Friends & depression

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I have a friend who i used to be really good friends with, I could tell her anything and trust her to keep it to herself. She has put me to the side and has made some other friends, she still counts me as a friend.But we seem to be slowly going in different directions. cry:

I cant seem to tell her how i feel anymore and i am suffering badly because of this inability to say what i want. I feel extremely alone and have developed a scalp condition due to stress.

I have been wondering over the last few weeks if i have the start of depression and is it because we don't seem to be getting along so well? or am i thinking this way because i might have depression?

I would like to know if anyone has suffered from depression and what the signs are

I need her as a friend because i need some outside company. I lock myself in the house most of the time apart from when i have to go to work or go to see family.

I am 73 in few days. I have sufferend from depression all my life. Being bipolar, as they call this condition now, i have always alternated manic periods, enthusiasms, etc and periods of extreme despondency. Anyhow I am also an AS, and i know how diffidult it is to fluidly interact with people and make friends, whatever being friends mean. I live in complete loneliness, has always been so. I know how difficult it is, often utter despair. The only way to cope is to cultivate some interest, solitary interest: reading, listening music, seeing movies, having a cat or a dog. But you must never pretend much from other people; they will never be able to understand your suffering. If they do it's probably because they suffer themselves. But if so it's difficult they will be able to be of help. People who suffer, unfortunately, are self centered.
My experience is also that SSRI antidepressents are of help.

I have not gone to see my doctor about the way i am feeling. I am thinking of going to see her. I am afraid that i might have to be put on antidepressants.

If i have to be put on them its probably for the better!! but is there any other way to deal with this depressed feeling apart from drugs?

I will try and find another interest apart from the many other ones I already have. Something that involves getting out of the house, maybe a (relaxing) yoga or art class.


"Paolo" Wishing you a Happy Birth Day in advance!!

Paolo what date is your birthday? mine is the 22nd of this month.

Anti-depressants are scary stuff... they'll turn you into a zombie.

If anxiety is a big part of your depression, try to get medicine for that instead.

It took about two months on Buspar (an anti-anxiety medication) before it started reducing the anxiety to the point where I could begin working through the depression myself.



I also highly recommend you find "neutral gathering places" (like coffee shops, community centers, churches), and begin talking to people there, and just for the experience of talking. Don't count on finding any real friends, but as long as you practice your communication skills, you will begin to understand it. Also, I recommend that you try to talk to individual people or pairs. Avoid groups of 3 or more. The more people there are, the less interaction and more rapid-fire exchanges (which can be very confusing) you'll see.

Also, no matter how difficult this may be, you'll need to learn to hide the fact that you're suffering, except to people who it's there job to be tolerant and understanding (like the preacher at a church). Most people will be immediately repulsed. At churches, they'd probably be happy to pray for you (of course, that requires being comfortable with such things), and you can use that as somewhat of an outlet, but you'll still need to hide it in general conversation...

...it's the "NT" thing to do.



Depression can take many forms, from anything from losing interest in everything, to a pervasive sadness, to a violent inner hell, to a numb unreality.

I've experienced all four, and in that order.


You'll need to fight this thing on your own (for the most part)... but never give into it.

Anxiety does seem to be a big part of my depression "Few got that off my chest".

As (gsilver) described the four things that he has experienced with his depression was(losing interest in everything, to a pervasive sadness, to a violent inner hell, to a numb unreality).
I feel i have had three out of the four that (gsilver) has had. The one thing I don't have is that I have not lost interest in everything.

I will visit some quiet gathering places.
For now i will focus more on trying to sort things out, rather than trying to make new friends which i find pretty stressful anyway. I will practice the art of proper conversation with the NTs. Wish i knew some aspies in my area!!

I don't talk about my issues outside anyway, so there is no chance of me saying anything about my depression to anyone.

I'm not an expert, so you'll probably want to take this with a grain of salt.

I've often felt the same way you have, unfortunately I don't have much experience in getting beyond that kind of situation. Sometimes I feel sad, but life has so many more opportunities that focusing on one loss would put you behind. The only thing I would suggest to you is that you try to let this person know how you feel, maybe try setting up a meeting place or writing an email. I know firsthand that talking is a very hard thing to do, but it hurts even more when you let a friendship pass by unresolved.

I understand how that feels.

I wish you the very best of luck with that!

I wont let this friendship pass by, this person means a lot to me!

I have spoken to my doctor and she said that vitam B6 might help with my mood(hopefully).
I read that B6 is good for depression and also autism, don't know about that though. Will give it a try anyhow!!

Thanks Everyone for your support!!

IrishEyes

gsilver wrote: "Anti-depressants are scary stuff... they'll turn you into a zombie. "

Please do not tell people this. It is not true. Antidepressants can be life-saving, take it from me. This has made me very angry.

Anti-depressants work well with some people and not with others. I know this because my sister is on them. What "gsilver" means is that on a high enough dose of a anti-depressant, they can make you drowsy.

But for others, anti-depressants can be a life saver!

The new generation od antidepressants are really of help. They are not all but they may contribute to your survival. I have experienced how quitting them might have been disaster for me.

congratulations on living so long

I understand what you mean! Sometimes you just have to take something, even though you don't want too.
Good to hear the tablets are working well for you Paolo.
What are the names? of the new gen of antidepressants??

There is a thread here on General Topics? about antianxiety meds and Antidepressants...I have never tried the former(because I am worried about sedation)but I have not found that a problem on Effexor.
I do take it before bedtime...I think the "new generation" Paolo was referring to is the SSRI vs the "old school" of tricyclics which had a lot of neg. side effects.Antidepressants have saved more lives then it has ruined but it does have side effects (maybe some long term we dont know about yet)but for me it was worth taking the "risk" as I was so sick of thinking about suicide and crying all the time(get a bit old after 25 years of this crap)....Good luck.do your research but keep an open mind.

The new generation are called SSRI. I don' think there are great difference in efficacy between the varous molecoles that belong to the group. Fluoxetine (Prozac is the brand name of the most well known, but i am not on Prozac). You better ask your specialist.

As for my friends, very few and not living in my city, they all practivally disappeared when I told them that I was AS. Some think i am mad pretending i am mad. Many are influenced by psychoanalitic culture, with its nefaste effects and would suggest a talk cure. I must say that I lost interest in them since I started not to pretend anymore to be normal: It was a tremendous effort of all my life and now I don't want any more of it, even if I lose these few "friends".

Thanks for informing me! I will have to read up some more on SSRI.

I have been on the B6 vitamin for a few days now and it seems to help a little. I have one true friend and the rest are all acquaintances. I am not great at keeping conntact with even that one friend.
Life seems to be going around in circles for me at the moment. Cant seem to find a place where i feel at ease. I think i need a holiday even though i dont like leaving my house. I feel i need to escape to somewhere, thinking of going to Cyprus.