Aspies being annoyed by other aspies

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I live in a dorm building with another kid with aspergers. (not my roommate, thank god)

Now, I'm pretty normal for the most part, I've pretty much grown out of my social awkwardness and everyone thinks I'm normal. It seems that my only real problems I have are with paying attention in class and keeping organized. Sometimes I might play with my hair or touch things, but not to the extent to make others feel uncomfortable.

This kid, however, has a tendency to make weird, annoying noises because he thinks it's funny, invades peoples personal space, hugs girls when they dont want to be hugged and other things that can easily be considered sexual harassment...This kid pretty much has no social skills.

I feel insensitive saying this but this kid REALLY gets on my nerves. I even told him to shut the f**k up once when he kept making weird noises. I feel like it's because I used to do most of the things he does but I grew out of it when i was like...14. and I'm 23 now. And it's hard seeing another aspie repeat the same mistakes I made, and creep people out in the same way I used to creep people out. Part of me feels like I should be his friend but then another part of me feels like he'll just get on my nerves. Plus I wouldn't want him following me around everywhere I go cuz he thinks we're best friends, especially since all my neurotypical friends are all wicked creeped out by him. So yeah. I dont know what to do.

That would annoy me too. Not much you can do really except point this out to them. It's gotta be hard telling someone that everyone he knows is creeped out by him.

I knew a guy like that who's an aspie who did the same things, and I met him for the first time in Elementary School. I had the honour or dishonour of meeting up with him in High School and than again in College. He did all the things that you described above. There was also one time when him and I were in Grade 9 and he picked up a dead bird and started chasing all the girls with it. 15 years ago after the two of us just got out of college and I was working for a year, I spotted him from a little ways and he was laughing about the shortcomings of people, than he said hi to me. I haven't seen him since.

You can try to talk to him and help him with some of the social stuff, but in the end it's his choice to change or not.

With regard to the noises there's always the trusty old investment of noise cancelling headphones .

Yes. It is very possible. In fact, some of the people who I've disliked the most have been Aspies. And some of the people I like the most are Aspies too.

There are plenty of exceptions.
NT's can be annoying too to both Aspies and NT's.
Aspies can be annoying to Aspies, but NT's also.
Many Aspies aren't annoying though. It depends on the person.

But largely, I avoid some Aspies (I mean the people who are really annoying) because I do not want to adopt as a habit their socially intolerable behavior. I emulate who I surround, naturally. So I prefer to surround myself with "normal" people who aren't "annoying". Though there are plenty of Aspies who do not bother me at all.

It can also depend on how deep he is in the spectrum, if he has severe AS he will problably have more problems than the usual ones we talk in this forum.

I would just choose another person to live with.

Maybe you can have a frank private discussion with him about specific behaviors. Try to keep the tone neutral.

I'm 39 but I still appreciate when people tell me I am bothering them. A good example one of my co-workers was on lunch break reading a newspaper. He started some small talk so next thing I know I started talking and I wouldn't stop. The topics were fascinating and I started followed him everywhere. Then he said, do you realize you have been talking non-stop for an hour--well no I didn't. He privately told me the next day not to interrupt him on his lunch break. I understood because I don't like to be interrupted on my lunch break either.
I will skip the further rambling stories but, I really appreciate when people talk to me privately and directly that certain specific behaviors drive them crazy--otherwise how would you know.

I did a lot of "crazy" things before I was 21 but no one specifically told me what was wrong. To this day I still appreciate honest opinons about my behavior if they were meant to help.

Well, not all Aspies get help to overcome things, and not all have the strength to overcome their social problems by themselves. You have two things you can do: 1) Choose yourself and talk clearly to your room-mate about not hanging out in public because he embarrass you and your "friends". 2) Choose to help someone and try to teach him how to overcome his issues. It is not your responsibility to help him, but just try to put yourself in his shoes for a moment. Try to think how would you feel if you were him. Telling someone to "shut the f**k up" is not the best way. You need to explain to him very clearly why the noises he is making make you uncomfortable. Explain instead of yell. Just remember how your parents, teachers or whoever helped you did it.

My daughter is the same position. There is an Autistic boy in her classroom and the boy has no friends and was being bullied. My husband and I talked to the principal and the bullying stopped (at least the physical part of it). I have been trying to convince my daughter to become his friend, but she does not want to. Because all the other kids are mean to him. And she does not want becoming his friend because then the other kids will probably be mean to her, too. I feel a little disappointed, but I understand her. I just wish she will not regret it in the future. When you are a parent of an Autistic kid you wish every Autistic kid in the world to get help, but if their own peers cannot help them, who will?

Hell yeah. I used to work with another aspie. He's open about it; no-one at work knows about me. They all think I'm (relatively) normal, perhaps just a bit weird.

And he is very annoying. I coped with him better than most of the office, but my efforts to improve his social skills were hopeless. He won't change. He's convinced that his condition makes it impossible for him to socialise normally. I have often been tempted to tell him that he can, and that I'm the proof, but that would mean telling him I have Aspergers and I couldn't rely on him to keep that secret. So I have to put up with his comments about being different and how everything affects him more and can't set him straight. Grrrr!

You people are jerks. No one can as "cool" and "in" as you people. I've been shunned my whole life by people, just because I'm weird and don't look or act a certain way. A lot of people found me annoying and irritating to the point that they would do or say mean things to me just to get me to go away. All I've done was try to be nice.

And of course no one wanted to go out with me in public, because it would damage their "rep" or whatever. Douches.

These people have enough problems as it is w/o being cussed out, laughed at, or being cold-shouldered because they don't act a certain way.