Blaming ____________ for not fitting in?

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Ai_Ling
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30 Sep 2011, 4:37 pm

I was wondering if any of you tend to blame the area, time period, demographic for not fitting in, do you think its legit.

Like:
I dont have any friends because the people around here are ________________, and they're stupid, etc

or I dont have any friends because the people these days are ________________, if I lived back in the 1800s, I'd fit in.

or I dont have any friends my age because young people are only into ______________ and I only get along with people at least 15-20 yrs older

or I dont have any friends because people in the US are ____________________, so if I moved to another country, things would be better.

Admittedly, I blame the area. I'm from Hawaii and I dislike it here. The people talk in dumb pidgin, hate people from outside of hawaii, are too laidback, (if your uptight, its a bad thing), etc. Theres many stereotypes of people around here. I dont fit any of them. I'm a foreigner in my own land. I went to college in CA, and well its a lot more diverse. And I wouldnt exactly say I fit in but I'd say it was easier to find people that liked me. I hate the fact that Im back home at times but what other options do I have right now?

Thats just me, I was wondering, is it legit for me to say that and blame the area? Do you guys do that too?



tomboy4good
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30 Sep 2011, 6:26 pm

Yeah I blamed growing up & living in So Cal for my problems of not being able to make or keep friends & being bullied. It's also due to my hard wiring....even as a kid, I knew I wasn't like everyone else. It would have been cool had I known someone else I could relate to growing up. Probably would have help me out a lot. But even people I thought accepted me for who I was said some pretty crappy things about me (stupid, dumb, etc).


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CockneyRebel
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30 Sep 2011, 7:00 pm

My famous one is....I don't have any friends, because people these days are nymphos who are too much into the next coming century. I'd have more friends if these were the 1960s.


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Who_Am_I
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30 Sep 2011, 8:54 pm

Nope.
I lack friends because I don't try, I'm not all that interested in people, and my social skills suck.


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SadAspy
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30 Sep 2011, 9:55 pm

I just can't connect to most people. They're obsessed with sports...I don't care about them. They like stupid reality shows...I hate them.



League_Girl
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01 Oct 2011, 12:12 am

Yes. I have blamed things like I don't have friends my age because they don't want me around. I don't have friends my age because they are boring and we don't have things in common. I am different because people treat me different. Kids are in a rush to grow up so I have troubles fitting in.



ArthurDent
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09 Dec 2011, 11:20 am

Here's mine:
I only have one friend because I'm surrounded by loud mouth obnoxious gits who refuse to understand me I'm fortunate that there is someone who understand me, also she is honest with me and doesn't mind me going to her for conversation practice (sorry fit going off topic I can't help praising my friend in detail, also sorry for necroposting)



nick007
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09 Dec 2011, 8:05 pm

I do sometimes. I cant drive due to low vision & I live in a rural area with no public transportation & there's not place for me to go meet people here except for bars & casinos


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1000Knives
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09 Dec 2011, 11:32 pm

I don't know if my concerns about this sort of thing is legitimate but I do it.

First, I seem to get along much better with older people, like people 30+, and I feel like people my age seem to be mostly like....barbarians.

That, and in Connecticut, it's tough as hell. My friend who once lived in Wisconsin, California, and Georgia basically has had the most terrible luck in Connecticut. I think my upbringing was much more old fashioned than most, so I feel like I'd do better in rural New England or in the South, both places I felt much more comfortable and felt the people were much nicer than in CT. It could be me saying the grass is greener on the other side, but I don't think so. I talked to a guy in New Hampshire who ran a head shop, and he said he used to live in CT, and hated it and loves New Hampshire. America I guess is pretty sweet to live in, as far as concrete stuff goes, but as Oscar Wilde said "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between." Oddly enough, I felt really comfortable in Montreal when I went as a kid, too, in 2001 or 2002, and I got to hear eurodance on the radio there, too, which I'd not heard here in America at the same time. I like Japanese stuff, like I have a LOT of Japanese music and media, and like Japanese cars, etc, I don't know if I'd be happier in Japan. I think my subconscious thinks so, as I had a really peculiar dream of me moving to Japan. Then again, I've never really met too many Japanese people anywhere, so I don't know how I'd actually do with Japanese people. Lastly, I do get along really really well with most foreigners here, and people apparently here in CT/US in general maybe think I'm a foreigner when I'm a native, so I don't know if I'd do better in another country or not.

As far as doing better in another time, perhaps. I don't think like, too long ago, like 1800s I would have been much better off, but I think maybe the 1980s seems more appropriate for me. Enough modern technology to make me happy, enough oldschool values that I wouldn't get in trouble. Basically, an era before the "school shooter" stereotypes and zero tolerance and all that crap went into full swing. If I look back in I don't know, at the very least, my life, that whole stereotype is the one that damaged me most. I think I would be happier at my age in the 90s. But I don't know for sure, just I know all my favorite stuff is from the 80s and 90s, like my favorite music is 90s eurodance, which is pretty much a distinctly 90s phenomena.

Basically I feel like right now I'm living in the Brave New World Aldous Huxley wrote of.



WFurman
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11 Dec 2011, 10:12 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
I was wondering if any of you tend to blame the area, time period, demographic for not fitting in, do you think its legit.

Like:
I dont have any friends because the people around here are ________________, and they're stupid, etc

or I dont have any friends because the people these days are ________________, if I lived back in the 1800s, I'd fit in.

or I dont have any friends my age because young people are only into ______________ and I only get along with people at least 15-20 yrs older

or I dont have any friends because people in the US are ____________________, so if I moved to another country, things would be better.

