You views on my friendship.

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I've been very close friends with someone for almost a decade, and I've been normal friends with them for more than two. We've been having trouble recently due to large changes in our lives. I ended up taking a job and have to live with family about 2+ hours away. I've also been dating during that time. We've had a lot of trouble over the past few months because I haven't been as supportive as he needs me to be. This is mostly due to the death of his mother, but is also due in part to me dating because I haven't had as much time as I used to. The problem has been that while we normally can argue and resolve something, recently we've both been more argumentative and hurt the more we talk. His contention is that even though we've been great friends for a decade we shouldn't be friends any more because of this, however I believe we can still work this out. Do you think that not being able to work something out over months is grounds for not being someone's friend or that we should continue to be friends in order to try to work these things out, or at least let them heal?

Assuming you've been generally supportive about his grieving, but not as available as he'd like you to be; in that case, he is being too needy/clingy for mere friendship or even close friendship. We cannot inhabit another person's pain, no matter what. That is a fact of life we learn as adults. He sounds to me to be either extremely immature or he's simply jealous and is trying to guilt trip you into more contact than you can afford. Does he expect you to be the magic healer of all grief?


If his idea of working things out demands that you spend more time with him than you can afford; is there really any choice? I mean; adults understand when a friend has moved 2 hrs away and now has a mate that he will necessarily spend less time with the friend. Adults accept that reality and stay friends, nonetheless. It happens to everyone.

Or am I missing something?