No friends and no relationships - totally alone in the world

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lease29
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14 Oct 2011, 6:39 am

How many of you are living life totally alone in the world? Do you have a job with co-workers? Do you live near family? Who truly has friends and who doesnt?
I am single live alone in a city of 380,000 people and don't have one true friend. I have no close family just a few acquaintances that I know. I work full-time so do have a job.
I joined a couple of clubs and despite this I have made no friends so far. It simply has not happened. It doesn't come easy and is going to get a lot harder as I get older to make friends particularly close friends and I am walking this life alone. With relationships I have only had two partners and the relationships have lasted less than 2 years and I believe this is due to my problems with having Aspergers. I am happy being single and am happy to stay this way. On the other hand with friends I am happy to be on my own and believe I am incapable of making and maintaining friendships.
Who here is living life totally alone and has had friends and relationship issues?



Last edited by lease29 on 16 Oct 2011, 4:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

J-P
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14 Oct 2011, 7:12 am

lease29 wrote:
How many of you are living life totally alone in the world? Do you have a job with co-workers? Do you live near family? Who truly has friends and who doesnt?
I am single live alone in a city of 380,000 people and don't have one true friend. I have no close family just a few acquaintances that I know. I work full-time so do have a job.
I joined a couple of clubs and despite this I have made no friends so far. It simply has not happened. It doesn't come easy and is going to get a lot harder as I get older to make friends particularly close friends and I am walking this life alone. I am walking through life alone.
With relationships I have only had two partners and the relationships have lasted less than 2 years and I believe this is due to my problems with having Aspergers. I am happy being single and am happy to stay this way. On the other hand with friends I am happy to be on my own and believe I am incapable of making and maintaining friendships.
Who here is living life totally alone and has had friends and relationship issues?


At part my family i'm alone among 1,692,080 peoples



mom2bzy
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14 Oct 2011, 1:54 pm

yup, most of my friends have moved away- pretty far away. Have family, who are always busy. No other friends than my boyfriend. Have tried clubs, etc. too. Maybe...the problem is not you but that ppl are too stuck up and self-centered and leery of others who don't fit into their stereotypes? Why does it have to be you or I having the problem?



Sniffletouille
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14 Oct 2011, 4:33 pm

I'm friendless except for two stuffed animals and my TI-89. Oh, I just recently met a new coffee tumbler. We have been roommates for a week now. Also, we are expecting Chem research project might be couch-surfing at our place soon too.



Nick88
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15 Oct 2011, 5:19 am

Yeah i spend 95% of my life either in my own company or with my parents. Once in a blue moon my mate Matt will come round , but thats it. I am not very outgoing , but find life harder than other people around me because of the different slant i give on society and the world which can be very negative and extreme. Plus i am likely to drive people nuts with my extreme obsession with time.



hurtloam
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15 Oct 2011, 2:45 pm

It's not necessarily going to get harder as you get older.

But in saying that all my friends have got married and I don't fit into the couples dynamic. I have one friend who makes an effort to invite me over from time to time. But I am spending another weekend alone again.

I'm not sure that I know how to keep a friendship going. I know alot of people, but i'm not friends with them. They don't seem to need me and I don't want to push myself onto people.

When I try and talk to people about this they say that people like me, what am I worrying about. People like me but they don't want to spend time with me.



Verinda
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15 Oct 2011, 5:08 pm

My son is fourteen and his best friend is me, his mum and i'm well aware that most boys of his age do not want their mum as their best friend.

However he has made some friends on facebook. You can also make really good, supportive friends on forums. I know it's not the same as being with a real live person but sometimes it can be easier and less complecated, and can make you feel less alone in the world.



icyfire4w5
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16 Oct 2011, 1:21 am

I've been friendless since goodness-knows-when. When I accidentally blurt this out to NTs, they always conclude that I'm friendless because I'm the epitome of evil. NTs tell me that it's easy to make friends and even easier to maintain friendships. According to them, only mean people lose friends all the time.



