telephone distress

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Does anyone else have a really hard time with calls they have to make or answer?
I get started all right, but after a few seconds I start shaking &/or trembling. ( I have my phone set to automatically answer a pre-recorded message and then I know if I really have to call back - usually, I don't).
When I absolutely have to talk on the phone the trembling makes me feel terrible and the sound shows up in my voice; then I feel panicky, and the "mental cloud" prevents me from communicating even though I knew what I wanted to say at first.
Gah! I wish this didn't happen to me.

It sometimes gets awkward because I don't always know when it's my turn to talk. I hear a pause and start to speak, but the other person launches right over me. Either my timing's off or the other person loves a monologue. Then I get frustrated because the moment is gone. I don't know whether I am missing cues or the other person is actually disregarding what I have to say. It only happens with some people.

I once asked a man why he often spoke over me - in person and on the phone. He said that he wasn't finished talking. Was I supposed to wait after a considerable pause to make sure I could jump in? I finally decided he was just rude and distanced myself until the "friendship" fizzled.

I'm the same. People find it hard to understand in general, more so as I actually used to work in a call centre - it was hard, but I knew what I was supposed to say so that made it easier for me...it helped that I worked in collections so most people just shouted at me, which I found far easier to deal with than dealing with nice polite social-norm-ruled people. Now I've been out of work for a while I know I'd never be able to work in a call centre again, and due to my problems with a phone I've not been able to find a new job because I can't apply for jobs, answer the phone to arrange interviews, have phone interviews or work in any job that involves phone use.

I just can't bring myself to answer the phone, there's not enough time for me to prepare myself, if I have to call someone then I have to have lots of time to get ready - not practising or writing down what I'm going to say, but making sure I feel comfortable, a nice cup of tea, everything tidy, nothing distracting, etc. and even then there is a serious panic and I may hang-up. I'll try to make jokes or talk with confidence, but somehow it just doesn't come out like that...so my jokes go wrong and I must just sound like a blithering idiot.

I had to phone someone the other day to ask about workmen coming out to replace my bathroom tomorrow...I babbled for a while trying to be clear about why I was calling, the person I needed to talk to wasn't in so they needed to call me back...I panicked and found myself saying that I wasn't me but I was calling on behalf of me (the woman must have thought I was nuts, given as the whole conversation I'd said this was my home), guess I'm so used to telling people that I can't use the phone it just came out in the panic. No one called me back, and I just couldn't bring myself to call them, so no idea what's happening tomorrow *sigh*

I would rather do almost anything than talk on the phone.

I absolutely can't talk on the phone unless it's with my parents or husband without pacing, and even when talking with my husband over the phone I get nervous. All of these thoughts just come rushing into my head when I have to talk on the phone and I just have to keep telling myself over and over what I had rehearsed to say to the person, otherwise I'm at a complete loss of words.

I stumble through, and that's an improvement over "never" which I used to do. I have found that if people are impatient, I tell them I have autism and they back off and become really nice. I know many of us don't want to have to do that - I'm not saying anybody should, just it works for me.

I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I've finally gotten to a point in my life and what I want for myself, that I now will ask people to communicate with me by email or text. It really doesn't seem to bother anyone, and removes an awful, stressful situation from mine.

It's bad enough when I'm alone, but I absolutely cannot talk on the phone when someone is in the room with me. People always think I'm up to something because I always step out of the room, or tell the person that I can't talk right then, or just ignore the call. And people close to me often are offended that I always cut our phone conversations short. I've given a "I like talking to you, just not on the phone" speech many many times, most people seem not to believe it.

I hate talking on the phone. I almost always need to write an outline of what I'm going to say, and even then I have trouble with it. Fortunately, email is a thing, so I hardly ever have to call anyone.

I had a call I had to make today, and I tried the walking around and pacing thing, and it helped, but I'm still totally exhausted.

I have phone anxiety too, and talk almost entirely by a script, so I plan what to say in my head beforehand. It also helps to close my eyes so that I focus on the words I am saying without being as distracted. Don't know if these would work fo you, but it doesn't hurt to try,

The only time I get anxious about phone calls is when I am calling someone I have never seen face-to-face and/or if I'm not sure whether the person will respond or not.

I don't know why I see the majority of people here having anxiety issues with the phone, while most of the people I have met in person who are on the spectrum don't have such big issues with the phone at all. Maybe we're just all comfortable talking among ourselves on the phone.

My parents and sister get SO UPSET that I don't ever answer my phone. There's only two people in the world I will willingly and gladly talk on the phone to: my husband and my best friend. Well, and my daughter and son. But they don't so much "talk" as "babble incoherently" and "spout stories about princesses."

I absolutely hate it. When making a business call I hate it but I do okay, like if I have to call a company to get them to refund something I bought or something like that. But that script is way easier. "What's your name?" "What's your phone number?" "What's the problem?" No doubt ever as to when you are supposed to be talking or what you're supposed to be talking about.

But I absolutely HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAATE talking on the phone socially. I have absolutely no context whatsoever for any social cues or scripts I've memorized. I have hated talking on the phone since I was old enough to answer it. I made my mom practice the "how to answer the phone when Mom and Dad aren't here" script with me over and over again until I was sure I got it right, and then if anything atypical happened in the conversation I would panic and hang up.

So yeah. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/phone <<