I don't know why I can't make any friends

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I do not know why I can not make any friends with my peers. I am friendly I try to talk, I don't act weird but I get either ingored or verbally made fun of....mainly ingored though. Has anyone else had this?

Yeah. I do have some friends (no idea how I got them though), but the other day I was talking to a friend about a girl in another class. I said that she was OK but that for some reason she gave me funny looks whenever I crossed her in the hallway.
Friend: "Yeah, but everyone gives you funny looks."
Me: " ! Really? Why?" (I hadn't really noticed)
F: "Because you're abnormal."

I kept bugging her to tell me exactly what part of my behavior was abnormal, but she couldn't/wouldn't tell me. All I got out of her was that she noticed it from the first time she talked to me.

I thought my behavior in public was pretty "normal".
Hmmm, maybe NTs have aspie sensors.

I'm sorry to hear that

Maybe you'd be better off looking for friends in an area where your knowledge or enthuisiasm would be particularly valued? Like if you have a particular interest or hobby, could you meet people that way?

I've found that like-minded people generally find each other, sooner or later. But it is a "numbers game" so just keep trying - go to new places, talk to different people, and see what happens. I've met a couple of really nice people (who have become great friends) in most unlikely situations!

You can't have friends because you're an aspie and it's hard for us to soclialize to our peers. It's because we don't read their body language and can't senser their feelings and we are literal. And we tend to zone out when someone is talking about something we aren't interested in. Isn't everyone like that? (Even NTs). It could do soemthing with your eye contact or your voice.

We can be unaware of how we function to normal people. For us we mgiht think we aren't doing anyhting different but everyone else is seeing something different from you.

I just started at a new school this year and I'm extremely popular (very surprisingly really). Anyway, what I did to make friends is that I'm nice to everyone, I wear the coolest clothes, I can tell people many interesting things about myself without over-doing it, people around here love getting to know new students, I'm a ton of fun to be around, and I'm always perky. And like I had previously stated, appearances are priority. I probably wouldn't want to hang around someone at all if I thought they looked weird. Actually, I'd probably aviod him or her as much as I possibly could. A lot of people are like that. So how would you describe your appearance? Are you satisfied with it? Do other people ever say anything about it? Trust me, looking good is a key to feeling good. And if you feel good about yourself, more people will want to be around you and your positive personality!

Quick.... pass a bucket!! !!

Huh?

No offensise lightning and I respect what you posted, but I don't belive clothing means anything. Of course you don't want to be dressed in ugly clothing, or anything but getting designer clothes to be popular is not cool. The problem is I can't play sports to save my life, and most teens play them, and well. .....so theres my problem.....

How about Drama or Debate club....thats the only place I ever met people as weird as me,and they seem to except me better then most.

Hey Weatherman

Yes, other people have the same problem, exactly the same problem. I personally understand how difficult it is to live with. I wish I could give you a simple solution, but I can't. Maybe something I've found in my own experience can be of some use to you.

I agree with you that clothes don't mean anything, but I've found it useful to recognize the fact that almost nobody else feels this way, and they are not going to change their minds on account of me. I think of clothes as camouflage. If I was going deer hunting or into combat, I wouldn't wear a suit and tie, that would needlessly make my deer hunting less successful or combat far more dangerous. My everyday clothes are camoflage to help me blend in with a world of fools who think clothes are important.

I'm not talking about being a fashion trend setter, just dressing enough like everybody else that they don't notice me as being conspicously badly dressed. I have no idea why, but this is considered vitally important to almost everybody. You don't have to believe this yourself, it's maybe like in the cartoons where you humor the lunatic who wears a lampshade on his head and thinks he's Napoleon.

Nobody needs a hundred friends. One good friend is a lot, and two good friends is a fortune. There are a few people out there who aren't as shallow and crazy as most everybody else, and you never know where they might be.

You probably have subjects you are deeply interested in. You might be able to find others interested in the same things. Common interests don't necessarily lead to close friendships, but they help to stack the odds a little more in your favor. You might also try opening yourself up to new interests, when you run into somebody who's deeply interested in a topic you find kind of interesting, dive in and check it out, particularly if you feel comfortable being around the person. If you decide you don't like it, you haven't lost much.