auntblabby
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16 Oct 2011, 2:37 am

i live in alone [aside from the occasional lone mouse and maurading ant armies] in a tin can out in the sticks. my sister lives 40 minutes away but she has her own life to lead and no time to visit me. 90% of the time when i stop by her house on the way into town to pick up sundries, she is gone someplace. all you good people on WP are my only exposure to people [aside from my monthly olympia aspie meetup], even if it is virtual rather than f2f. :neutral:



Vale
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23 Oct 2011, 11:43 am

I think i spoke to about five people from the age of about 14 to 24, zero friends or people i could talk to. I sort of had an epiphany and some of my perceptions and ability to feel really changed. I have made more progress in one month than the entirety of my life. Unfortunately i'm doing jobs, boxing, modeling which really puts me in a vulnerable place mentally, big groups of people, camera shy, forced to communicate, try to read people/emote and so on. But even with all of the stress its better than what went before. So its never to late to turn things around i guess.



tjr1243
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21 Dec 2012, 1:13 am

i'm nearly totally alone in the world.



urbanpixie
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21 Dec 2012, 11:05 pm

Sorry, meant to reply to another thread, I think.



VAGraduateStudent
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21 Dec 2012, 11:14 pm

I'm interested in this topic. I'm a researcher studying the sociology of autism, specifically the concept of identity in people on the autism spectrum. Oh and I'm NT with many aspie friends and family.

Okay so my question is, does this being alone with no significant relationships feel "bad"? Is there loneliness connected with this, or do you wish it were otherwise? Even if while wishing, you were wishing for a companion that couldn't be, like a character or creature from a book or a game? I'm wondering if people can really be okay with their lives while feeling that none of their relationships are significant. It would be VERY interesting if they could be.



auntblabby
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22 Dec 2012, 2:25 am

VAGraduateStudent wrote:
I'm interested in this topic. I'm a researcher studying the sociology of autism, specifically the concept of identity in people on the autism spectrum. Oh and I'm NT with many aspie friends and family.

god bless you :hail:

VAGraduateStudent wrote:
Okay so my question is, does this being alone with no significant relationships feel "bad"? Is there loneliness connected with this, or do you wish it were otherwise?

extreme loneliness. biting pain. total invalidation as a human being. it made me feel other than human, like a defective part of a machine that had to be replaced with a normal part. it made me ponder the benefits of taking a long walk off of a short pier. it was, in short, a feeling like death warmed over. this was an aspie who needed to be wanted and valued by somebody, and who felt for the longest time that there was nobody.
VAGraduateStudent wrote:
Even if while wishing, you were wishing for a companion that couldn't be, like a character or creature from a book or a game?

i never wanted a mere character from a book or game, but there were movie characters i fantasized about knowing.
VAGraduateStudent wrote:
I'm wondering if people can really be okay with their lives while feeling that none of their relationships are significant. It would be VERY interesting if they could be.

wish i were one of those people. i wonder if those kinds of people can even feel pain? just wondering. :shrug:
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quietgirl
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22 Dec 2012, 12:48 pm

VAGraduateStudent wrote:
I'm interested in this topic. I'm a researcher studying the sociology of autism, specifically the concept of identity in people on the autism spectrum. Oh and I'm NT with many aspie friends and family.

Okay so my question is, does this being alone with no significant relationships feel "bad"? Is there loneliness connected with this, or do you wish it were otherwise? Even if while wishing, you were wishing for a companion that couldn't be, like a character or creature from a book or a game? I'm wondering if people can really be okay with their lives while feeling that none of their relationships are significant. It would be VERY interesting if they could be.


Does being alone with no significant relationships feel "bad"? It did for a while. I was horribly lonely and prone to latching on to inappropriate romantic partners just to feel less alone. After much sturm und drang with the last of those guys, I found myself completely alone while recovering from a tripod facial fracture. That was a turning point for me. I had finally suffered more pain from being in a relationship than I ever could from being alone. Now, whenever I feel lonely, I run my fingers over the uneven ridge of my orbital bone, and turn my thoughts to productive and solitary pursuits.



billiscool
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22 Dec 2012, 3:59 pm

I find quite interesting that even aspie women who are very alone can still get a boyfriend. Just prove my theory that men are just more nicer to apsie people.