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memyselfI
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29 Nov 2011, 4:14 am

Moog wrote:
Vigilans wrote:
Some people are narcissists and can do the mental gymnastics necessary to believe themselves incapable of being in the wrong.


We've been dealing with one recently.

Actually, I'd like to propose that there's a spectrum for this. I've noticed some people thinking everything they do is wrong, and some thinking nothing they do can be wrong.


I suspect this post is about me.

I stopped posting on this forum, because I thought I was being bullied.
I still believe I am being bullied by:
mental (written abuse)
indirect (spreading rumors)

Discuss..



VincentVanJones
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29 Nov 2011, 4:41 am

memyselfI wrote:

Discuss..


Don't take negative feedback on a online forum to heart unless you deserve it?



memyselfI
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29 Nov 2011, 4:52 am

VincentVanJones wrote:
memyselfI wrote:

Discuss..


Don't take negative feedback on a online forum to heart unless you deserve it?


I don't think I deserve it.

Quote from Kirsten:
For someone who’s faced a lifetime of bullying it can be hard to break the cycle, as the long-term toll on self esteem that abuse creates can convince the victim that they are at fault, that people treat them this way because they deserve it.

and also being called a bully is different to being told you're stupid or other personal insults, because it implies that you are hurting someone else, therefore it is difficult to ignore.



League_Girl
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29 Nov 2011, 5:23 am

I don;t think that post was about you because he said they have been dealing with it recently and you hand't made a post in a while befire this thread. So it can't be you because you hadn't been posting so they can't be having problems with you.



memyselfI
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29 Nov 2011, 5:47 am

League_Girl wrote:
I don;t think that post was about you because he said they have been dealing with it recently and you hand't made a post in a while befire this thread. So it can't be you because you hadn't been posting so they can't be having problems with you.


Thank you for writing that.
(I have pm'ed Moog about some stuff)



VincentVanJones
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29 Nov 2011, 6:05 am

I feel that many people with AS and such gravitate to online communities (friends without having to see them! :)) and then when they feel they are involved in said community tend to take things that people (often with more issues then themselves) say to heart as if they were a kid at school or such. The web provides much freedom, but also much anonymity. I am guilty of taking things said on other forums very personally in the past, now I realize I was feeding the trolls as it were. Unless something is directly stated to you or implied in such a way you can't possibly misinterpret, assume that said person was talking to somebody else, or is just an as*hole who needs to get out more.



memyselfI
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29 Nov 2011, 6:48 am

VincentVanJones wrote:
I feel that many people with AS and such gravitate to online communities (friends without having to see them! :)) and then when they feel they are involved in said community tend to take things that people (often with more issues then themselves) say to heart as if they were a kid at school or such. The web provides much freedom, but also much anonymity. I am guilty of taking things said on other forums very personally in the past, now I realize I was feeding the trolls as it were. Unless something is directly stated to you or implied in such a way you can't possibly misinterpret, assume that said person was talking to somebody else, or is just an as*hole who needs to get out more.


Also thanks.
I do take things personally and struggle with implied meanings.
There are lots of posts on WP that start with 'some people..' or similar.
Anyway it is probably good advice.



League_Girl
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29 Nov 2011, 1:40 pm

Lot of people here seem to get paranoid when a person mentions a nameless user here because then people start wondering if they were talking about them. I think this comes from our past experience from when people read us wrong so they did false accusations about us. Now it has gotten us all worried if someone is talking about us.