The most socially skilled dont always fit in

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Ai_Ling
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16 Oct 2011, 2:37 pm

So I work at the supermarket, and this girl around my age who's from out of state has extremely good social skills. She works on customer service. Shes one of those NTs who can make conversation with pretty much anyone. See I live in Hawaii, and there's a certain culture and there's a certain way the locals act. Well shes extremely friendly and tries to talk to everyone. And I'm sure the people there like her. Yesterday, I realized, she has working here for a month and while shes very well acquainted with everyone, she really hasn't made friends with anyone.

See shes the type of girl who you can imagine would have made friends very rapidly within the 1st week of being there? Shes friendly with everyone but she hasn't really became 'buddies' with anyone. In a way I was surprised but not at the same time. See the local people tend to have biases against people who are not like them. While shes very nice and very well skilled socially, shes not like them. I found this interesting

So even the most socially skilled don't always fit in either.



Greatsharkbite
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17 Oct 2011, 4:39 pm

This is incredibly true. Sometimes social skills aren't enough--there are just people who do not want to make friends with you no matter how good you are socially.

Although some really just don't want to be friends with a lot of people, they are so socially lubricated people bug the crap out of them (they want to be around them all the time) and choose to only be friends with family or a select few from their inner circle.



anneurysm
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17 Oct 2011, 8:20 pm

This is a great way to demonstrate that social success it's not just about skills, it's about the environment you're faced in. If she had been a local, she would have fit right in, but because she is more or less an 'outsider', the people around her are resisting the development of a friendship with her.


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.