The whole "Family Thing" is a joke to me.

Post Reply New Topic

The whole Family Thing is a joke to me. I mean, if my Parents have decided to have Children, and I'm one of their Offspring, than If I was living in a Perfect World, than my Parents should be able to deal with my Quriks and Obsessions, after all those years. They would have boosted my Self-Esteem, instead of harrassing me about my Accent, the Summer that I was 12, by telling me to stop talking through my Nose. They should be able to get a Clue, as to why I'm always jacking off to my Clubhouse. The reason that I keep jacking off to my Clubhouse, becasue I feel accepted, there. The first time that the Family thing has become a joke to me was when my Dad was comparing High Functioning Autism with Mild Down Syndrome, when I was asking Mom what Down Syndrome Tendencies were, at the Age of 16. Before that moment, Family Life seemed the way that it should. From that moment on, Family Life became this big joke, in my Mind and my Heart. That's what's caused me to become a Rebel. I don't cause any trouble, but I do have the "Attitude". The attitude is more prevailent on some days, than it is on others. I'm not Mentally Challenged, because I have an IQ of 113. I might be a little Immature for my Real Age, but that doesn't make me Mentally Challenged in any way. And I do chores, both to help out, and to prove that I'm not Special Needs, but I mostly do it as a way to show my sour attitude that I'm not Special Needs.

Does anybody else find the whole Family Idea a little hard to deal with, because of AS?

Is there any way that I can change my Attitude towards Family Life and Families in general? Or would it be very hard for me to do?

Does anybody feel the same way about their Family?

At times I do. they can be so bone headed. Usually cruel behavior is a sign of frustrations.

I learned at young age that blood ties don't mean much. In fact, those people can let you down the most. I try to make up for my lack of real family with good friends.

i live in foster care.

my biological parents knew about the very high possibility of aspergers but they didn't understand and dicided they would run out of love for me when i was 11.

my first foster family were oikay, they didn;'t relly get me either. (well, first i was with for more than 18 months)

my secound foster family tried very hard but rather then accept me for who i am now they spent there whole time with the attitude jamie has to be fixed. so rather than trying to help they ended up causing more problems by incoraging and act, and from that act i lost alot of who i was, and no i refuse to act.

where i am now the lady here is accepting, she doesent totally understand but she has a enough of a clue to know why some of my oddities are like that.

in all, families are way to confusing.

jammie

Poor Jammie. My Familly is just too huge to deal with, I never know who is family or not. Have my family heard of family planning? no.

This is not the first time that I have wondered about the emotional problems that can arise from unhappy family life, even when AS is a prominent factor in the equation.

I often wonder how many children who are labelled EBD/Conduct Disorder may be acting that way because of AS?

It is no good having psychodynamic therapy on its own and internalising blame and guilt on the part of the person receiving 'therapy', if there are underlying issues over and beyond the dysfunctional family.

It is fair to think that those who have received 5 years or so of psychodynamic therapy would be more balanced and have healthy relationships and life prospects and would be relatively happy in their lives.

If however, the underlying issues (such as for example, AS), was denied or not even addressed, then the same old problems would resurface when the person moves on from the therapy and tries to pick up where their life left off.

It can be difficult separating out the different aspects and address them in the way that is appropriate for each one.

This is what I find about my own situation and I wonder if it is something that applies to some other people, too?

I always viewed the concept of "family togetherness" as something utterly impossible. My relationship with my parents has always been bad, almost like a game of "who can outsmart whom?" (For me, outsmarting my parents consisted of "good behavior" that doesn't give them a reason to punish me; for my parents outsmarting me consisted of finding ways to punish me for the smallest infraction.) Anyway, when I heard phrases like "spending time together as a family," "quality time," and "having fun with family," I always cringed at how miserable kids my be during these things. For me, "family togetherness" usually consisted of one of these things:

My family goes to a museum. We end up seeing mostly the exhibits my parents want to see. My suggestions usually get brushed off on the spot. If my parents agree to them, the reaction is far from pleasant.
My family goes driving somewhere I wanted to go. They complain about how hard it is to get there, and how they wish they haven't agreed to it. When I ask to stop to eat somewhere, they yell at me for eating too much.
My family goes to a restaurant. Throughout the entire meal, my parents keep telling me not to eat to much, eat more slowly, etc. Ironically, that makes me do the opposite.
My family watches a movie at home. My parents yell at me to sit still and be quiet so they can watch the movie. Comments or questions about specific scenes are strictly forbidden. Violations result in getting sent to my room.
My family drives to explore another town. They have an intinerary in mind, and nothing stops them for following it. When I ask if we can go to an amusement park on the way for an hour or so, they yell at the that I only think about myself.
My family stays home together on a regular night. Either yelling and punishments go flying in all directions, or everyone does their own thing, barely saying more than a few words to each other.

Is it any surprise that I believe that words "fun" and "family" don't even belong in the same paragraph, let alone the same sentence. When I was at the Western Wall six months ago, I swore to God that I would never subject my kids to this kind of "family togetherness" under any circumstances. Then again, my future wife might not have the same dedication. So the notion of having a family seems unsettling at best.

I feel a little guilty about the whole Family Picture thing, but I've felt a need to speak my mind.

I am very fortunate to have a loving family, however they are somewhat stubborn, but I understand them because it's genetic (I'm stubborn and short tempered too). My personality is a copy of my dad's (except for my aspie traits of precision and literalism).

I'm actually pretty good at subtly manipulating my family to a degree to the point I could usually get what I wanted.

i post this as a parent of a child with AS. its sad that so many of you feel this way about your family. I know an AS trait is to be rigid and not see anything in between. What you think is uncaring might not be. I would never want my son to feel this way. I lay awake at night thinking of how I can relate to my son better. Try to put yourself in a lot of parents shoes. Its hard to raise children in general. its even harding raising a child of special needs. maybe what you see as them not wanting to do what you want might be beacuse you feel that its your way or no way at all. We try hard to please everyone and take crap from everyone along the way. We fought like hell to make people understand that you have AS. We fought with your school to make sure you received the proper education for your special needs. We took shite from Dr's telling us that we needed to be stronger parents and be more or a principal in a school rather than a parent. Now I understand that many of you have parents who are pretty crappy. (my X had adoptive parents who beat him day nd night because they did not understand his AS) But I like to think that most of us are better parents trying to make our famlies happy. I feel its pretty sad that if you don't have a bond with your own family you can hang up having one with others.. you might complain that you have no friends but your best friends are your family who give up their life for you. I try never to change my son but to let him be what he needs to be to feel comfortable. Yes I make him do things he does not want to do. But thats life and thats a lesson in life. Get over it. As a parent I do family things with my family. At times we don't have 2 nickles to rub together because 1 parent stays home to raise the family and make sure that the kids are not being taken care of by other people. we try to do things that don't cost a lot. yes my son wants to do greater things but he knows that we don't have a lot... Basically I say that some of you have great familes who try like heck to understand you. but at times you make it very hard for us to understand. its a 2 way street! i know from having a son with AS how hard it is to have him see that you can bed a little on the street.. but he sees the light.. he is 9 today and I tahnk god every day I have him.. yes he is a challange but a mother loves her child no matter what!