A question for you all

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Is it just me or is it the same with most people with AS that talking sometimes isn't our strong point? I get into conversations sometimes with either family members, girlfriend, or friends and it seems that every time that the conversation starts getting hostile / you feel that it is getting angry; that it seems that my mouth just stops working entirely. There are alot of words i want to say, but i feel like my jaw is wired shut >_< This ends up putting me in alot of akward situations and i wondered if there was any advice that anyone could/might be able to give me about helping with overcoming this? Thank you & Namaste.

I can definitely relate. I tend to become very closed up in negative situations too, and shell up, hardly saying a word. It can be tough, as these situations can seem demanding. One thing that has worked for me is asking for a break to process the situation and think of things to say about it. If you allow yourself a few minutes away from the situation, you will be able to think about it without dealing with it dead on, and you can walk back into it feeling a bit more confident of what to say. I hope this helps!

If I detect that the reason the conversation has gone sour is my own fault, I stick around and take my lumps.

If it's not my fault, and not related to me (tricky; see below), I have ways to verbally excuse myself and then leave.

Re: tricky... The culture I was raised in puts great emphasis on social harmony of various kinds. Bailing out of a conversation has to be done very carefully, and "social blame" spills over in weird ways; you have to know who your "group" is, and for a conversation you need to know how close each participant is to yourself. This "proximity" affects whether someone's actions become your actions, and to what extent.

So sometimes a conversation busts because of something that someone who's associated with me did. And I have to sit there and be contrite.

It is very good that you are able to stay quiet during a heated discussion, rather than feeling an obligation to talk.

I don't like to get into arguments, so will usually stay quiet. I'm a very emotional person and I can't speak properly with that going on in my head, so I've always found keeping my mouth shut to be the best option. Depending on the nature of the conversation, I might have a burning rage inside, but nobody knows. This rage jumped out last year (no physical violence) and I had no control over it. For the first time in my life, I actually thought I was losing my sanity.

I feel so embarrassed now because when a conversation goes wrong, I either switch the topic abruptly or blurt out all the thoughts swirling in my mind. You see, once I get anxious, I tend to babble on and on since I'm desperate to calm myself down. I often end up saying things that I later regret. Personally, my pet peeve is that some people use silence to show displeasure. To me, silent rage is scary.

If things get hostile in a conversation I usually start to panic and lose the ability to speak fluently. I start to stutter and stumble and get confused. As a result I normally shut up and leave if there is anger being expressed. If I'm in an exchange that involves angry words it takes me a while to process it and I'll usually come back some time later with an answer. People close to me understand and accept that. People who are not close to me, well who cares about them anyway.