Concerning eye contact

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I have a very strange relation to eye contact. As I know it's a common thing that autists are very often not able to keep it.
I am somehow afraid of it. I have those fears that I could suddenly lose control over myself if I look into somebodies eyes,
mostly I fear that I would suddenly be that overwhelmed that I would wrap my arms around this person and kiss her or him, the gender plays no role for that.
I'm also afraid that I wouldn't be able to be apathetic anymore, that if I would look into someone elses eyes I would suddenly have to confess to myself that I would be realized by other living human beings and I had to confess to myself that those human beings are as alive and as true as I am. And according to that I would have to confess to myself that I exist, would suddenly feel the heaviness of life and liability.

Though I am able to have those thoughts my brain has not realized all those things. But it is afraid that it would awake from my dream-like life if I would look into someone elses eyes.

I don't know why I'm writing down those thoughts now. not even my psychiatrist knows that. You might say I'm schizophrenic, and my psychatrist says the same, but even if it's the case, the thing about eye contact is just as old as I am and the schizophrenia has come in the last years, maybe as a product of that. Do you think it would leave if I would force myself to look into otherones eyes?
please don't consider me crazy or something like that.

You can of course write a comment if you feel similar or have made similar experiences and know a way to fix it. Because I think I want to wake up.
I think if I wouldn't confess to myself that I'm really crazy I would really really be crazy so... oh, what a shame!... but my words are true in spite of that!

I just cant make eye contact-if I do my bottom lip quivers and I feel real uncomfortable and feel like a shock through my body-I know it sounds wierd but I just feel uncomfortable.
Subscribed to your youtube channel you are very good.

Oh, thank you very much.
Have you similar reasons for this feeling and shock you get as I have or haven't you considered your reasons yet?

Havent considered the reasons and I also look down a lot because people seem to turn away from me when I walk up to them and I look down so they wont focus on my face(which I am not good looking or maybe they think I am a creep or something) so they wont focus on looks and maybe want to get to know me instead-I just feel like when making eye contact they are trying to get into my soul and judge me. Very painful actually.

Perhaps try looking at them from an angle.

Even if people label you as crazy due to your fear of eye contact, I would like to assure you that you aren't crazy at all. No matter how hard I try, I'm not very comfortable with eye contact because I dislike seeing myself reflected in others' eyes.

Interesting... An NT once said while conducting an etiquette course that she hates staring at people's mouths because she might have a sudden urge to kiss them.

Ok, I'm just quoting another NT here, so sorry if there is any error. According to that NT, when NTs ask for eye contact, what they really want is face-to-face contact. You can't interpret a person's emotions from his or her eyes alone; you need to consider the entire face. When conversing, you should ensure that your face is facing the NT's face directly at all times. Do keep your neck straight, because even if you turn your neck left or right by a teeny-weeny bit, you will seem as though you are glancing at the NT from the corners of your eyes. Once the NT notices the "glance", he or she will write you off as rude. Whenever possible, focus on the NT's entire face--that's what eye contact really means. Wish you the best!

When you look a nonautistic in the eyes, you aren't just seeing them. You're seeing everything they believe in, their entire reality and their position within it. You're seeing hundreds or thousands of people. The herd. Of course it's overwhelming.

I got contact lenses from the irlen institute and it took care of this issue for me. Eye contact is no problem now... I don't feel too much overwhelming emotion when looking people in the eye anymore.

Eye contact is an issue with me too. I feel I can't see their face as I should, mostly look down or next to their face. It's been hard for me to learn it all these years. People might judge me differently this way and may not want to talk to me just because I can't look at them.

I've forced myself to look into my fathers eyes for a longer time after asking him if it would be ok. I was amazed that nothing happened but after some seconds I suddenly had to laugh... I think my fear has decreased slightly now.

As I've gotten older, I've learned it's important to look people in the eyes when you're talking with them, however I can't maintain it for long. I can look for a few seconds, then I need to look away, then I can look back at them, etc.

I've grown my hair (bangs) long enough to hide my eyes at times, and that helps me.

My reason for not being able to look at other people in the eye is for fear they are seeing into my soul, and I don't want to expose myself like that through my eyes. (weird, I know).

I should add a tip that helped me:

When you're learning to look people in the eyes as you're speaking with them, practice with someone who has a soft look (non-piercing eyes), and/or someone you know well who is non-judgmental.

You probably shouldn't tell them that you are practicing with them unless they know about your diagnosis and you feel completely comfortable with that person knowing what you are doing.


PS - I do get tired from forcing myself to look others in the eyes unless it's someone I am very close to like my husband. Also note, I feel like my eyes are rolling into a drift at times when I do this too long. I'm sure they are sometimes

I always thought looking at someone's face was a sign that you were paying attention to them or trying to get their attention.
I always had the problem of making too much eye contact and creeping people out.

Did you ever do those "eye magic" things as a kid? You know, those books where you sort of space out at a bunch of visual noise and a 3-D image emerges? I use the same tactic to "make eye contact" with people. I sort of look through where their eyes are sort of located, if that makes sense. Or I look at their mouth, because the mouth and eyes are close enough together that people can't tell that you're not looking at their eyes.

I'm uncomfortable with eye contact for some of the same reasons as you, particularly because it feels overly-intimate.

Yes, that sounds pretty useful. At least I should try to not look into a totally different direction.
To me it's sometimes even harder to look into a mans eyes since those intimate feeling feels even more uncomfortable if it's some kind of gay while I'm totally straight.
It's funny, I don't know the faces of many people I've already seen multiple times but only a slight idea of how they look like, but I've got an extremely good accoustic memory and can even perfectly simulate persons talking in my brain whom I've heard only very few times. Maybe it's because I'm grown used to identify people by their voice. It's also very useful for the music I'm making.

There are some cultures that consider it rude to look people in the eyes. I wonder if those cultures also put a higher value on aspie-like traits?

Now I'm curious . . . time to visit the library again.