Can the "aspie nature" rub off?
Hi, I'm a new member, and have been diagnosed for over half a year or so. Still in a stage where I'm trying to learn as much as possible about it. Of course then I began freaking myself out on all the symptoms I've had for years but never thought much of. But as I did so I began noticing symptoms in OTHERS as well, namely my younger sister. Tendencies and odd interests, odd things to say, etc. I began to wonder if she had Aspergers too. Then she began to start running on the same train of thought as me, but this might just be because we are around each other so much. Either way, there was only one thing that didn't factor in: she's friendly, an extrovert, and though has some social issues these sound more like typical teenage problems (She's in junior high, I high school). So if she had some minute form of Aspergers then so what, I get it from my dad, and we have the same father. But here's the thing...
A close friend of mine, who I've known for awhile, has bugan to do the same thing as far as thinking goes. We're in a lot of the same classes and extra circular together so again this might be the time together thing. But though he doesn't have quite the same introverted/social deadzone as me, he doesn't do a good job saying the right things or making friends. Then I begin to notice the interest thing once more. Okay, so everybody has a hobby, and there are normal things like computers and airplanes, but then some weird stuff like elevators. I have a monotone and limited facial expression, and both the friend and my sister do not, and they seem to understand emotions and read nonverbal language where I can't. But they both have small social problems, strange interests, and think similarly to me. Is this just from being around me too much and the "aspie aura" has rubbed off, or am I noticing symptoms in otherwise neurotypical people around me. Either way, even if I'm paranoid, how DO you recognize a fellow Asperger? What are the SMALL things, the details, that can confirm it? Sure, I can pick out tons of people who can't be friendly. But something little and mostly strictly autistic could be an asset.
Any one know what to look for?
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Four-leafed clovers don't fit the mold either.
The experts have to use an exhaustive battery of tests to diagnose you.
So you cant really ID others for sure just by meeting or hanging with them a couple times.
On the job, if you work with someone (not just meet them the first time) for long hours over weeks and witness all of their quirks you can makes some good guesses.
In my job there have been a number of people whom I suspect were on the spectrum- one bombed out- and the other excelled in the job.
I got to gossip with a low level superviser on a break once, and learned that the guy that got fired had indeed been an aspie.
This lady superviser I was yakking with was a psych major and had long suspected he was an aspie , and then got a doctor's note or something from him that officially stated that he was one.
The reason I suspected him was that he reminded me of myself as a child- actually he was a little worse than I was as a child.
Very bright in a bookish sense, but no ability to pick up social cues, no survival extinct whatsoever( he asked a favor of a superviser who had already reprimanded him three times for three different reasons in two hours and was suprised that the supervisor told him to leave for the day), seemed to lack motor skills. Quite a piece of work. Like in the school yard-everyone either was protective of him or picked on him, but nobody who worked with him longer than a few weeks could ignore his oddness. He was an extreme case.
The person who excelled was very good at the tunnel vision parts of the job but had problems when she was promoted to a superviser. But she over came them and became a role model for other supervisers. She was very quiet, and had a subtle naive rigidness that seemed a bit childlike and autistic. Hard to say with her. There was just something about her- some autistic aura- that for me actually made her kinda attractive. But she was my superviser, so I talked myself out of asking her out-alas. But I digress.
See, I'm also not sure if I'm not just subconsiously convincing myself because I unknowingly WANT people to be aspies. If so I'll be writing off every weird nerd as on the spectrum, which isn't nessesarily the case but knowing someone well can give insight. Naturally it doesn't help that one minute no one has any idea what I'm trying to say or how I think, shun me for it, and then suddenly my sister and I are an unbeatable duo in what-am-I-thinking-type-games and my friend commenting to me after what we now call a "psycic moment" that, and I quote, "We must have the same brain".
Is there anything in particular to give a good idea of an actual case or just my "aspie-radar" going crazy?
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Four-leafed clovers don't fit the mold either.
NT's do something called Mirroring. When they like someone and Identify with them they subconcisly begin imitating (for lack of a better word) them. It's there way of saying were in the same group. It's also something we should keep in mind to do conciosly from time to time. You can use it the other way to
build report, like in a job interview. If you mirror the other person (don't be obvious) for a while and subtaly change eg. uncross you legs (I've done a lot of reading). If they do it too you have report and they are now more agreeable.
Adopting a certain way of acting because of being in the same place for an extended period of time (like the mirroring) is completely different from catching a disorder (impossible). You tend to not be bouncy happy around a sad person, it doesn't mean you've "caught" their depression.
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Four-leafed clovers don't fit the mold either.
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