Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Everyone has social problems...

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

mom2bzy
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 31 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 10

14 Oct 2011, 1:03 pm

I was just at a meeting for my son's school and the school psychologist was there. We were having a discussion on my requesting help for my 10yo son who has had social skill difficulties since as far as I can remember. Out of the blue, she starts correcting my grammar, deliberately and insultingly in front of everyone there.

In the end, this particular lady is 1-well educated, 2-has long-term employment, 3-has at least a MA in psychology or psychiatry, 4-was rude, condescending and impolite.

What I concluded in the end? Give me someone who unintentionally breaks social cues and rules any day over someone who deliberately is insulting and socially inappropriate. Thanks, but I'll teach my own kid social conventions-it may not be perfect, but at least he will learn to be kind-hearted, and genuinely thoughtful. 10 thumbs up for everyone out there who may not get it right all the time like my son or myself, but who I'd rather have as a friend than anyone else.



Wallourdes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,589
Location: Netherlands

14 Oct 2011, 2:52 pm

Name me a person who never made a faux pas from the day he/she left the womb.

Everybody has something at one time or another, even those other people attending the meeting plus their children.


_________________
"It all start with Hoborg, a being who had to create, because... he had to. He make the world full of beauty and wonder. This world, the Neverhood, a world where he could live forever and ever more!"


jackbus01
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,197

15 Oct 2011, 9:06 am

Just wow!

You are trying to have a serious discussion with someone and they start correcting your verbal grammar. I am not an expert but I think that means "you are stupid and I don't want to deal with you". I happen to be quite articulate so this hasn't happened to me but that is just incredibly rude.



jackbus01
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,197

15 Oct 2011, 9:09 am

Wallourdes wrote:
Name me a person who never made a faux pas from the day he/she left the womb.

Everybody has something at one time or another, even those other people attending the meeting plus their children.


It's more than a faux pas, it's petty and rude and someone that works in a social field should definitely know better.



mom2bzy
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 31 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 10

15 Oct 2011, 1:21 pm

No kidding, I'd much rather have a person who unintentionally messes up, than someone who deliberately uses poor social etiquette in a mean way. I think there's quite a few people out there who are like the latter, why should I feel bad if I am not socially "sufficient" when there are people out there who are worse.



MrEGuy
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 231

16 Oct 2011, 12:43 am

Be allowed to do "4-was rude, condescending and impolite" is the reason people get "3- at least a MA in psychology or psychiatry".

NTs rarely expend energy obtaining anything if it doesn't grant them status, access or money. The entire point of higher education is the part where they call it "higher", as in a better vantage point to piss down on others. If they called "further" education, fewer people would be buying it.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,591
Location: the island of defective toy santas

16 Oct 2011, 2:58 am

MrEGuy wrote:
Be allowed to do "4-was rude, condescending and impolite" is the reason people get "3- at least a MA in psychology or psychiatry".

NTs rarely expend energy obtaining anything if it doesn't grant them status, access or money. The entire point of higher education is the part where they call it "higher", as in a better vantage point to piss down on others. If they called "further" education, fewer people would be buying it.


QFT+1 [billion billion]



Ai_Ling
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,891

16 Oct 2011, 5:03 am

mom2bzy wrote:
No kidding, I'd much rather have a person who unintentionally messes up, than someone who deliberately uses poor social etiquette in a mean way. I think there's quite a few people out there who are like the latter, why should I feel bad if I am not socially "sufficient" when there are people out there who are worse.


The difference is when your unintentionally messing up and people think your deliberately using poor social etiquette in a mean way. It happens to me all the time.

Speaking of poor etiquette in a mean way. This older women in the break room at work had her legs up on the chair, I looked like I wanted to sit down, she didnt remove her legs. So I awkward went and grabbed a chair instead. Later 1 of my co-workers came in who this older women didnt know that well either, she politely removed her legs and directed the co-worker to sit down. I was like WTF b***h! That was soo done on purpose.



Wallourdes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,589
Location: Netherlands

17 Oct 2011, 12:56 pm

jackbus01 wrote:
Wallourdes wrote:
Name me a person who never made a faux pas from the day he/she left the womb.

Everybody has something at one time or another, even those other people attending the meeting plus their children.


It's more than a faux pas, it's petty and rude and someone that works in a social field should definitely know better.


I was actually talking about her son, although now I see that it can be interpreted onto others in the post.