Admittedly, I blame the area. I'm from Hawaii and I dislike it here. The people talk in dumb pidgin, hate people from outside of hawaii, are too laidback, (if your uptight, its a bad thing), etc. Theres many stereotypes of people around here. I dont fit any of them. I'm a foreigner in my own land. I went to college in CA, and well its a lot more diverse. And I wouldnt exactly say I fit in but I'd say it was easier to find people that liked me. I hate the fact that Im back home at times but what other options do I have right now?

Thats just me, I was wondering, is it legit for me to say that and blame the area? Do you guys do that too?


I don't believe that it is legit for you to blame the area. I just believe that this is an assumption you make.

I blame the fact that I have Asperger's Syndrome for not fitting in. I have felt that if I didn't have AS or there was a magic potion that would remedy myself from the condition, things would be better as I would fit in. I know that people with AS have difficulty having friendships with other people, and therefore people like myself with AS are constantly alone.

I believe that people with AS have friends, it's just that their definition and perception of a friend is different.



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12 Dec 2011, 5:12 am

It's easy to blame an inability to fit in on these things, protects the ego. "It's my city's fault," "It's this century's fault," means I don't have to tell myself the truth, which is "It's my fault."


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Summer_Twilight
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12 Dec 2011, 10:20 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
I was wondering if any of you tend to blame the area, time period, demographic for not fitting in, do you think its legit.

Like:
I dont have any friends because the people around here are ________________, and they're stupid, etc

or I dont have any friends because the people these days are ________________, if I lived back in the 1800s, I'd fit in.

or I dont have any friends my age because young people are only into ______________ and I only get along with people at least 15-20 yrs older

or I dont have any friends because people in the US are ____________________, so if I moved to another country, things would be better.

Admittedly, I blame the area. I'm from Hawaii and I dislike it here. The people talk in dumb pidgin, hate people from outside of hawaii, are too laidback, (if your uptight, its a bad thing), etc. Theres many stereotypes of people around here. I dont fit any of them. I'm a foreigner in my own land. I went to college in CA, and well its a lot more diverse. And I wouldnt exactly say I fit in but I'd say it was easier to find people that liked me. I hate the fact that Im back home at times but what other options do I have right now?

Thats just me, I was wondering, is it legit for me to say that and blame the area? Do you guys do that too?



Hawaii? You're lucky. I like it there because of the tropics and the culture. However, I don't live there everyday so I don't know. However, I thought some of the people who lived in the Waikiki area were really snobby. However, I love the people in The Big Island.

I don't really blame any of those areas but I know that it can be a struggle in making friends. If there is anything that I do blame is the culture and media and how it teaches people to disrespect others. From what I have witnessed, I have noticed that even people of other different disabilities act disrespectful



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12 Dec 2011, 10:21 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
I was wondering if any of you tend to blame the area, time period, demographic for not fitting in, do you think its legit.

Like:
I dont have any friends because the people around here are ________________, and they're stupid, etc

or I dont have any friends because the people these days are ________________, if I lived back in the 1800s, I'd fit in.

or I dont have any friends my age because young people are only into ______________ and I only get along with people at least 15-20 yrs older

or I dont have any friends because people in the US are ____________________, so if I moved to another country, things would be better.

Admittedly, I blame the area. I'm from Hawaii and I dislike it here. The people talk in dumb pidgin, hate people from outside of hawaii, are too laidback, (if your uptight, its a bad thing), etc. Theres many stereotypes of people around here. I dont fit any of them. I'm a foreigner in my own land. I went to college in CA, and well its a lot more diverse. And I wouldnt exactly say I fit in but I'd say it was easier to find people that liked me. I hate the fact that Im back home at times but what other options do I have right now?

Thats just me, I was wondering, is it legit for me to say that and blame the area? Do you guys do that too?



Hawaii? You're lucky. I like it there because of the tropics and the culture. However, I don't live there everyday so I don't know. However, I thought some of the people who lived in the Waikiki area were really snobby. However, I love the people in The Big Island.

I don't really blame any of those areas but I know that it can be a struggle in making friends. If there is anything that I do blame is the culture and media and how it teaches people to disrespect others. From what I have witnessed, I have noticed that even people of other different disabilities act disrespectful. I dealt with them in special ed as a matter of fact and it was not fun. I remember feeling majorly depressed. However, I found that I was friends with older more mature adults.



namaste
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13 Dec 2011, 7:52 am

I keep blaming my parents because as a child they were strict with me, they never allowed me to interact with people, i was not given opportunity to go out of house ultimately i became socially awkward.

Also as per astrology my chart says that i cannot prosper or be happy in my birthplace...so i feel that i should move out of here but its not becoming possible.

Apart from that this is a cosmopolitan city different community people are living here and it becomes difficult to mix up with them....i feel if i were living in a smaller town things would be easier.



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13 Dec 2011, 5:29 pm

mds_02 wrote:
It's easy to blame an inability to fit in on these things, protects the ego. "It's my city's fault," "It's this century's fault," means I don't have to tell myself the truth, which is "It's my fault."


"It's my fault" as I'm a pathetic half-retarded, slow, ugly, stupid, and uneducated bum who can't accomplish even the simplest task? Yeah I'd say it's my own fault that I don't have any friends. People like me don't deserve friends.



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13 Dec 2011, 5:32 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Nope.
I lack friends because I don't try, I'm not all that interested in people, and my social skills suck.


This.