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I cannot pretend

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SPKx
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25 Sep 2011, 1:11 am

I went to a busy downtown bar/club tonight for my cousin's birthday and even though I tried to make it appear that I was having a good time, in the end I couldn't hide my immense discomfort of the crowds and I ended up feeling like a passive robot just going through the motions.



LittleTigger
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25 Sep 2011, 3:16 am

I don't do well at growedup ttype places.


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Imaginate
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25 Sep 2011, 5:28 am

I hear ya. I am pretty much done with pretending to fit in/be normal. I don't really know where that leaves me, though.



auntblabby
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25 Sep 2011, 7:40 am

i can't pretend either. both my mother and me were [are] hermits.



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25 Sep 2011, 9:08 am

I can smile and nod, that's about it.


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anneurysm
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25 Sep 2011, 4:19 pm

Not everyone enjoys these types of noisy, crowded environments, and most of the people with AS I know don't. It sounds like you are realizing your own limitations, which is a good thing because you'll know what types of social environments will work for you and which ones don't.


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KathySilverstein
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26 Sep 2011, 2:22 am

Those places are full of so many sensory hazards that I would imagine it would make things a great bit more difficult. Adult social life does NOT have to revolve around bars and clubs. don't try to pretend....find things that make you comfortable to do...with or without others. Not worth it otherwise.


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pyramid
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27 Sep 2011, 6:08 am

Imaginate wrote:
I hear ya. I am pretty much done with pretending to fit in/be normal. I don't really know where that leaves me, though.

Same with me, that's it. Finished with it......



SPKx
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27 Sep 2011, 9:40 am

anneurysm wrote:
Not everyone enjoys these types of noisy, crowded environments, and most of the people with AS I know don't. It sounds like you are realizing your own limitations, which is a good thing because you'll know what types of social environments will work for you and which ones don't.


This is not something I'm just realizing, I've been uncomfortable in busy bars for years. However, everytime I go to one of these places, I always half expect that I am going to adapt somehow.



Summer_Twilight
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27 Sep 2011, 11:21 am

Don't try to be something that you are not as it never works. Instead, I would learn how to revise those social skills and then be yourself as much as possible while having fun and staying positive. However, you have to be comfortable in your own shoes first and that always works.



Asterisp
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27 Sep 2011, 1:26 pm

There are a few quiet places that I visit without problems. But when I am in a group I just tell them that I am tired or have to be early the next day. So just cut off early and most of the times it seems to be accepted.