Spouse sufferings

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I cant handle this anymore i dont know what to do about this.

My hubby is a extrovert person he had a great social life before marrying me, lots of friends and cousins dropping in.

But once he got married to me many people started avoiding him and eventually he was less and less invited to parties, functions and social gatherings.

Infact his cousins get together with their wives and children and we are not invited because of me they dont like me since im quite, shy, gloomy and aspie.

Should i shift to another city, should i live separately..........i cant take it anymore.

Namaste, oddly enough, the wife and I had an extensive conversation about socializing only a few hours ago. We actually ended up coming to the conclusion that she was doing too much too fast with a current friend of hers(who wants us to move in, for example), and that she was asking too much from me as a result as well.

While my results are neither here nor there, the important part if that my wife and I sat down and talked about it. You should sit down with your spouse and ask: "Are you unhappy with your social situation? Am I honestly to blame, in your opinion? How do we fix this?"

It's obvious that you're feeling guilty about this, but you should know how your spouse feels before you make any decisions for him. Start a dialogue.mlisten to your spouse. Be willing to compromise/change behavior if needed.

Actually i feel guilty for my spouse i noticed that he feels hurt and bitter because his cousins have let him down...
but he says that he is ok with it and now even he doesnt feel like socialising.
i have asked him to go out on vacations and parties without me so that he can have a good time
and not feel uncomfortable having me around.

I remember as a child whenever i had friends they would be stuck with me but when they decided to move on they
were able to make lot of friends, groups and enjoy social pleasure like going out for movies, shopping etc.

So there's two possibilities here as I see it:

1) you are blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault and using past guilt to justify that blame.

2) your husband is in fact upset with you and hiding it.

In either case, I would suggest the following:

Sit him down, and tell him how you feel. Explain that you're feeling as if you are to blame for his social struggles as of late and are willing to work to fix it if he'll let you. Ask him if he honestly thinks you might be to blame and tell him you won't be upset with him as long as he's honest with you.

At that point, you'll have to trust that his answer is an honest one. Since I'm sure you love your spouse and vice-versa, there should be no issue there.

If he does blame you, then work on finding a solution. If he insists it isn't your fault, take him at his word and try to let go of that guilt for once.

i dont know how to work on the situation.
i am a very good host....i try to cook maximum dishes when someone comes, i try to
feed them well, also i give some return gifts
but yet i cant connect with people because im very quite and shy
there is no way i can work on this issue.
even i offer to help people a lot but yet they dont seem to be interested in making friendship with me.

Again, sitting down and talking to your husband is the solution here. Either there is no problem, or he might have some ideas for you to try. It's a partnership for a reason. Don't automatically assume the blame for all of his troubles.

It really seems to me like you've got a load of guilt from bad experiences in the past and are projecting it onto a situation that doesn't warrant doing so.

I've been there. Hell, quite recently, even. But it isn't healthy. Trust your spouse. Talk to him. As soon as possible.