Does NE1 Else Find Themselves Only Surrounded By Broken PPL?

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Sorry bout the L337$p34k - title wouldnt fit.

Im serious. I find my only relationships are with "broken" people with Issues that either use me or leave me when they find they cant.

Why?

How does one Deal with this?

I find that I'm in this scenario quite a lot as well. I'm sure we'd both appreciate some advice.

Who isn't broken?

Its hard for me to tell if you are being flippant (at wich I take no umbrage, mind you) or if you really dont know what I mean.

I meant that I had a spouse with Social Anxiety Disorder so severe that there wasa a time I (the autistic guy) had to handle EVERYTHING that had to do with people, and after she rose in corporate power to making six figures she got Gastric Bypass, dropped half her bodyweight, and then kicked me out after getting pregnant with another man's child.

I then moved in with two of my students who were on Heroin, i came to find out, and they robbed me pretty much blind, caused me to become Evicted, and now I live in a warehouse. Illegally. At wich point a guy goes through a fire, and I let him crash , were BOTH still in this warehouse 4 months later, and he hasnt really even pitched in on expenses (under $100 in 3 months) and the guy is a barber abd gets paid daily.

You're upset that you've been taken advantage of. I think this is common among autistics.

Well, yes, in a sense, we're all broken. However, the good thing about being autistic is you're usually pretty aware of your weaknesses and shortcomings, sometimes painfully so compared to other people, so you don't just...be an idiot. Me, yeah, I've had it happen slightly, however, I guess I sorta wised up when I was young, and yeah... Part of what scares me so much about getting into a romantic relationship is that I'll have a "broken" person on my hands. A lot of people get into relationships looking for someone to "complete" them or fix their self esteem problems or whatever, and for me, that signals run away.

However, I think part of what makes me not attractive to broken people as much anymore is my lack of empathy. Not so much like, sympathy, but empathy, I can't really deal with people telling me about their problems and me just going "it's all right..." or something, instead I tell people practical solutions to their problems the instant they're presented to me. So some people if they don't want a practical solution, they'll stop talking to me.

But yeah, basically, I try to learn from my own and others mistakes. I wonder what'll happen, though. Maybe I'll still be an idiot and take on someone that'll take advantage of me like crazy. I hope not, though.

But yeah, it's HILARIOUS, though. My sister had/has extreme social anxiety and wouldn't even order at restaurants and check things out at cash registers until she was like 16. However, she's the one that gives me the most crap about me being weird. Pot calling the kettle black, pretty much. I mean, people think if you got ASD, you're just FUBARed of a person, but really, at least in my case, I'm doing very well and have a good life compared to lots of other people. The good thing about Aspergers is, you can learn things very well, so if things are pointed out, you can compensate in other ways or whatever. I think it's much better to have an Aspergers or in my case, NVLD thought process, than an "NT" one that seems to think solely with their emotions.

Meh.

Fraac

Of COURSE Im upset about it but thats not really the point of this topic. I guess I womder what we DO about it , and how do you see it COMING ? I mean , you would think that by SHEER LUCK at SOME point I would run into ONE person that wasnt trying to f**k me over , AND actually liked me.

1K Knives:\

I do that same thing, but almost reflexively. I mean, i see the soloution and you dont, it comes flying out of my mouth. I dont get this NT BS about "oh i just want you to listen to me vent" f**k that noise , FIX THE PROBLEM OR TELL ME HOW . Then Ill have naught to b***h about, neh?

I ave this one guy I know that goes ON AND ON about the SAME s**t every day... how the guys at his job treat him , blah blah blah... he should just quit because his boss steals from him and hes always broke - but hed rather get shafted than face the unknown. Hed literaly be better off unemployed in his situation, but hed prefer to b***h.

I can't relate. I can always see fakeness and I don't know if other autistics who get played are lacking my ability or are choosing not to see what they know to be true. I wouldn't want to offend by suggesting the latter when it may be an impractical skill for you to acquire.

Generally, if you're awesome, beautiful people will like you. That's true even if the bad ones are still screwing you.

Well if I was working and my boss stole from me.......and the other workers treated me like crap I would probably be complaining to, but I would quit because I see no reason anyone should put up with that sort of BS but I'd b***h to.

Sometimes people are just selfish.

I don't know any particularly broken people in real life. But then, I don't know a lot of people, period.

What is preventing you from being assertive with people and lay down the rules of what you will and won't put up with? Also, what's wrong with them leaving you when there are problems. A bad relationship is worse than no relationship.

Oh, sure. Everybody I know seems to have at least some mental disorder or another. Normal people just don't really stick around in alternative culture.

Social Anxiety, schizophrenia, borderline, depression, paranoia, narcissism and various kinds of autism are all around, but mostly we're a nice bunch who get along well enough, regardless. Mental normality it overrated, 'nyway.

The people you've met just seem... Iunno. Mean, short-sighted and selfish? That's not a mental disorder; I've known people of all the above disorders who understood the importance of getting along and playing fair with others.


In your case, forget about the ex and the heroin junkies, and just ask the barber if he could pitch in, explaining what the expenses in question are. He might not be averse to the idea, just unaware that even squatting takes a little bit of money sometimes. With costs that low and a job, I can't imagine he's doing it on purpose.

Raza:

Its always some promise to pay in the future that never comes true with this guy. He told me thursday that he was going to give me money on Sat, here it is Sunday and ...

Thats why I think the guy might have a drug problem or something...

I like "broken" people more than typical NTs. I have lots of issues/problems/differences/weaknesses due to my AS & other disabilities & problems I've had in life related to them. I find broken people are more relatable to me. We share some of the same issues with fitting in, being misunderstood, having different problems, wanting support to turn to, & a friendly ear to listen. I used to feel very badly about things & having friends even online that I could turn to really helped me out a lot. I like being there for others & helping them out when I can because helping otehrs can be a good way to help yourself sometimes & I'm hoping that I can find support for myself, make friends & find a girlfriend in the process. Anyways... Dealing with broken people can be a bit tricky because there is a line between being helpful & enabling bad behavior or allowing yourself to be taken advantage of; I found that out the hard way. Some broken people are users who take advantage but others are just stuck in a bad situation or have there own issues that they are trying to deal with. Sometimes you can take a more active interest in the person & kind of tell if they really are trying or if they are just using you but other times it's harder to tell. It's very good to be aware of your own weaknesses & limitations because you need to make sure that you put yourself 1st & take care of yourself when you need to because you can fall aaprt & be of less help to them if you don't take care of yourself.