Are friends necessary?

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It's always been a struggle for me to make friends, yet I've ended up with several whom I enjoy. I don't need a lot of socialization, though, and if it were entirely up to me we'd only talk once a week. After thinking about this, I wonder, do friendships serve a purpose? I chalk it up to the fact that "humans are a socially-oriented species," but I know there's more to it than that. Any thoughts?

I think shared activities can be fun to an extent but there are many things I like to do in solitary like painting, drawing, working out or even just playing videogames. It is good to socialize to an extent but I don't think it is necessary since there are many activities you can do alone.

I usually have different "levels" of friends.
Family-like friend, best friends, close friends and acquaintances.
Usually 1 each in the first 3 levels, and everyone else I know in the last one.
Right now my family-like friend decided to leave me, so my best friend moved up to be my family-like friend, my close friend moved up to be my best friend etc.
I like to keep my family-like friend really close to me, talking to me 24/7.
As long as I have one family-like friend the rest are unnecessary I suppose.

Everyone has a different level of need for friends, and can vary greatly from person to person. Like you, I would be perfectly fine with only talking to my closest friends about once a week or so. Some people need friends so much that spending more than an hour alone is incredibly uncomfortable.

Friendships do serve a purpose in that there are just certain things that cannot really be done alone or with casual acquaintances. Not to mention that it is nice to have someone at your back when you need it.

I wish I had someone I could open up towards on a more personal level, maybe a counsellor.

To me it's very important considering I lived in the States for 4 years (and counting!) and I have yet to have any true friends outside the Youth group in my church. because to me, it's like the feeling you're not "left out."

I think wherever you stand in terms of friendships is fine, given that you're comfortable with where you're standing.

But from a general evolutionary perspective, friendships served a marker of overall belonging within a tribe, and a safeguard against being shunned out. Also, interactions with familiar individuals calms one's nervous system, decreasing heart rate, but this assumes that the neural circuitry facilitating this is functional.

There were and are no such things as "friendships" within tribes. The tribe itself serves the purpose of friendships.

Aside from the whole idea that human beings co-operating with one another in various relationships (friendships being just one example) is what creates a functional+sustainable society...I guess it depends on the person. It seems like friendships meet emotional and practical needs.

Maybe I'm not understanding the question...

YES YES and a million time yes, I've tried to stake it out on my own and to focus completely on my hobbies without a care for anyone else, and the more I isolated myself the more depressed I became, to the point where I couldn't focus on my hobbies anymore.

People that reach incredible heights in life did not do it on their own, they had people to reinforce them alog the way. I find that life can be surmarized by rituals that feed into each other. In one moment you need to eat, in another one you need to create (parenting/art/science), and in yet another you need to share (as those previous things wouldn't matter if you were the only one on this planet), and then we sleep and we start the process all over again.

all the art/science/stories wouldn't really matter if you were the only one on this planet and couldn't share it. the first thing I do after watching a movie is go on social websites to hear what people are saying about it and to share my thoughts and opinions.

Human beings need to share to reach their full potential, thus friends are extremely important.

Maybe they wouldn't matter to you, but it's not necessarily the same for everyone else.

Being at the top of the mountain wouldn't matter if there was no one to witness the tremendous feat, or anyone to share the victory with, otherwise whats the point? Curiosity can only take you so far before the heights really start to test you, and for a person to press on they need conviction, love for other people is what grants a person that sort of resillience.

Its like how they say necessity is the mother of all invention, people wanted the lives of their children to be easier, so they innovated and then shared their creation.

Seems you have not yet learned that not everyone values life for the same reasons that you value life, does not have the same intellectual or emotional needs that you have. Also, the quote you mention seems to have no bearing on the discussion. Necessity being the mother of invention has nothing to do with whether or not experiences can be valuable when there is no one with which to share them.

That's like saying you're not human, I don't believe these people exist, and if they do they always seem like bitter recluses.

It has everything to do with what I'm saying because for a human being to reach their true potential they need to create, and the greatest creators are always in groups of humans that share.

A person that is loved more will be able to create and share more effectively, thus getting more out of his creation, and of life. There is much more sanctification where the fruits of your passion are constantly acknowledged, you feel loved and you feel important. Take away people and that passion fades, maybe not entirely but a person wouldn't be as driven.

We're on this planet to create, having friends helps immeasurably with that.

For me the point would be the process itself -- not the endpoint. The joy and satisfaction that come from doing something I wanted to do...the process/activity itself has value to me.



I think there is truth to what you say about how a person who is loved and appreciated will fare better than someone who is not...but I see something different than you do: What I see is that people who have their emotional needs met do better than those who do not have their emotional needs met...not everybody has the same emotional needs.

I don't need positive feedback (or any feedback, really) from others to do things that are challenging, nor to enjoy the things I do. I like positive feedback (to a point...a few times I've done things that have garnered me praise from more than one person and it actually made me really uncomfortable because it was too much attention and I didn't like it), and sometimes I like to share things with others, but neither are what I live for nor the central reason I create/do things (most of the time they aren't even part of the reason).... I feel deeply and have been described as "very intense" and "strong-willed" since I was a tiny little boy who spent a whole lot of time completely ignoring other people while exploring those parts of the world that happened to interest me....my passion has never faded from an absence of socialization.

I do need a certain amount of social contact, but most of the time I need significantly less than others need...and I need different forms of social contact than most people -- when I do want/need social contact I am often happiest when I can just be with a person, saying nothing and not always directly interacting.

For the most part, I am rather hermit-like but I am not bitter...and I am human, despite my atypical emotional/social needs.

I am a person who does need some closeness, love and friendship with others -- albeit less than average .... but I believe there are people out there (not necessarily reclusive nor bitter) who don't need these things, and that they're just as human as anyone else.

Friendships are very important imo from a sociological point of vieuw. They form your 'social capitcal', a support network. I think it is very important to have some people you can count on. Of course these don't need to be 'friends' as in people in a friend group. Good neighbours count too.
Besides that, friendships are key to some other things, for example the bigger your social circle, the higher chance of finding a partner.

But one can ask of how 'physical' these friends must be; it is my experience that online friends to roughly serve the same purpose. I stopped competitive gaming a year ago (had my own team, etc.), and although those friendships where very thin, I really miss this crowd.