling of "being in my body" since I ussually felt stuck in my head...but people around forget it.I hope some day to buy one of those bow flexs (my apt is to small,I think),that would be ideal...no gym rooms to change in,no driving,no chit-chat....

I have both a psychiatrist and a counselor. I also take medication. But the medicine hardly helps and I haven't seen my therapists in a few weeks.

I am glad that you are getting help....sometimes it takes several weeks for medication to work and longer when you have to keep trying different things and different doses until you find one that works for you....I know how frustrating that can be(I take a low dose Effexor and it is the first one that I have found that works "good enough" with out to many side -effect)....my sister has tried about 10 different med combinations(three suicide attempts in past 5 years)and she still hasnt found a perfect one but seems stable right now...she may have to get an inplant(some kind of nurreal stimulator).

Try not to skip your appts....if you like your psyc/counsler, it can really help "detox" from all the toxins that come from social interaction and daily stressers''''at least I think of them as toxins...and what happens when toxins build up.....I get sick.Maybe your counsler ccan help you find ways to make your daily life less stressful?(the excercise is a great idea,sorry you had a bad experience,but dont give up on doing some...it really helps if you can stick with it)

I severely doubt that she was purposely trying to make you fall. It is more likely that she was talking to you because she was attracted to you, or because she wanted to use the TV if you were not using it, or something like that.

That you slipped and fell is your own damn fault. Take responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming other people. And thinking that people are "out to get you" and ruin you just because they happen to talk to you, that is freakin' ridiculous.

Furthermore, most of the time people are just thinking about their own interests. They would only be trying to ruin you if you did something terrible to them and they wanted revenge. Otherwise they would just be thinking about themselves.

"Furthermore, most of the time people are just thinking about their own interests. They would only be trying to ruin you if you did something terrible to them and they wanted revenge. Otherwise they would just be thinking about themselves."

this counseling above, coming from a guy who gets pissy when someone merely mentions the word god.

sheesh.

not that i dont agree with what he said.

I understand that feeling.

I hope things go better for you soon.

you'll be alright!

What are you talking about? I have no interest in ruining people who mention one god or another. I may express strong disagreement with what they say and criticism, but I have no interest in ruining them. I have better things to do with my time than trying to ruin people. And there is a big difference between expressing a negative opinion about some topic versus trying to ruin someone.

Furthermore, whenever I say something negative to someone, I am usually NOT writing with that person in mind. I am actually writing for the OTHER people reading (as one would do if in a public debate).