should I advise my friend with her business

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abc123
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16 Oct 2011, 11:26 am

I helped a friend who has a home business and exhibits at trade fairs. I have spotted a number of ways in which she could improve her stand and how she talks to customers. Is there any way of telling her this in a nice way, or is it better just not to tell her? It is bugging me as I like to improve and optimise things! If not can I just share with someone who understands so I can feel better?!
She did not have a big sign with her name on. She got shirty when I said people might struggle to read her information sign which was small and on a back wall and she said they didn't ever read it - I said that proved my point! We did this in a jokey way and I backed down.
It was not clear of the process by which she designs, makes and fits custom clothes. She didn't mention things like accessories to potential clients generally. Her website only really has the accessories and not the dresses which are her main income. She generally forgets to take pictures of clothes she makes. She is not free giving out business cards and will only give them out to people who actually sound serious. She says to clients she has 2 types of clients and if they fit into either category they can give her a ring-but surely she could make clothes for anyone and she could lose other people not in these categories? I saw the client see her be sarcastic and also saw her saying how bad a material was to work with which again she might not like it, but it is for the client.

I know I have aspergers so maybe this is a bit rich coming from me! I believe she is depressed as she left previous employment for depression, I notice she goes to the doctor for pills, occasionally says negative and sharp things and when I have been at her house during the day she gets on with her normal things as if I am not there such as baking, but is not making dresses so doesn't seem to be making many considering it is her income. I'm wondering if her patter and display is the reason for her limited number of clients and/or she is quite blunt (now can you see why she is my friend :lol: ) and is a strong opinionated person ordering people around although is very kind underneath this.

Should I say anything? Or can anyone relate to this experience.



Lene
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16 Oct 2011, 11:59 am

Quote:
She got shirty when I said people might struggle to read her information sign which was small and on a back wall and she said they didn't ever read it - I said that proved my point! We did this in a jokey way and I backed down.


She doesn't sound like someone who takes unsolicited advice well. Probably best to just leave her to it. I know it's really hard to bite your tongue when you see someone making what looks like a really obvious mistake, but to people who are already having a hard time coping, constructive criticism can be taken very personally.

Not to sound too callous; I know she's a friend, but at the end of the day, it is her career; as long as you don't become financially or emotionally entangled in it, it's no difference to you if she learns from her mistakes or not.



abc123
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16 Oct 2011, 12:08 pm

It affects me as in I can sense depression in people as sensitive to it myself and want to help and can feel bad myself. I sort of feel empowered to use my experience to help others.
All I can think of is waiting until she asks for help to say something and possibly saying what I like at trade stands in general or what I would personally do if I ever did something like that myself.



Lene
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16 Oct 2011, 12:37 pm

abc123 wrote:
It affects me as in I can sense depression in people as sensitive to it myself and want to help and can feel bad myself. I sort of feel empowered to use my experience to help others.


The thing is though, although you may feel empowered giving her advice, you might also be making her feel the opposite by pointing out the flaws in her business. The kinder thing in this instance may be to say nothing for the moment, or encourage the things she is doing well.

I'm not doubting there is room for improvement; she sounds like she really needs to work on her customer relations, but if you really want to help, I wonder if leading by example would be more effective than directly giving advice.

Quote:
All I can think of is waiting until she asks for help to say something and possibly saying what I like at trade stands in general or what I would personally do if I ever did something like that myself.


I think that sounds like a good plan; just wait until she asks and just sort of muse over what you like yourself.



Ilka
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16 Oct 2011, 1:02 pm

My Aspie husband is also good finding ways to improve processes. He usually can tell how people can improve the way they do things. The thing is when he talks about that with other people, they usually do not get the feedback very well (me included). I do not know what it is. I have always blamed the way "he says things", but I cannot name what it is, specifically. He just annoys people. So maybe it could be a good idea if you write down your ideas, trying to be as objective as possible, not to be too "know it all" or pedantic, and handle the list to her saying you just has ideas you think might help her improve her business, and you are giving them to her because you love her and you only widh the very best for her. You can ask someone else to read the list first and get their impressions, to make sure you are not being too harsh. I hope it helps.