It's great to be a star athlete in a high profile sport, but not all of us have that talent. Are there other activities you've thought you might enjoy? Check them out. Some of them you won't like, but you'll probably find a few that you do like. Again, you won't automatically become best friends with everyone who enjoys the same activities, but it improves the odds for you and gives you something to talk about.

It's kinda like fishing, go where you think the chances are best, but recognize there's also a significant factor of luck involved. And always be alert for the friend who might appear out of nowhere, in violation of everything I have said.

I wish you one good friend.

Yeah, it's all about sports at my school, too. And I'm horrible at them as well. In fact, when I first met the principal, the very first thing he asked was, "So, what sports do you play?" Yeah, enough said. But back to the whole clothing thing. I'm the wealthiest in the school district, so clothes is pretty high on the priority list for me. I have to try and maintain looking my part, but I'm obviously not minding. lol Sometimes I wish people could just see me past my money and stuff but I know that's not going to happen any time soon. Hopefully you don't have to deal with the same situation. It's getting kind of old.

What a load of pessimistic BS and self pity. You think because you have aspergers you can't have friends? I have AS and have friends and so do many others here. I can read body language but sometimes I don't give appropriate body language people see me as weird, but I don't care, you can take me or leave me. Alot of people seem to appreciate my attitude. But if you wanna go ahead and keep living your self fullfilling prophecy go head be my guest. You're living in a false reality set fourth by the psychological cookbook known as the DSM-IV.

The autism spectrum is still far from being understood, so why would you want to sit there live out the life that DSM descrbes you have? Wouldn't you rather go against, try to fight the label and do what you can to live your life to the fullest?

Now before I get flamed let me say that I know that their are people with severe problems, however with a little motivation and a boost in self confidence and self esteem, you can learn to composate and overcome your differences in a way.

Just a little food for thought.

I have the same experience. I invite people to dinner, for example - if they agree, they agree reluctantly and never invite me back, though I can't think of anything ive done wrong, I always try to be friendly and sociable and welcoming.

Once or twice people have told me I try too hard, perhaps it is too obvious that I am trying to be friends, or perhaps I am too demanding. For example I had a work colleage I liked, and I kept saying to him, lets have lunch together, and once or twice he agreed, but after a while he would get annoyed and say I was too pushy. But if Im not a bit pushy then there would not be even one or two lunches together. So what does one do?

Another thing that may be relevant is that I feel very uncomfortable if I am the centre of attention. This has happened only a few times in my life, but when it did, quite harmlessly, it made me feel very awkward indeed. But only in social situations. I have given public talks and taken classes without feeling uncomfortable in the least, not even stage fright. Strange, eh?

I don't have trouble making friends in person, but I do have trouble making friends online.

I'm a bit stuck on the whole making friends front. I dont have any close friends just people I'll say hello to in college. Sometimes I wish I could connect with people but then when people try to get close to me I wish they didn't. It's so confusing.

There is a girl I know and she has asked me to go to the cinema on friday with her, I dont know what to do. I enjoy my own company better and can go along time without talking to 'friends' but at college I feel as though I must make friends as that is what you do at college. I dont know how to explain it really as it's confusing to me. If this makes any sense I'm not sure if I want friends or not. Thing is if I did want friends I dont think I'de be very good at making them.

Poncho.........Just wanted to say,I am pretty much in the same boat.....confused.The few times I have had friends....I tend to either get overwhelmed with the amount of time they require(some people cant be alone for a few minutes or go any where by themselves!!??)I also find myself getting pulled into things I dont like...like gossip,cruel talk about others....and when I try and say it makes me uncomfortable....I am told ,I am being "holier then thou"...ouch.Then there are all the "head games"
I always feel like I have pissed people off but dont know what I did....and they wont tell me.The whole thing can be exhausting(or boring)or both.I have never been good at making comprimises,either.I like foreign films....I dont want to go watch the latest "Block Buster".Then,there is the whole thing with them trying to "change me for my own good".....wear this,dont like that guy,wear a bra....yuck...