I think the grammar Nazi in the post was as you said, very inappropriate for her as a person and a professional.


_________________
"It all start with Hoborg, a being who had to create, because... he had to. He make the world full of beauty and wonder. This world, the Neverhood, a world where he could live forever and ever more!"


agwhanooo
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 72

24 Oct 2011, 3:04 pm

auntblabby wrote:
MrEGuy wrote:
Be allowed to do "4-was rude, condescending and impolite" is the reason people get "3- at least a MA in psychology or psychiatry".

NTs rarely expend energy obtaining anything if it doesn't grant them status, access or money. The entire point of higher education is the part where they call it "higher", as in a better vantage point to piss down on others. If they called "further" education, fewer people would be buying it.


QFT+1 [billion billion]


seconded



agwhanooo
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 72

24 Oct 2011, 3:12 pm

mom2bzy wrote:
I was just at a meeting for my son's school and the school psychologist was there. We were having a discussion on my requesting help for my 10yo son who has had social skill difficulties since as far as I can remember. Out of the blue, she starts correcting my grammar, deliberately and insultingly in front of everyone there.

In the end, this particular lady is 1-well educated, 2-has long-term employment, 3-has at least a MA in psychology or psychiatry, 4-was rude, condescending and impolite.

What I concluded in the end? Give me someone who unintentionally breaks social cues and rules any day over someone who deliberately is insulting and socially inappropriate. Thanks, but I'll teach my own kid social conventions-it may not be perfect, but at least he will learn to be kind-hearted, and genuinely thoughtful. 10 thumbs up for everyone out there who may not get it right all the time like my son or myself, but who I'd rather have as a friend than anyone else.


What cheek :roll: It's admirable that you can take such a positive attitude to it. Someone like that is a bully plain and simple and not worth getting yourself upset over. The problem is entirely hers and it's fortunate you can see that.



Tawaki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,439
Location: occupied 313

26 Oct 2011, 7:00 am

Ai_Ling wrote:
mom2bzy wrote:
No kidding, I'd much rather have a person who unintentionally messes up, than someone who deliberately uses poor social etiquette in a mean way. I think there's quite a few people out there who are like the latter, why should I feel bad if I am not socially "sufficient" when there are people out there who are worse.


The difference is when your unintentionally messing up and people think your deliberately using poor
social etiquette in a mean way. It happens to me all the time.

Speaking of poor etiquette in a mean way. This older women in the break room at work had her legs up on the chair, I looked like I wanted to sit down, she didnt remove her legs. So I awkward went and grabbed a chair instead. Later 1 of my co-workers came in who this older women didnt know that well either, she politely removed her legs and directed the co-worker to sit down. I was like WTF b***h! That was soo done on purpose.


Maybe that older woman was being a b*tch, but did it ever occur to you she 1) can not read your mind, 2) might have felt ill, 3) might have been day dreaming and not even noticed you?

Your NT co worker did what I would have done, asked. The woman still might have blown you off, but you would have had a better understanding of the situation.

Yeah, you shouldn't put feet up on chairs, people do all sorts of crude crap. If I wanted to sit at a certain spot, I would ask.



Tawaki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,439
Location: occupied 313

26 Oct 2011, 8:42 am

Ai_Ling wrote:
mom2bzy wrote:
No kidding, I'd much rather have a person who unintentionally messes up, than someone who deliberately uses poor social etiquette in a mean way. I think there's quite a few people out there who are like the latter, why should I feel bad if I am not socially "sufficient" when there are people out there who are worse.


The difference is when your unintentionally messing up and people think your deliberately using poor
social etiquette in a mean way. It happens to me all the time.

Speaking of poor etiquette in a mean way. This older women in the break room at work had her legs up on the chair, I looked like I wanted to sit down, she didnt remove her legs. So I awkward went and grabbed a chair instead. Later 1 of my co-workers came in who this older women didnt know that well either, she politely removed her legs and directed the co-worker to sit down. I was like WTF b***h! That was soo done on purpose.


Maybe that older woman was being a b*tch, but did it ever occur to you she 1) can not read your mind, 2) might have felt ill, 3) might have been day dreaming and not even noticed you?

Your NT co worker did what I would have done, asked. The woman still might have blown you off, but you would have had a better understanding of the situation.

Yeah, you shouldn't put feet up on chairs, people do all sorts of crude crap. If I wanted to sit at a certain spot, I would ask.